


I'm Fine.

by Octogator



Series: I'm Fine. [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: ASL, Abuse, Angst, Blood, Child Neglect, Eventual sinning probably, F/F, F/M, Friendship/Love, Hurt/Comfort, I Don't Even Know, I'm not nice to my characters, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Mention of Past Abuse, POV Second Person, Panic Attacks, Past not nice things., Rating may change., Reader is They/Them with female parts, Selectively Mute Frisk, Sign Language, This is my first time writing in second person., mute character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-10
Updated: 2017-02-14
Packaged: 2018-05-05 21:59:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 27
Words: 84,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5391857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Octogator/pseuds/Octogator
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your were well on your way to your masters degree, or at least you were until your mom skipped out of town and left you to take care of your drunk of a stepfather and your younger siblings. You could have said no, told Jerry to clean himself up and be an adult, told off your mother for not taking the kids with her when she ran from her abusive marriage.</p>
<p>But then you’ve never been one for talking very much. The thought of talking back to the man who labeled himself your father… well you’ve seen what happens.</p>
<p>So now you’ve given up your future, your half finished degree and research papers all but forgotten as you play housewife and stay at home mom for your younger siblings, shielding them from as much of it as you can and trying not to embarrass yourself in front of the sweet goat woman and funny skeletons that moved into your building.</p>
<p>Oh yeah, Monsters were a thing now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. CHAPTER 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm going to apologize now, and probably every chapter after this to. I started writing this as a way to vent while I had a bad day, and then I just kept going, Its gets kinda angsty, at least for me, and its going to get worse before it gets better. 
> 
> This is my first fic for the Undertale fandom, and my first time writing in this POV. I'll just shut up now and post this before I go hide.
> 
> *EDIT*
> 
> I went over it again and fixed some small mistakes and tried to fix some of the spelling and grammar.

Seven thirty, and the kids weren't up yet. You finished Ash’s lunch and put it next to Trent's before heading down the hall and peeking into their room. They had half an hour to get up, get ready and get breakfast before the bus came. Not an impossible task for a five and seven year old. Both of whom were sprawled out over their beds and still lost to this world.

You let out a sigh and glance down the hall, their father's door was still shut and he was hopefully not going to stir until noon, no matter what noise you made.

Not that you would try, on the off chance that it did wake up the hungover bastard, better to deal with THAT after the kids went to school.

Stepping into their room you turned on their light, causing Ash to burrow their head under their pillow and groan. You couldn’t hold back a quiet chuckle as you moved forward to shake them lightly, by the time you had convinced them to join the land of the living Trent was already sitting up in bed.

“What's for breakfast…” They grumbled rubbing their eyes before looking at you.

Sure that Ash was not in danger of returning to sleep you turned towards them. Your first two fingers of each hand held out, the rest folded down you held them up before you moved them downward in a short sweeping motion away from each other before splaying your fingers and cupping your hands over each other, moving them in a short stirring motion.

***Scrambled eggs***

“Eggs are gross.” Ash whined slipping from bed and out of the door towards the bathroom. You and Trent shared a knowing look, to a grumpy five year old everything was gross.

You looked at Trent a moment longers, they were smart, they would puzzle out what you wanted if you waited long enough.

“Yeah yeah, I’ll help Ash get ready.” They groaned, picking out their outfit for the day.

You shot them a grin, and signed finger guns at them before pulling them back like they were a trigger and jerking your wrists upward.

***Quickly***

This earned you a loud raspberry as they stuck their tongue out at you and threw their sweater. You laughed quietly before heading back to the kitchen, dodging Ash on the way out of the bathroom.

Mornings were your favorite. It was quite and you tried to infect the kids with your love of learning and excitement for school. It was one of the few times you could pretend everything was alright.

You plate up the kids eggs and put down two slices of toast in the toaster. Ash was the first to stumble into the kitchen, dropping their bag by their chair and sitting at the table just as you added a fresh piece of toast to their plate.

“You're not going to eat with us?” They muttered with a mouth full of eggs before cramming their toast slice into their mouth. You shook your head as Trent came in.

“Did you already eat?” they watched your face, Ash was still young but Trent was learning how to read you, It was getting near impossible to lie to them.

So smiled and shook your head, the truth, before you slowly started to sign.

 ***I’ll eat after you go to school.*** It was a half truth, you would eat, probably something for lunch, if not that than you would eat dinner at least.

Trent looked at your face a moment longer before they started to tuck into his eggs and toast as well. You let out a breath you didn’t realize you had been holding before turning your attention to the dishes. It nearly killed you to lie to them, you hated it really but they were so young they didn’t need to know how bad things were, you had to protect them.

If that meant skipping breakfast so that there would be enough to have french toast tomorrow then so be it.

Not that you had ever been very big on breakfast, when you were still in school, still studying, you would usually get by till lunch on coffee and maybe a piece of toast.

Speaking of coffee you should start that before heading down to the bus stop, Jerry, their father was always a bit better if a fresh pot was waiting for him.

A good five or so minutes to spare before the bus even on your street the kids were rushing out the front of the building. They both froze for a moment and you looked up seeing what caught their eye.

A… goat woman was waiting at the stop, she was near seven feet tall and wearing a pretty flowered dress. With her was a kid, maybe a bit older than Ash, but younger looking than Trent. Their hair was in a bob and they wore an oversized striped sweater.

They made quite the adorable pair. The monsters had come out from under the mountain a little over a year ago, their was still a lot of hate and racism towards them but things were slowly starting to move in the right direction and it was becoming far more common to see monsters out and about.

Finished with their initial shock Trent and Ash took off towards them, leaving you stammering and rushing behind them hoping they didn’t do anything to terrible.

“Your new!”

“You're so tall!”

You caught up, giving the tall goat monster an apologetic look before tugging Trent and Ash around to face you. you quickly held your hands flat, moving them from side to side, before resting one on your chest and moving it in a short circular motion.

***Behave, Please.***

Trent shot you an insulted look, to which you repeated yourself. Finally you were snapped out of your scolding to the giggles of the goat woman.

“Oh dear, it's quite alright, It's normal for young ones to be so curious.” Her voice was kind and soft and filled you with warmth. You gave her another apologetic smile before Trent stepped forward.

“Are you the ones who just moved in on the third floor? We live on the fourth floor with our dad, I’m Trent, and this is Ash.” After a pause, and a small tap on the shoulder from you, Trent also introduced you.

“It's a pleasure to meet someone so full of energy so early in the morning. My name is Toriel and This is Frisk.” Your gaze fell down to the child again, They looked up at you and gave a shy smile before slowly signing.

***Hello, My name is Frisk.***

Than after a pause they added.

***You sign to?***

You grin and gave them a quick nod before kneeling down to be on their level as you signed your introduction over again.

***Its nice to meet you Frisk, are you excited for school?***

Before they could answer, though they looked a little nervous about it, Trent let out a whoop. “You can sign? Good, cause it's EXHAUSTING translating all the time.” They let out an exaggerated sigh and you stuck your tongue out at them.

They returned your immature gesture and Frisk let out a quiet giggle. You gave them a smile before standing up once more, your knees could only take so much of kneeling on the sidewalk.

Besides, the bus just turned the corner.

You ruffle Trent and Ash’s hair and give Frisk what you hope is a reasuring smile after Toriel releases them from a hug.As they climb up the steps you pretend not to notice that Toriel is a little bit teary eyed. You watch the bus go down the street together once it's out of view you both head back inside.

“It was a pleasure to meet you my child, and it's good to know that Frisk will have some neighbors and classmates that will understand them.” You nodded in agreement You had never been a very vocal child and you stopped talking all together sometime before middle school. Communication was hard for a while.

You catch her eye before slowly signing, unsure of the monsters proficiency.

***It was good to meet you to, We will look out for Frisk. Trent and Ash will be excited for someone to play with.***

You both step into the elevator and press the buttons for your respective floors.

“You and your siblings are welcome to visit anytime, Frisk and myself are to the left of the elevator, some friends are going to be renting out the room to the right, They’ll be moving in by the end of the week.” The floor dinged opening up to her floor. You smile and nod your understanding as she steps off. After a moment of thought you stop the doors from closing and reach out to catch her sleeve.

Once she has turned towards you your hands start to move.

***I can help with the moving if they need it, I’m here all day.***

She grins and nods. “I’m sure they will appreciate that, it will be good for us all to be friends, here let me give you my phone number so we can get a hold of each other.”

Ignoring the angry beeping of the elevator wanting to close its doors  you exchange phones and add each other as contacts. Finished you give her a short wave before the doors closed.

As you step out of the elevator there is a small pep to your step and a genuine smile on your face, this has been one of the nicest mornings you’ve had in a long time. Toriel seems like a genuinely sweet lady and Frisk is adorable. You pause at your door, taking in happy events of the morning you steel yourself, take a deep breath, and open the door.

“Whats with the stupid smile? Where have you been?” Jerry’s deep voice all but growled. It wasn’t a yell, more like an angry whisper.

He was still hung over.

And wearing the cloths he passed out in. Lovely.

“Well?” You gave him a shrug, you didn’t bother trying to sign, he only knew the basics and rarely used that knowledge. Signing would just make him angrier.

He glared at you a moment as you counted the tiles of the kitchen floor before he let out a sigh and turned his gaze back to his coffee.

“You get up and get the kids to school, but you can’t even brew a half decent cup of coffee.” He dumped his cup, and the remaining half a pot down the sink, no coffee for you then. “Your ma could make coffee, honestly I don’t know why I bother letting you stay here.” He shoved you as he passed, you hit the door jam hard but you didn’t let out a sound. You waited until you heard his door slam shut before rubbing your shoulder.

Your father had been a good man, ex military turned cop. You and your mother had loved him so much and he had been the one to teach you to sign, never made you feel like you were less of a person for not using your voice.

He died when you were in middle school and you and your mother had taken it hard. You buried yourself in school work and study, and your mother had buried herself in drugs and men.

Taking care of your younger siblings and her current husband is almost easy compared to taking care of your mother those first few years. You always counted it as lucky if she made it all the way home to pass out, after the first time one of her ‘boyfriends’ came into your room as a ‘mistake’ you invested in locks.

By the time you were graduating high school you had the police and the ER on speed dial and your mother had calmed down to some degree, keeping a boy for a few months instead of her previous revolving door lifestyle.

Through all of this you had managed to win yourself a scholarship. You were smart. Sure you were quiet, and didn’t speak, you didn’t have a lot of close friends, so you buried yourself in knowledge. Books didn’t judge your home life the same way other high school students would.

Your mother was heartbroken that you left, but by that time you were done, done with her neglect and her semi abusive boyfriends, done taking care of her. She forced you to grow up faster than you should have had to and now it was your time to spread your wings and find something you loved.

The day you left for college she screamed at you that you had better not expect any help from her. You found it almost funny, you hadn’t really expected much help from her in the last five years.

You floated between several majors starting out in physics before chickening out.  You had spent a year working towards mechanical engineering, and a summer flirting with earth sciences, and a semester you try not to think about where you played with a liberal arts degree.

Your scholarship had long run out but you made due with your work as a tutor and teacher's assistant. In the end, you returned to your first love, physics and had spent almost six years in college.

You were so SOOOO close to having your Master's degree, a few years after that you would have had a doctorate before you hit thirty. The teachers in the science department were talking about how you would go on to become one of the great minds of this century. You had been talking to your mother again who had cleaned up her act and grown close to your two younger siblings, Ash had just turned two. You had even grown close to a fellow student, neither of you wanted to call it dating, you were both too busy for that, but it was more than just a few heated nights in science lab 3.

Than everything came crashing down around you and you had to let your future slip through your fingers.

“Hey dumbshit, stop staring at the wall, if I have to repeat myself again you and the brats will be out on the street.” This time Jerry did yell, and it snapped you out of your thoughts in time to duck the book he had thrown at you. One of your books.

“I want dinner ready at 6, and stop feeding those kids so damn much do I LOOK like I’m made of money?” Your mother had married this man. Honestly, he had not seemed so bad at the time but he turned into a different person when he got to drinking.

After your mother ran away it was rare that he wasn’t drinking.

You nod your understanding. He growls and moves towards you, you back up until he has you pinned with your back to the fridge and he's grabbed the front of your baggy shirt to give you a shake.

“Your bitch of a mother ditched me with these two brats and I took you in out of the goodness of my heart. You owe me.” Jerry pushes you away and you stumble, catching yourself on the counter before you fell fully to the floor. “All I ask is that you keep this place spotless, Make me dinner, take care of those two mistakes. But you're to stupid to even get that right.”

You freeze your mind reeling trying to figure out what you had forgotten, your always so careful, and the kids know to be tidy. Franticly your eyes dart around the kitchen before they land on the plates in the sink.

There hadn’t been time to do them before taking the kids down and he had been up by the time you got back.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Slowly you inch towards the sink, keeping your eyes on him, well, on his chest, he didn’t like it if you made eye contact.

Now, you have no idea what your mom had seen in him. Once he might have been attractive. His hair was dark and wavy, he hadn’t lost any of it with age but now he barely bothered to shave, to you it just made him look crueler.

Especially when he sneered the way he was doing now.

“Looks like you're not as stupid as you pretend to be.” You glance up and offer him an apologetic smile before turning towards the sink.

This was a mistake, you didn’t see the hit coming.

It was a slap, but the back of his wedding ring cut into your cheek and you nearly fell to the floor as the left side of your face felt like it was on fire.

Something hot ran down your face and the bastard was cackling as he walked out of the kitchen. You steadied yourself on the sink, watching your blood drip into the dish water until you heard the front door slam shut.

You waited, it wouldn’t be the first time he decided he ‘forgot’ something.

Once you were sure he was gone you let a sob rake through your body, sinking to the floor and wrapping your arms around yourself.

It had been such a good morning, you had been the closest to happy you had been in a long time. But Jerry had to come and rip it all away. You scooted until your back was pressed into a corner and buried your face against your knees and let everything out while nobody could see you.

Now your mind was playing through the happy events of the day and the sick voice inside of you was laughing, taunting you with them before going back to the times before all of this, remembering what you had lost and what you had given up just so you could sit and rot in this pit. Be this mans punching bag so he wouldn’t touch Trent or Ash.

You don’t know how long you sat there your mind festering in your own self loathing before the buzzing of your phone pulled you out of it. Scrubbing your eyes with your sleeve you looked at your phone.

It was Toriel.

_*Hello Dear, I was wondering if you would like to come down for a slice of pie and some tea?_

You read it in her warm voice and your lips twitched into the semblance of a smile.

Steeling yourself you pulled yourself up off the kitchen floor and moved to the corner of the living room that housed your things. Today started out as a good day, and you were going to fight to keep it one.

Picking out a clean sweater and pair of leggings you finally texted Toriel back. 

_*I’d love to, I’ll be down in half an hour._

That would give you time for a hot shower and to tend to the cut on your cheek. Then you were going to have your good day.


	2. CHAPTER 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god guys. I'm like almost screaming because of how kind your responses have been! I may find what your reading slightly questionable but I can judge since I'm the one writing it.
> 
> Any here is the second Chapter, I'm trying to be better about catching my spelling and grammar mistakes so I'm sorry if I missed any.
> 
> Thank you all so much for all the comments, Kudo's and bookmarks! It makes me really happy (and slightly terrified).

Toriel bless her, she had been beside herself when she saw your bandaged cheek. After a quick explanation that it had been an accident the sweet goat monster had all but bullied you into letting her heal you.

Magic was… something else.

Toriel’s was warm and left a sweet taste in your mouth as it sunk into you. It left you feeling cared for. It was definitely something you could get addicted to if you weren't careful. The aspiring science nerd inside of you desperately wanted to know how magic worked but you figured you should let your friendship grow a bit more before playing twenty questions.

After the first afternoon pie and tea you found yourself down at Toriel’s and Frisks at least once a day. Be it a afternoon tea and pie session where you listened to Toriel talk about working towards her teaching degree and life in the underground, or visiting after school while Frisk and your pair of nuisances did there homework and played.

Frisk ended up being in Trent's class, and they had quickly decided they were pals, along with a monster kid named well… Monster Kid they were inseparable during school hours.

Your Good day turned into a mostly good week. Yeah Jerry was still there, but he was kind enough to keep his hits where you could hid them and with visiting Toriel and Frisk on a daily bases he hadn’t pushed you into a panic attack since Monday.

Now It was Friday, Jerry had left you with a bruised rib because you had the audacity to leave one of your books on the coffee table. You checked it in the mirror, it was rapidly blooming into an ugly purple. You took a deep breath and only felt a slight sting.

Nothing broken.

Satisfied you quickly dressed, you were never really one for fashion and since you’ve moved here… well your baggy comfortable cloths became a bit baggier. You selected something warm, it was the beginning of december after all and it was starting to get pretty cold. No snow yet but the kids woke up each day with a hopeful expression.

Just as you left the apartment your phone buzzed.

Toriel of course.

_*They are just parking the moving truck, feel free to meet us in the lobby when you are ready._

You were half way through texting her that you were on your way down when the Elevator door opened on the third floor.

You grinned as Toriel let out a startled laugh.

“Oh dear, don’t you look excited.”

You gave her a sheepish look before quickly signing away.

***New friends are always exciting.***

She laughed before nodding her agreement.

It wasn’t long before the elevator doors opened to chaos.

“JUST PUSH IT HARDER PAPYRUS.”

“I AM PUSHING UNDYNE BUT I DO NOT WISH TO DAMAGE MY COOL BED.”

“you could put a little more backbone into it bro.”

“GAWAAAAAH”

“SAAAANS”

Toriel was nearly besides herself with laughter, you had almost darted back into the elevator at the yelling but seeing the goat monster nearly in tears from laughing at the display you calmed most of your anxiety.

You still hid your shaking hands in your pocket as you looked at the chaos of the lobby.

A blue fish lady and a tall skeleton where both attempting to push and pull a race car bed through the doors. The skeleton… Papyrus if you heard correctly, was right, that was a pretty cool bed.

Meanwhile another skeleton… Sans you think was the name they yelled at him was watching, leaning against the wall with a big grin on his face. Ether hearing Toriel’s laughter, or feeling your eyes on him he glanced towards you and shot a wink in your direction.

Finally Torial calmed her laughter before putting on a serious face and clearing her throat. Once she had the attention of everyone in the room she spoke.

“Undyne, Papyrus. There's no need...” Her face broke into smile as she struggled to hold back a laugh, you caught Sans grin widen and a look of horror cross Papyrus’ face from the doorway. “TIBIA SO STERNUM!” She All but roared with laughter. Sans was chuckling and Undyne was laughing pretty hard as well. You couldn’t hold back anymore and were giggling with them.

You were pretty sure you could hear Papyrus’ exasperated screeching from outside.

After everyone had calmed down to a degree Toriel pulled you forward.

Papyrus and a little yellow lizard lady peared in around the wedged racecar bed and you swallowed your nerves as you waved your hello.

Toriel Introduced you and you offered them all a friendly grin. “They are one of our upstairs neighbors and they’re the one who I told you has offered to help you move in. One of their siblings is in Frisk’s class!”

Sans gave you a shrug and a “yo” as greeting and Papyrus looked like he was contemplating climbing over the bed in his desire to greet a new friend.

But your focus was quickly drawn to Undyne, she was tall, imposing and in all honestly looked like she bench pressed cars for fun. The fact that she moved in big violent movements and was very loud was not doing your anxiety any favors but you fought it down as she stopped a few feet infront of you, giving you the once over.

“So squirt, do you always offer to help strange monsters move?” She looked like she was judging you and you couldn’t help but shake. Did she really think you had ulterior motives? Taking a deep breath you glanced at Toriel and back to Undyne before holding up your hands and started to sign.

 ***Moving sucks, and new friends are exciting. I would just be reading or cleaning anyway.*** She stared at your hands a moment before her face split into a wide grin.

“JEEZ YA WIMP, I’m not going to eat you, you're shaking so bad I only got about half of that. You're alright.” She than pulled you into a one armed hug and ruffled your hair.

This must be how Trent and Ash felt all those times you ruffled theirs.

You let out a quiet and nervous laugh once Undyne released you and turned back to the stuck bed.

It was now unstuck and waiting on the inside of the doors.

Undyne let out a roar of laughter before charging it and picking it up by herself. It wasn’t long until she was all but running up the stairs with it. The Display seemed to snap Papyrus and the little yellow lizard out of their daze and soon Papyrus was charging forward catching one of your hands in his gloved ones.

He certainly had a strong grip for a skeleton, not that you’ve met many skeletons…

“HUMAN, I KNOW WE WILL BE THE BEST OF FRIENDS, FOR I THE GREAT PAPYRUS AM AN AMAZING FRIEND!” He pulled you into a tight hug, you bit back a squeal as his body armor pressed into your bruised ribs.

Finally releasing you he gave you a sorrowful look. “BUT FOR NOW I MUST GO MAKE SURE UNDYNE PLACES MY BED APPROPRIATELY.”

And with that he was racing up the stairs as well. The room suddenly felt a lot less crowded and the quite as nearly deafening. So much so that when the quiet voice of the little yellow lizard woman broke it you jumped slightly.

“O-oh, S-s-sorry! Um… I’m A-Alphys It's… n-nice to m-m-meet you.” She was stuttering and looked as nervous as you felt, you gave her a smile and waited till she glanced at you before you started signing.

***Its nice to meet you to.***

She seemed to brighten at that slightly and give you a small smile.

“Those two can be pretty intense… e-especially when they together.” She grinned.

You grin and sign again, it was exciting to have so many people that could understand you.

 ***They seem like pretty nice people. Loud, but cool.*** This earned you a quiet giggle that you couldn’t help but return.

“heh, yeah my bro is pretty cool.” the voice startled you,  mostly because it came from directly behind you.

You took a sharp breath of air and spun to see the short skeleton laughing at you. you clutched your chest and gave him what you hoped was a scathing glare and it only seemed to make him laugh harder.

“Chill buddy, Snow reason to be so jumpy.” His grin widened and he was watching you. You were frozen for a minute before you started to quietly giggle, covering your mouth to try and hide it. Alphys smiled and Toriel was chuckling as well. Once you got some semblance of control over yourself you finally managed to sign.

***That was bad.***

“You liked it.”

You shot him a look of mock offense before your face broke into a smile and your hands moved again.

***That doesn't mean it wasn’t bad.***

“BROTHER WE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE UNPACKING, NOT LOLLYGAGGING WITH OUR NEW FRIEND!”

“Yeah ya dweebs! And bab!” Undyne and Papyrus had returned and the giant fish woman promptly swept up the cute little pudgy lizard and planted a big loud kiss on her forehead, causing Alphys to turn several shades of red.

You flushed slightly and giggled at the almost sickenly cute display before you followed Papyrus and Toriel out to the truck to start unloading it. These new neighbors seemed like they would be pretty interesting.

Moving was for lack of a better word was interesting. Apparently Papyrus or Undyne had caught you wince a few times and you had been judged to weak to lift anything to heavy. So after the first hour you found yourself unpacking their kitchen for them. It was pretty fun actually. Papyrus or Undyne would occasionally shout something in passing Alphys came in to help/hide with you every now and again and as soon as the couch was up Sans didn’t seem to move.

You weren't sure how the couch got up. You were pretty sure that you would have heard Undyne and Papyrus fighting that thing up the stairs. A few other things just kind of appeared. Like the TV and the entire contents of Sans room. You chalked it up to him just being sneaky.

By the time the kids were due from school someone had ordered pizza and the truck was empty. Everyone seemed exhausted. Well, Papyrus and Undyne still seemed to have energy but they were both sitting in the relative quiet and eating. You were on the couch between Sans and Papyrus, Undyne was sitting criss cross on the floor with Alphys in her lap and Toriel had just gone down to pick up the kids. It was nice. Really nice, sure you were tired and your ribs hurt, but this had been an amazing day to end a pretty good week.

“SO HUMAN, WHAT DO YOU DO?” Papyrus only seemed to have two volumes, loud and louder.

You froze you must have looked slightly panicked because Papyrus looked like he was about to back out of his question. In the few hours you had known him you didn’t want to hurt the precious cinnamon roll of a skeleton so you plastered on a big smile and shrugged before starting to sign.

 ***I help Jerry take care of the kids, and take care of the apartment. I’m like a stay at home mom, without being a mom.*** You smiled and gave a small laugh.

“Where’s your mom?” That was Undyne. You shrugged again and gave another smile, you were at least used to this question. The kids still asked it every now and again.

She didn’t seem satisfied with your answer but she didn’t press it. You had hoped that your interrogation was over but you were not so lucky. After a minute of silence you were just about to finish your pizza slice when Alphys spoke.

“So is Jerry your dad?” This got a near violent head shake, the thought of comparing that man to your father was sickening, hell you hated thinking of him as the kid’s father. Your hands were moving before you had even finished denying it.

***Not my father, their father.***

“O-oh. So w-where’s your father.” She smiled, but it did nothing to fight off the icy chill that settled into you. Your smile faltered and griped you paper plate as you stared at your lap. It didn’t take long for the little lizard to realize your change in mood.

“O-oh, I’m s-s-sorry I d-d-didn’t mean t-to over step, I didn’t k-know.”

Taking a deep breath you shook your head.

***It's ok, you didn’t know. He’s gone. I miss him.***

You signed before looking up and offering a smile, not your best but none of these people knew you well enough to know when you were faking it. After a few moments she returned it.

“can blame us for wanting to get ta know ya kid. most humans won’t give us the time of day.” Sans spoke up from beside you sinking farther into the couch.

You looked at him for a long moment hands poised to apologize, you felt like you should. Sure you didn’t do anything to them, you liked them. But your people had and it was awful that the monsters had such a rough time. He must have been able to read it on your face because his grin widened again and he bumped his elbow against your side.

“man kid, don’t be so serious, i’m just ribbing ya.” Between Papyrus’ shout and Undyne’s groan Sans was probably the only one to notice you grab your side and gasp in pain, he had hit the bruise dead center.

“ya ok kid?” his voice was quite, clearly meant only for you. You didn’t know how to answer and as you chewed your lip and mulled it over you were spared from explaining by two voices shouting your name and three pairs of Stomping feet.

“Ms. Tori said there was pizza!” Ash bless them, was always a bottomless pit after a hard day at school.

“She said we had more new neighbors!” Trent at least had the decency to look at the four new monsters  before edging over to the pizza box.

They were followed up by Frisk who barreled straight into Papyrus.

Who seemed to be sobbing with joy. “OH FRISK WE WILL GET TO HAVE SO MUCH FUN NOW THAT WE ARE NEIGHBORS. THE FUN DARE I SAY WILL BE LIMITLESS!” He spun them  before cuddling them close Frisks hands were moving at light speed  but they were angled in a way that you could only catch snippets. It wasn’t meant for you anyway they and Papyrus were falling deep into a conversation about puzzles and spaghetti.

After a short introduction with everyone. Ash and Trent both got scooped up by Undyne and were in a fit of giggles. Trent clearly idolize the buff woman and Ash seemed to adore Alphys. The fun could not last forever however and it was your job, as the eldest to be the bad guy. Snapping your fingers you got both of their attention before signing.

***Homework.***

“Aww come on. We have like, ALL weekend.” Trent sighed.

***Homework.***

“If we do our homework can we have a sleep over at Frisks?” Ash questioned, their voice hopeful. You thought a moment before your eyes found Toriel’s and gave her a questioning look.

“I’m sure the children would enjoy having a slumber party! It will be a great way to end a week of school.” You smiled your thanks and your thoughts turned internal. It was friday, so Jerry wouldn’t be home until late. He likely wouldn’t notice, or even be awake before the kids returned home. Resolved you gave a short nod.

Before they got to excited you raised a finger causing them to pause and watch your hands with bated breath.

***But first, Homework.***

They groaned in unison and retrieved their bags from beside the door. Frisk joined them having homework of their own to get to work on and Toriel followed after them, you quickly signed your thanks. as she crossed the hall.

It took a moment for you to realize that everyone else was watching you. Unsure you glanced between the four before Undyne finally broke the silence.

“Geez you're such a mom!” She laughed and you shook your head joining in.

Thinking a minute you glanced at the four of them before your eyes landed on Sans and you started to sign. 

***Not to ruin the MOM-ent, but I should got their stuff together.***

It took them a moment, and you waited excitedly Sans was the first to get it and he started to laugh, pretty hard grabbing his gut.

“mom-ent, god kid, that was bad.” he wheezed. As it dawned on the other three and Papyrus buried his face in his hands you poked Sans in the shoulder to get his attention.

 ***You liked it*** You grinned.

He wiped a tear from his eye and grinned wider.

“HUMAN, EVEN THOUGH MY BROTHER HAS INFECTED YOU WITH HIS FOUL PUNNERY I STILL WISH TO BE YOUR FRIEND.” Papyrus smile seemed to grow slightly nervous as he held out his phone. “Would you perhaps like to exchange phone numbers?”

You grin and nod, exchanging phones. Undyne and Alphys decided to ‘get in on that’ as the fish woman declared loudly and at some point Sans had also nicked your phone because as you were finally out and an your way to the elevator you had four new contacts and a stupid grin on your face.

You hadn’t felt this warm and happy inside in a long time. Probably not since you dropped out of college. Your smile faltered slightly as you realize how long ago that was.

Shaking your head you banish those thoughts, things are good right now, no need to think about when they were bad. You have to focus on the good. Focus on your four new friends, the sweet goat woman and the cute little mute kid.

Focus on Trent and Ash.

You touch the doorknob and take a breath listening. You hear a very muffled sound from below that causes you to smile, but inside was silent. The door was still locked.

You were half way through your mental list of what you need to pack for the kids when your phone buzzed. You were expecting Toriel but when you checked it was sans.

Well… it was a text from ‘your sans-sational new neighbor.’ You took a moment to appreciate it, really let it sink in before you changed his contact name to ‘bonehead’.

That done you read the text.

_*hey_

You snorted, not sure what you expected, sitting on Trents bed, and dropping the overnight bag on the floor you texted him back.

_*Hey._

_*so when tori said upstairs neighbors?_

_*Directly above you guys. I can jump in the living room if you want proof?_

_*nah_

_*Suit yourself._

Your phone went quiet for a time and you started packing the kids sleep clothing and a change for morning before you moved to the bathroom and packed up their toothbrushes. Finished you set them by the door and surveyed the apartment.

It was neat and almost spotless, your books were safely hidden away in one of your boxes, all three of which were stacked neatly in a corner. Jerry had thrown a fit when you had tried to unpack, so you just kinda… lived out of the boxes, and appropriated a section of the kid’s closet.

The kitchen was spotless a quick glance in the fridge told you that you would have to ask Jerry for grocery money, maybe you could do that when the kids were visiting Toriel and Frisk… Just in case.

Bathroom and the kids room were in order, Jerry’s room was… something. It was where you drew the line, you refused to go in there. It wasn’t that it was terribly messy, it just gave you a bad feeling and if Jerry was home you wouldn’t go farther down the hall than the kids bedroom.  Everything was perfect, how he liked it. He couldn’t possibly find something to complain about.

But he would. Deep down you knew he always would find some excuse or another to hit you. You slip a hand under your baggy shirt and touch the tender spot on your ribs. Maybe helping them move was a bad idea, but you wouldn’t trade it for the world, besides, you’ve had worse than an ugly bruise.

Your phone buzzed and you smiled picking up the kids bags and checking the message.

_*so.. want to tell me why ya nearly doubled over in pain when I touched your side?_

Crap.

_*You hit my funny bone?_

_*not going to drop it kid_

Double crap.

_*You hit a bruise, I fell out of bed this morning._

There was a long pause and you prayed he dropped it, you were a little surprised, Sans didn’t seem like the knight in shining armor type. That was literally his brother with his chest plate. As you waited for the elevator to arrive you let out a breath hopeing that he’s finally dropped it. 

Maybe to soon because your phone buzzed again. Nervously you picked it up.

_*it's a little too early to be falling for me don’t you think?_

You snorted and flushed slightly. Was he seriously flirting.

_*Right, I fell for you before I even met you. Bonehead._

_*excuse you, i do not find that humorus_

_*Someones telling a Fibia._

The Elevator opened on floor free just in time to hear Papyrus shreek. “BROTHER STOP THIS AT ONCE.”

“aww, come on bro, it's punny.”

“SAAANS”

You giggle and wave at them through their open door before turning towards Toriel’s and knocking on her door. Your new neighbors… Your new friends were certainly entertaining.


	3. CHAPTER 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is screaming an emotion? Because with how nice you guy's have been to me I am besides myself. Thank you all so much!
> 
> That said this chapter gets a bit well... Jerry.

Jerry didn’t come home until very late, probably an hour after last call. He had slammed the door loud enough that it woke you up but you didn’t move, you did your best to pretend to be asleep and pray he didn’t notice you. He stumbled and slurred something before he headed down the hall and slammed his door.

Looks like it worked this time.

You took several deep breaths trying to calm yourself down enough to fall back asleep. You dozed for an hour, in a half sleep state before giving up and checking your phone. It was four in the morning.

Accepting your fate to be drowsy for the rest of the day you got up and pulled on a coat over your PJs and slipped into a pair of boots.

A trip around the block might settle your nerves enough to go back to sleep, and with the kids downstairs you wouldn’t have to worry about leaving them alone with drunk Jerry.

The weekend flew by and was still riding on the joy of making new friends during the week. You were back and forth between your apartment and the third floor more times than you could count. Jerry seemed content that the kids were out of the house and not bothering him, Toriel was her sweet self, the kids were happy playing with Frisk and the skeleton brothers. Papyrus practically bounced and had something to show you whenever you went down to check on the kids.

Sans was around. But he popped in and out a lot. For a guy who called himself lazy he sure had a lot of part time jobs he was coming from and going to. The times you did cross paths he was all grins and jokes.

He texted you a lot. After being grilled about your ribs he would text you just to say hey, or send you a joke or some pun. It did wonders to keep your mood up and it didn’t take long for you to start texting him little jokes back.

All good things must come to an end and as Jerry came storming through the door his eyes practically on fire sunday evening you realized that this was probably where the good times ended.

“DID YOU KNOW THAT RETARD OF A SUPER LET MONSTERS MOVE IN HERE?” Jerry all but screamed, you hoped he wasn’t so loud that the mentioned monsters could hear him down stairs.

“Freaking loads of them! There was a big ass goat thing downstairs, disgusting!” Your stomach churned with the way he talked about Toriel but all you did was back up until your back hit the wall and stare at the floor.

Jerry kicked the coffee table over and ranted to himself for a few minutes before he seemed to put two and two together.  “Trent and Ash are down there hanging out with that monster trash aren't they?” His voice was quiet and that was bad.

You didn’t answer, you just wrapped your arms in on yourself and waited.

It didn’t take long for Jerry to take your silence for what it was, an admission. “Why you little BITCH. You're just like your fucking mother, I bet she’s a monster lover to!” He swung and you ducked, he grabbed your hair and threw you on the ground.

You felt your nose crunch and let out a whimper. You didn’t need to look to know he was grinning. A sharp kick to your bruised ribs and you nearly bit through your lip to hold back the cry. There was blood in your mouth and tears were running hot down your face as he kicked you again.

Finally he stopped, glaring down at you, you didn’t move and finally he waved at the floor. “Clean up this fucking mess you made, I’m going to go give the super a piece of my mind.”

You barely held it until the door slammed shut and than you were sobbing. You couldn’t even curl in on yourself properly, it hurt to much. You were shaking so hard it took you a few tries to get up, your mind playing his last orders over and over in your mind you scrambled for something, anything to wipe up the blood. You settled for your sweater sleeve as you scrubbed hard at the floor.

It just kept getting worse and worse and you finally realized that your broken nose was still bleeding you pulled yourself up onto your feet you had to catch yourself on the wall and winced as you saw the streak of blood you left.

By the time you made it to the bathroom you finally registered that your phone was blowing up. You were leaning over the edge of the sink holding a wad of paper to your bleeding face and trying to get control of your breathing.

You fumbled for your phone and nearly dropped it. They were all from Sans. Shit, they probably heard everything.

_*hey_

_*hey_

_*hey_

_*you ok? heard yelling and had paps take the kids out for some nice cream_

_*answer me kid_

You took another shaky breath before you typed back.

_*I’m fine._

He replied almost instantly.

_*prove it kid. i’m coming up._

Shit. Shit. Shit.

Your panic is back full swing as you realize what this is going to look like. Hell this sweater was probably ruined now that you’ve ground blood into the sleeves and dribbled it all down the front. Checking your nose it's slowed down to a sluggish drool and you stopper it with clean paper before pulling off your dirty sweater.

You almost scream as you jostle your very much broken ribs.

Left in a dark tank top and clutching your side you hobble to the kitchen and grab the paper towels and cleaner before sinking to the floor. Your only train of thought is how you got to clean this all up before Sans sees, before Jerry gets back.

Your scrubbing at the floor again bite back a sob when you hear the knock on the door.

“let me in kid.” Sans deep voice came muffled threw the door.

You don’t answer, but you double your efforts, if your quick maybe you can finish the floor and maybe he won’t notice the wall.

“now kid.” He sounded a bit more stern but you still didn’t move.

Almost, just a little… why does this stupid spot keep coming back. Shit you're bleeding again, your nose? No, crap you forgot about your lip.

“i’m coming in.”

You freeze and watch the blood from your lip drip on the floor, it's joined by clear drops as you start to cry again. Your shaking as you hear the door creak open and you try to hid your face. You don’t want anyone to see you like this. You're not right, your broken, people aren't supposed to see you like this.

There was a sharp intake of breath and you heard several quite steps before his house slippers came into view. “...kid.”

his voice was so quiet, but you flinched anyway maybe if you ignored him, ignored all of this it would all go away.

He kneeled down infront of you, close enough to be seen but far enough not to pressure you. “... i’m not an expert on fine… but i’m pretty sure this ain’t it.”

That was all it took, you let out another dry sob and started to scrub at the floor again, not caring that you weren't doing much more than smearing it all around. Your breaths were short and painful, each one aggravating your ribs. For a moment you fell into your focus again, forgetting he was there, that he could see you.

Boney fingers pulled the rag from your hand and another set tilted your head to face him. You shook and felt fresh hot tears run down your face. You thought you might have seen a flash of anger in his eyes but it was quickly replaced with his ever present calm.

“breath with me buddy.” Was all he said before taking a long slow deep breath. You tried to follow but your ribs had you doubling over in pain and crying out.

There was that flash again, as you clutched your side, but he shuffled it away and placed his hand over yours. He didn’t say anything simply coached your breathing for what felt like hours but was really only a few minutes.

Once you were calmer you realized the stupidity of what you had been doing, and how this all must look like… well exactly what it was.

Scrubbing away your fresh tears you start to sign only to have him grab your hands. “buddy… we both know you didn’t fall down so save the lie.” his voice was still quite but there was a touch of darkness to it now… and maybe understanding.

“i heard enough to put two and two together. i maybe be a lazybones but i’m clever.” you sigh and give a little nod. He gives your hands another squeeze before letting them go. You hesitate a moment before you slowly start to sign.

***Sorry you had to hear that. Sorry you had to see me like this. You should go, he’ll be back. I  have to clean up before he comes back.***

You could practically hear his teeth grinding together as his grin strained. “not happening kid.” he stood and then pulled you up with him. He had you halfway to the door before you froze and dug your heels in. He turned to face you, giving you a long look, simply waiting.

***Kids can’t see me like this.***

You didn’t just mean all beat up, Trent would freak out if they saw how much weight you’ve lost and the bruises. Pulling your hand away you hobbled over to your boxes, Sans close behind you looking like he was about ready to force you out of the apartment if he had to.

“Papyrus is under instructions not to come back with the kids until me or Tori give the ok.”

You grab the first sweater you touched, a dark blue one with little stars on the front, before letting him lead you out of the house. He's holding your arm and you're trying to focus on his grip rather than the pain in your face or your side. There is an odd pulling sensation that has you almost feeling sick but you're only pulled out of your daze when you hear Toriel’s sharp intake of breath. You shoot Sans a startled look and he grins at you, patting your arm once before letting you go. “we took a shortcut.”

“Child what happened? Sit down and let me heal you.” You shoot Sans a slightly panicked look as Toriel lead you to a chair, you didn’t want to tell Toriel, hell you weren't entirely sure how you felt about Sans knowing. You were still a little strung out from your panic attack and were in no place to have THIS discussion.

“Kid tripped and fell after their of a step dad had his temper tantrum.” He shot you a wink. Looks like you were spared from telling Toriel, but you doubted you were off the hook yet. It didn’t take long before Toriels magic was sinking into you, healing your lip and the broken cartilage in your nose, she made you lift your shirt as she inspected your side. You shot a worried glance between her and Sans.

“I can heal the bruising but we’ll need Papyrus to heal the bones.” It didn’t surprise you that Papyrus had an affinity for healing but you couldn’t help the panic that crossed your face, at yet another person seeing you like this.

“Dear, why don’t the three of you have dinner with us tonight?” It wasn’t a request. “I’m sure Trent and Ash would love to help Frisk and myself cook.

You nod numbly and fiddle with your sweater. They watch you a moment before Toriel helps you pull it over your head. You thank Toriel and head over to the brothers apartment. You both sink into the couch while you wait for Papyrus to return.

The silence is heavy and you feel Sans eyes on you. Your mostly calm now, well as calm as you can be with a pair of broken ribs digging into your side.

Waiting is starting to irritate you. You know it's coming. He’s going to want to know why you put up with it, why you don’t report him and a list of questions you ask yourself almost every day. finally you turn to him and sign, unable to take the wait any longer.

***Go on, say it.***

He looks at your hands for a long moment before his his eyes slowly travel up to your face. his grin widens and god do you want to figure out how a skeleton has facial expressions, but now is not the time.

“it.”  

You stare at him a long moment trying to figure out what just happened before you glare… and smile, but just a little.

It was enough to get him to chuckle.

Pouting you signed in short jerky motions.

***Not funny***

“you smiled.” he raised his eyebrow? eyesocket? at you. You must have been staring because he laughs again.

“man buddy, the way you're staring i can’t tell if you want to jump my bones or see what's inside them.”

You flush slightly and look away signing a quick apology. That sent him laughing again. The silence was comfortable now and you soaked in as much of the calm as you could. With a sigh you lean forward, wincing as your ribs shifted as you caught Sans attention.

***You're not going to make me talk about this?***

“do you want to talk about it?”

That gave you pause and after a moment you shook your head no.

“look kid. you seem smart, i figure that whatever reason you got for putting up with that? its gotta be pretty good and nothing i say can really convince you otherwise. if you want to talk about it i’m here, we’re friends.” He said it so matter of factly but you couldn’t help but believe it.

You offered him a smile and signed your thanks.

Before you could say anything else the door slammed open causing you to jump and clutch your side.

“I THE GREAT PAPYRUS HAVE RE-” He stopped, catching sight of you clutching your ribs and unable to hide the pain on your face. He studied you for a moment before he quietly shut the door and approached you.

“Friend...I did not mean to startle you. Sans mentioned you fell and did not wish to alarm your siblings?” His voice was probably the closest he ever got to a whisper, it was about the same level as a normal speaking voice and it was filled with concern.

You nodded as you uncurled yourself gesturing to your injured side. Papyrus hummed lightly, his fingers soft and his brow furrowed in concentration. You didn’t realize he could get like this, it was far from the loud fun loving overgrown kid you were getting used to.

You gasped slightly as you felt your ribs shift. His magic was warm like Toriels, but also fizzy and bubbly, much like the skeleton, you probably would have enjoyed the odd sensation if your eyes weren't watering from the pain of your shifting ribs.

“I’m sorry human, I have to move them back into place.” He didn’t pause or falter in his work, and was still focused on the healing.

After sucking in a breath you gave him a nod of understanding before fisting your hands in your sweater and trying to will it over faster.

It only took a few minutes and once he was finished you took a deep breath. No pain. Grinning you looked up at Papyrus and signed your thanks.

***Thank you for healing me, and for watching the kids.You are really great!***

Papyrus blushed, skeletons blush? Skeletons blush in shades of orange? Well, monster skeletons. But how? You shook off your thoughts turned your focus back to him, he was stammering and rubbing the back of his skull as he spoke.

“OF COURSE I AM GREAT HUMAN! BUT I AM GLAD THAT YOU RECOGNIZE MY GREATNESS. YOU TO ARE GREAT IN YOUR OWN WAY!” He laughed and struck a pose. You could have sworn he was practically sparkling.

“I SHALL GO ASSIST FRISK AND HER MAJESTY WITH DINNER PREPARATIONS.” And with that he was bounding out of the room once more.

You made a mental note to ask one of them what the ‘her majesty’ thing was about before standing yourself, giving a few experimental twists to see if you were truly healed.

“hey buddy?” Sans had been so quiet you had almost forgotten he was there. You turned and looked at him. He looked almost troubled for a moment before his grin shifted.

“you ah, and the kids are safe right?” You sigh and sink back down into the couch. It looked like you weren't getting away without a little explaining. Taking a deep breath you shook out your hands before you started signing.

***Yes. He doesn't hit them. He is good in front of them. Mostly. This is the worst he’s done in a while. Most the time he just yells, sometimes hits.***

“and you're stuck.” It wasn’t a question, but you gave a short nod before signing again.

***I’m afraid to leave him alone with the kids. I could press charges but then they would go to child services, maybe get separated. I’ve tried looking into it, It would be pretty unlikely for me to get custody. I’ve tried to talk to my mom…***

You left it at that and gave a small shrug. You waited for the questions to come but they didn’t. After a moment you felt a bony hand touch your cheek. You didn’t realize you had started crying again.

You shot him an apologetic smile before wiping your face on your sleeve.

***I’ll be ok. The kids will be ok. Thank you for worrying about us.***

He looked a little flustered, and… was that a blue tinge to his cheeks? It was gone before you could decide and he was laughing again. How did he close his eye sockets like that anyway, would it be rude to ask?

“hey kid don’t worry about it. no need for the conversation to get heavy, i’m already big boned as it is.” He patted his gut and you added that to your list of how does it work.

At this rate if you ever went back to college you were going to swap majors to monster biology.

Laughing you stood, tugging him up with you as you both headed across the hall to Frisk’s and Toriel’s.

Jerry would probably be out drinking until late, complaining to his friends about the monsters in the building. You had time, It would be ok, it was alright for you and the kids to spend this time with your new friends.

Maybe if you kept repeating that to yourself you would believe it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry. I'm a bad person for being so mean and beating up poor Reader. Things will get better for them I promise... eventually.


	4. CHAPTER 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So much love for all of you! I'm such a nerd for all your comments and I'm so happy you put up with me through my Reader abuse. Lets have a Chapter with significantly less Jerry.
> 
> (There may not be a post tomorrow, as I might not be able to get on the interwebz. On the off chance that there is no post see you all on Monday!)

Jerry didn’t come home that night, you had snuck out shortly after dinner to clean up and set the apartment back in order before he or the kids showed up. It didn’t look like he had been back so you were in the clear.

At least you had managed to roll him for grocery money the day before his temper tantrum.

Part of you were terrified he would find out you went grocery shopping with Toriel and Papyrus that following Monday since it was the knowledge of their new monster neighbors that set him off.

But part of you was ecstatic to have friends to do mundane things like this, it's been… well to long since you’ve had people like this. Even if one of the people was put off by the lack of snails at your local grocer and the other nearly cleaned out the pasta section.

Jerry didn’t come back Monday ether. It wasn’t uncommon. Sometimes he would go home with a fluzy and you were pretty sure he had some kind of relationship… thing. He would come home in clean cloths sometimes. You didn’t mind, better he stay with them and let you and the kids try and have a life.

It was Wednesday when he returned.

With Christmas fast approaching you and the kids had been putting up lights and a small plastic tree in the living room. They were overjoyed and had plans to go down and help the monsters decorate once the three of you had finished.

You had even felt good enough with the lack of Jerry in your life to bake Christmas cookies and fill out a few job applications. It would be hard but as many times as Jerry screamed at you to get a job and stop being a lazy bum he couldn’t complain about this.

Trent was holding up Ash to put the star on the tree and you pulled out the last tray of cookies when the door opened.

“Hey kids! Ya miss your daddy?” You froze almost dropping your cookies before managed to get them to the table.

He seemed sober… ish. He was in one of these moods. He would go back and forth from ignoring Trent and Ash completely to spoiling them rotten and trying to be the cool dad. You glanced at the kids and Trent seemed a little apprehensive but Ash threw their arms in the air and ran to Jerry with a squeal

“DADDY! I Missed you! We wrote letters to Santa yesterday in class!” They hugged his leg and he laughed. You tried to relax, at least outwardly. He wouldn’t hit the kids. They were HIS kids. You were just that tag along brat who came with the wife who ran out on him.

Trent finally approached and gave their dad a hug as well. “Has work been busy?” they questioned? ‘work.’ that's what Jerry would tell the kids whenever he didn’t come home, his excuse was always work.

“Yup, we have been super busy.” It was a lie. His eyes narrowed on you as if daring you to call him on it. After a moment they widened, confusion, and then a flash of anger before he put his sickeningly sweet mask back on and dropped his bags on the table.

“Looking good kiddo, what's for dinner? Cookies?” He laughed, it was dry and humorless, it wasn't a compliment he was commenting on your lack of bruising and you knew it. You gave him a shrug and turned away from his searching gaze. You knew he was still looking for the marks from where he hit you, YOU weren't going to be the one to tell him that the kindly monsters had patched you up.

It wasn’t like you could afford to go to the hospital anyway.

“Well?” Damn… he wanted an answer.

Finding Trent's eyes you started to slowly sign while he translated.

***Breakfast for dinner. Potatoes, eggs, and Sausages.***

Jerry looked at you while he sucked his lip before grinning down at the kids. “Well, that sounds boring. Good thing I ordered pizza!” Ash and Trent laughed before they ran back into the living room to finish dressing the tree.

Jerry looked at you long and hard before following after them.

You let out a sigh and went back to your cookies.

The rest of the week was like that. Jerry would come in and be the fun cool dad who brought presents and junkfood. Trent and Ash were so happy to have their dad hanging out with them and you were near besides yourself with worry. He was buttering them up for something big, you just knew it.

It wasn’t all bad though. The kids were on Christmas break and the three of you spent most of the day downstairs while Jerry was at work. You and Toriel had been trading a few holiday recipes and Papyrus had roped you all into a cooking lesson with Undyne.

That had been… Something.

At least Trent and Ash had enjoyed it, Frisk had clearly been to one of these lessons before and managed to avoid the splash zone.

You caught Toriel, and even Papyrus giving you worried glances a few times. They tried to hid it and you tried to not let it bother you. Everything was fine right now. Jerry was being halfway decent and keeping himself to veiled insults and dirty looks.

They had the decency to at least try and hid their glances.

Sans would stare at you outright.

But then he knew more than the others. They hadn’t seen you… like that. It would have been so easy to be angry with him if he had been looking at you with disgust or pity but you couldn’t really put a name to those searching looks he would give you and if you returned his stare he would just laugh it off and toss out a joke.

It felt… different to have someone who knew.

It was nice to have so many people to text as well. You had finally reached you curiosity capacity and started to ask them questions about magic, and how they functioned. Surprisingly, well surprising at the time Alphys had been the one who stepped forward to explain a lot of it.

That's how you found out she was actually a scientist. A nerdy, adorable weebo with a PhD. Who was currently trying to explain to you how magic to energy conversion worked, via text message with lots of cat emojis. Needless to say it had been next to impossible to decipher and you asked her if you could borrow a book about it when she visited next.

The whole conversation had started when you asked where food and drink went in monsters like Sans and Papyrus.

You placed the last of the little holiday skeleton sugar cookies you and the kids had made into the container and stacked it onto another tupperware with more traditional Christmas cookies for Toriel and Frisk.

You were just about to check on the kids when a shriek came from their room.

“SNOW IT'S SNOWING!” Ash Squealed. before running out of their room and tackling your knees.

“Can we go outside! Can we go get Frisk and Paps and Build snowmen? Can we?!” You were laughing your quiet laugh and covering your mouth. You were glad that Jerry had already left for work else he would have been out and yelling, good mood or no.

You were about to start signing when Trent stumbled out, trying to pull up their snow pants and put on their boots at the same time. “It's Snowing!”

That started your laughter again. You remembered what it was like to get so excited over the first snow. Calming yourself your started to sign.

***We have to ask Papyrus and Frisk-***

Your phone started to ring. Nobody ever called you for well… obvious reasons. Looking at the screen you saw who it was.

Incoming call from ‘THE GREAT PAPYRUS’.

Stifling your laughter once more you answered the phone and held it to your ear.

“HUMAN, MYSELF AND FRISK REQUEST THE ASSISTANCE OF YOUR SIBLINGS IN BUILDING A SNOW FORT.” You nearly dropped your phone as your sure you heard his voice echoing from the floor below.

Laughing you held the phone out to Ash and give them a quick nod. They are practically beaming when they respond. “THEY SAY YES!”

“SEE YOU SOON! NYEH HEH HEH!” Click.

Almost throwing your phone at you they run back to their room to get their own snow gear on. During the call Trent had finished dressing and followed after them.

Shaking your head you move over to your boxes of belongings, selecting a snow appropriate outfit to change into. Dark gray fleece leggings and a long sweater. It was an ugly one with a Christmas tree and several little ornaments, you loved it. Over it all you wrapped up in your winter coat and a fluffy scarf.

You didn’t need to be nearly as waterproof as the kids did.

Grabbing the two containers of cookies the kids practically herded you down to the third floor. Frisk was already bundled up and waiting, bouncing on the balls of there feet. once you exited the elevator they ran up and gave you a hug.

Balancing the containers in one hand you ruffled their hair, earning yourself a very cute pout before you handed them the container of cookies. Tucking the other container under your arm you started to sign.

***For you, and Toriel.***

They peaked inside before grinning and signing their thanks and turning on their heals, quickly running back into their apartment, your siblings hot on their heels.

Laughing you practically ran into Papyrus on his way out.

He was wearing, well what he wore pretty much every day. What he called his battle body. You don’t think it looks particularly warm however.

***Won't you be cold?*** You question startling a NYEH out of him once he noticed you.

“WORRY NOT HUMAN, I THE GREAT PAPYRUS DO NOT GET COLD. FOR I HAVE NO SKIN.” He posed dramatically and it sent you into giggles.

“HAVE YOU AND YOUR SIBLINGS COME TO PLAY WITH US IN THE SNOW?”

You nod before handing him the container of cookies.

***For you and Sans***

He opened it and looked positively stumped, a light orange flush dusting his cheeks… well, cheekbones.

You and the kids had worked really hard on them, digging out some of the Halloween cookie cutters for the event. All the cookies were bone or skeleton themed, the frosting decorating them with Santa hats and other festive designs.

Finally Papyrus let out his breath. “OH FRIEND THESE ARE BEAUTIFUL!” Before you knew it you were pulled into a hug. This has happened enough times by now that you only stiffen slightly before relax and hug him back, Papyrus was a very physical and loud friend, but you were slowly getting used to it.

Releasing you he admired the cookies once more before turning back into his apartment. “SANS COME SEE WHAT OUR HUMAN FRIENDS MADE FOR US!”

“what's up bro?” That was directly behind you and you jumped, spinning to shoot Sans a glare. The jerk was giggling at you.

Papyrus didn’t seemed fazed in the slightest and turned back to face you… and now Sans. “THEY MADE US FESTIVE BONE COOKIES!”

He peered into the container, picking one up and taking a bite, You weren't sure how cause you were pretty sure you didn’t see him open his mouth. “wow kid, these are pretty good. didn’t know you were so carpal-able.”

He shot you an exaggerated wink and you started to giggle. It took Papyrus a minute to register the horrible pun and clutch the cookies to his chest defensively as he shrieked and stormed back into the apartment.

Sans had finished his cookie and you grinned. Excited you waited until his eyes were focused on your hands.

***Patella me, Are you going to play in the snow to?*** You waited as he mouthed with your hand movements before he bursts out into laughter.

“hey, bone puns are my thing.” He was still laughing but shook his head. “Nah, I got work.”

You gave him an exaggerated look up and down, he was wearing his poofy jacket, gym shorts and house slippers. Not really what you would call work garb. Returning your gaze to his face he raised his brow at you. You returned it with one of your own, tilting your head in a question.

“That's the bone-a-fide truth. I’m not being lazybones today.” You laugh and shake your head.

***If you keep that up Paps will have a bone to pick with you.***

This got him laughing again. “nah, paps loves it.”

“I DO NOT, NOW GO TO WORK WE HAVE A DAY OF WINTER MERRIMENT AHEAD OF US! NO PUNS INCLUDED” The taller skeleton returned glaring down at his brother, and trying very hard not to smile.

“later bro, later kid.” You turn to say goodbye but Sans has already disappeared.

Before you could puzzle out his disappearing act the kids have returned and the three of them are racing Papyrus down the stairs. Laughing you follow after them.

There had been a good eight inches of snowfall and it was still floating down. The streets were pretty much empty and left for the neighborhood kids to take over. Papyrus, Frisk, Ash and Trent did indeed build an amazing snow fort. They were joined by some older kids from your building and sometime during the afternoon the kids that lived in the building across the street had built a fort of their own.

The logical conclusion was an all out snowball war for neighborhood bragging rights. Papyrus was out in the thick of it, partially making sure everyone played nicely and partly being everyone's favorite target. There were even a few monster kids in the mix. You sat on the stairs and enjoyed the show, wrapping your arms around your legs for warmth as you watched the screaming and giggling mass of children.

You let out a wistful sigh. Nothing like the first big snow to bring everyone together. There were even a few parents out now with snow shovels, piling up the snow to make a little hill to sled  down. Some kind of ice elemental monster was helping them.

“man, that's really something.” You jump, but only just, you didn’t want to move to much and let out your warmth. Sans just chuckled and sank down to sit on the step next to you, he had two paper cups with steam rising out of them and handed one to you.

You took it and looked at him, waiting for him to elaborate on his statement.

He took a sip of his own cup before shrugging. “a year ago most people wanted to shove us back under the mountain. now they are playing together.”

You nodded and looked back. One of the teens from your building picked up the little ice monster who squealed something about being careful of his hat before sliding down the freshly made hill sending the two of them skidding down the sidewalk in a fit of giggles.

You smile as you watch this, it's stupidly cute. Its how it should be, everyone working together to have a fun time. You take a sip of your drink, eyebrows rising. It was tomato soup.

Setting it down you turned to get Sam's attention, first signing your thanks before making your statement.

***Holiday season brings everyone together. This-*** You stop to gesture to the street turned snowball war-zone/winter wonderland. ***Is how it should be, monsters and humans working together. Having fun.***

He looked thoughtful before you were both distracted by a loud NYEH HEH HEH. Papyrus had one of your siblings under each arm and Frisk around their neck as he ran for the safety of the snow fort under rain of snowball fire.

Sans chuckled and took a drink of his own soup. “Working together to wage war on my brother?”

You laugh and shake your head before remembering something from early. Steeling yourself you strip off your glove and pull out your phone, flicking through the pictures before finding the one you wanted.

It was Papyrus, with one of the teens from your building and a Bird/lizard monster teen from down the street. Papyrus was looking scandalized as the teens had gotten two big snowballs to stick to his chestplate, giving the skeleton a pair of frozen boobs.

Sans practically roared with laughter. It took him a few minutes to get ahold of himself. You took the time to scroll to the next image, where Papyrus had decided to ignore his frigid bosom in favor of posing dramatically mid speech.

That had Sans going off again. You sent both pictures to his phone and took another drink of the soup. You two sat in silence for a while drinking and watching the antics. After about ten minutes you nudged him with your elbow and glanced over.

***Off work?***

“nah, just on break. i can chill with you a bit longer i know a shortcut back, snow problem.” He grinned. Well, he always grinned, but he grinned bigger. You returned the smile and took another drink.

The snow fight had died down and several kids had started building snowmen. It was cold but the air had that quite muffled quality that snow always brought with it, this was nice.

Sans nudged you before standing up, he gave you a short wave before trudging back down the sidewalk. You watched him leave finish the last of your warm soup with a smile. It was nice to be near friends again.

You wondered if you should contact any of your old friends from college… maybe send a christmas greeting to some of the professors you had been close to. Your smile grows a little nervous. It's been so long… would they even remember you.

“Whats with that dumb face your making at that monster trash?” Your startled out of your thoughts to find Jerry, His voice was quiet but loud enough for some of the nearby loitering parents to hear.

You shrug, clutching your empty cup and shrink back a little.

Jerry sneers and opens his mouth, likely to say something awful.

But he was stopped by a pair of happy squeals.

“DAD!”

“DADDY!”

Trent and Ash Came running up, looking soaked to the bone and exhausted, big grins plastered over their faces. Papyrus and Frisk close behind them.

Oh, no.

“Daddy! These our are friends! Papyrus and Frisk.”

Oh, no no no.

You shoot Papyrus a worried look, He knew Jerry was racist, you didn’t think he knew that Jerry was the one who roughed you up. Regardless Papyrus grinned cheerfully, extending his hand in greeting.

Jerry just stared at it. “Huh, you two have been keeping some freaky friends.” He gave a dry chuckle before turning back to his kids.

Papyrus looked a little deflated and you tried to discreetly sign an apology.

“Hows about, just the three of us go out to dinner!” He squatted down to be at eye level with them. “It will be a special treat for the family!”

Ash squealed and started listing off places they wanted to go Trent grinned before there smile faltered slightly. “They aren't coming?” Trent looked from you to his father.

“Nope, It will be a special treat for just OUR family, they can come some other time.” His voice was stretched and he shoot you a look as if daring you to argue, you started to shake lightly, gripping your cup so hard that the lid popped off. When Trent looked at you again you shook your head slightly.

“Okay.” Trent finally responded. Jerry lead the kids inside, sending you one last sneer and glaring at Papyrus before shutting the door.

You rock back and forth slightly, you need to get inside, you wanted to be alone or at least away from prying eyes. You didn’t want to let Jerry take the kids away to god knows where.

“Friend?” A big gloved hand landed on your shoulder and you looked up, Frisk and Papyrus were watching you and once your eyes were on them Frisk started to sign.

***That man wasn’t nice. Do you want to have dinner with us?*** You laugh, but it's almost a sob and pull Frisk into a hug, soon a long pair of bony arms wrapped around the two of you.  You take few breaths and you're a little bit more calm.

The three of you head inside, and up to the third floor, at least you were welcome here, with your friends. Toriel had the three of you wrapped in blankets with hot chocolate in your hands almost as soon as you stepped through the door.

Frisk tugs your sleeve again and gives you a sad smile before signing.

***Dinner?***

Thinking a moment, did you really want to be with people right now? Could you deal with it? Letting out a little sigh you nodd. Their smile widened.

You would try.


	5. CHAPTER 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love you all dearly so I have made an attempt to post this from my phone. 
> 
> Editing and formatting from my phone has been interesting...

Dinner had been quite, you felt bad, you were tense and nervous and they could feel it. Jerry almost never took the kids out to dinner. He had been nice to them all week, giving them sweets and distracting them from what little homework they had to do over winter break. You knew something was coming but you didn’t know what.

Sans showed up halfway through dinner and watched you. He didn’t eat anything but he kept taking long pulls from a bottle of ketchup. The second time he caught you looking he gave you a wink and offered you the bottle.

You stared at it long in hard before returning your gaze to his face, held your hand up, palm facing you and brought your middle and ring finger down against your palm.

***Why?***

“Why not?” He shrugged, taking the bottle back. You laugh and shake your head. You thank everyone shortly after dinner is finished leave to head back upstairs. You're not really fit to be around company right now, you're too worried, too nervous, to scared. you needed to pace or clean or read… something.

Unfortunately someone else had other ideas.

“whats got your bones rattled kid?” you jump, nearly banging against the other side of the elevator, you hadn’t seen him get in with you.

Glaring you pointed at him sharply.

“me? i’m flattered.” The door opened on your floor and you took a deep breath. Sans waited. If you’ve learned anything about him over this short time it's that he was patient, and stubborn... and full of bad jokes.

Sighing you step off the elevator, not at all surprised that he followed you, you start to sign.

 ***Jerry took the kids to dinner. He doesn't do that. Take them out. I’m...*** You pause, grabbing your chest, it felt to tight and your breath quickened slightly. Worried, anxious, terrified, you were halfway to panicked just to name a few.

 ***I feel like he’s going to do something. Soon. I don’t know.*** You're staring into space and Sans leads you through the door. You sit on the couch, staring blindly at the christmas tree and fist your hands in the front of your sweater.

“breath kid.” his calm low voice pulled you out of it, you take a breath and then another before turning to focus on him. The bright pinpricks of his eyes search your face for a moment as he stands in front of you. Like this, he’s taller than you and you have to look up slightly.

***I’m fine.***

You sign out of habit. his grin looks slightly strained before he sighs and sits next to you. “if ya say so kid.” You sit together in the quiet a moment, lost in thought. It was almost like you were alone. Glancing over at Sans you find him to be asleep.

He looked so strange without his grin. He looked softer, younger, not that you had much frame of reference for skeletal ages. You noticed the bags under his eyes and you self consciously reached to touch your own.

He still had a smile on his face, but it was much smaller. He looked almost cute like this. You shook that thought out of your head and dug between the couch cushions pulling out the book you had been reading last night.

It was dry and boring, one of your physics books you have read over and over again. Your lips move with the words, working out the problems and you start to calm down, lose some of your stress over what Jerry and the kids are doing.

You're not sure when but you feel eyes on you, you finish your page and look up to catch Sans watching you, an odd soft look in his eyes and a faint dusting of blue across his cheekbones. His eyes widen slightly when you look up and he breaks into a full grin.

“so are you really reading a physics book or do you got some other book shoved in there?”

You roll your eyes, turning the book to show him the page you were on. His eyebrows rose and he leaned forward.

“wow, i was expecting, sum sin else.” you burst into giggles and close your book, holding it to your chest.

“didn’t have you pegged as a nerd, guess i miscalculated.” You stuck your tongue out at him, after you finished giggling. shaking your head you started to sign.

***Math puns now? What next?***

Grinning he leaned forward eyebrows arching slightly and the slight blue tint was back on his cheekbones. You wanted to touch him you realized, wanted to see if his face got hot when he flushed like yours did. You shoved that feeling down as you leaned forward to, wondering where he was going with this.

“anything you want, there are endless pun-sibilities.” His deep voice was near a purr when he spoke and you flushed at the sound of it. Than the pun hit you and you doubled over laughing.

Once you had control of yourself again he was leaning back against the couch, his flush gone and his grin back in place. You smiled at him before signing.

***Thanks.***

“what for?” He looked genuinely confused. You shrugged.

 ***For making me laugh, keeping me company, keeping my mind of-*** You waved your hand around to include the whole room.

“jez kid, we’re friends, it's what friends do.”

Smiling you shook your head, hands poised but unsure what you wanted to say. It was quite, you were thankful because it let you hear the elevator ding. Your eyes widened in panic. If Jerry saw Sans here, you had no idea what he would do. Sans must of heard it too because his eyes were on the door for a moment before he leaned forward and grabbed your hands.

“text me if you need anything. and i mean anything.” He squeezed your fingers once before letting go, and then he was just gone.

Startled you lean forward and touch the spot he had been, when the door swings open your still looking around the living room as if Sans might be hiding somewhere.

“You two go straight to your room you hear me! You're both grounded until further notice.” Jerry marched the two kids into the room. He looked pissed and both kids looked miserable.

You stand up, instantly feeling guilty for the few moments you spent being happy with Sans. Trent looked at you and they looked… angry and sad, it broke your heart, they glared at their father and… a woman that came with him before running up to you and hugging you tightly. Ash was soon to follow, they had been crying, you hug them tight, anxiety forgotten you glare at Jerry.

He just sneers back. “You. Get out of my apartment you monster loving freeloading retard.” Your hold tightens on the kids and Trent mutters something you can just barely hear.

“He says you have to go… he says we aren't allowed to be friends with Frisk and Papyrus anymore.” This was echoed by a sob from Ash and you felt tears running down your face. Go? Leave them? You couldn’t, you wouldn’t.

You clutch the children and back away from Jerry and the bimbo hanging off of his shoulder. They both laughed. “Deb here is going to be the kids new Mommy, I don’t need a freeloader like you anymore.”

You shake your head and hold them tightly, maybe a little too tightly, but they are clinging to you just as hard.

“Ooh sweetie, whatever your thinking is a bad idea.” The woman's voice was sticky and sweet, it felt like venom and you glared hard at her. “If you don’t get out of my sweetie pies apartment I will have to call my brother. He's a cop, quiet little thing like you won’t do very well in jail, especially when we tell them how violent you got when we asked you to leave.” She was cackling now.

Trent pushed away from you to glare at them before they turned their sad gaze back to you. “You have to go. They’ll hurt you if you don’t.”

You shook your head. * **I can’t leave you with them.***

“Y-you have to.” Trent’s voice broke and Ash let out another little cry.

You were shaking, and crying now. Glancing up Jerry and Deb were kissing, eyes off your heartfelt moment.

Steeling yourself you slipped your phone into Trent's pocket.

 ***Hide it, text Sans if they do ANYTHING.*** You held their gaze for a moment until they returned your steely look and gave you a nod of understanding.

You press a kiss to each of their foreheads hugging them tightly before you lean back, signing slowly and clearly.

***I love both of you. More than anything.***

Trent look teary eyed before signing back their ‘I love you’, Ash following shortly after. Your sweet precious siblings. This would kill you, leaving them here you wouldn’t be able to protect them like you should.

You stood, a sob shaking through your body as you signed once more.

***Be brave, be strong. I will fix this.***

They nodded, you ignored Jerry and his lady friend who were laughing it up as you cried You followed the kids into their room grabbing what little you had stored in their closet, a few long coats and dresses. Ash had climbed into Trent's bed with them, not wanting to be alone. You gave each one last kiss and returned to the living room.

The pair had been busy, tossing and dumping your three boxes of belongings into the hallway. Half your belongings were scattered. The woman was sitting on the table casually ripping pages out of one of your books.

The one you had been reading just a moment ago.

You don’t even try to hide the anger growl as you charge at her, ripping the ruined book from her hand.

She slaps you, well more like claws you. Your so upset you hardly feel it but you notice the blood dripping into your eye, she lets out a shriek and clutches her hand, it looks like she broke some of her stupid long fake nails on your face.

You hear Jerry stomping up behind you and you make a run for the door. You almost make it but he catches you by the hair. You feel a few strands pull out and you gasp. He shakes you by your hair a few times, clearly trying to work words out through his rage.

“HOW DARE YOU! YOU LITTLE WHORE. You’ll be lucky if I ever let you see the brats again!” With that he threw you into the hall. You heard the door slam and lock behind you.

You look at the door across the hall. The old couple who lived their probably didn’t hear a thing. You're shaking so hard it takes you a couple tries to get up, between your crying and the bleeding cut across your eyebrow you can barely see as you right your boxes, picking up what fell out. One hand is still clutching the damaged book to your chest.

The elevator dings and you don’t need to look up to see who it is.

 ***I messed up. I messed up so bad. I don’t know. I don’t know what-*** Your shaky hands sign before you scrub at your good eye looking up. It's not just Sans, Papyrus is with him.

Papyrus doesn't say a thing, he pulls you up and holds you in a tight hug, rubbing your back and rocking you slightly while you cry. He looks so worried one of his hands hovers by your hurt eye for a moment before cupping your cheek and making you look up at him.

“It will be alright friend.” His voice was so kind and god did you want to believe him so badly.

Sans wasn’t even trying to hide his anger as he glared at your… no… Jerry’s apartment door. One of his eye sockets had gone completely dark and the other one was flickering blue. Papyrus caught your worried look and turned to his brother, still not letting go of you. “Sans…”

His voice was quiet but it snapped Sans out of whatever that was. With a blink his eyes were back to normal. “sorry bro, sorry kid. just… Jerry really deserves to get dunked on.”

You let out another cracked sob, giving the door a nervous look. You were still shaking, still halfway into apanic attack but having the skeletons here was grounding you. With their help it didn’t take long for your stuff to get picked back up. When Sans caught sight of the ripped up book you still clung to his eye flicked blue again but he shook it off.

Your things together you were faced with your next dilemma.

***I don’t know where to go. I don’t know what to do.***

You were shaking again and this time it was Sans who touched you, one hand on your shoulder and another tilting your face down to look at him. “breath, just breath for now.” You did, trying to match his breaths as Papyrus moved your boxes into the elevator.

You ended up on their couch Papyrus carefully cleaning your cut brow while Sans sat next to you and glared at the ceiling. It's been… an hour maybe since you were thrown out?

Papyrus finished, it really wasn't so bad you only needed one of the bandages shaped like that funny calculator guy Papyrus adored. Pulling your knees up you rubbed your face. You felt exhausted you just wanted to lay down and pass out but you had to figure out what to do.

Waiting for Papyrus to return you started to sign.

***How much did you guys hear?***

Papyrus flushed and looked away fidgeting a moment before responding. “I the great Papyrus would never stoop so low as to eavesdrop…”

“only some of the yelling, Trent started texting us when the lady started shrieking.” Sans responded, pulling out his phone he scrolled through the texts until he got to the top.

He already changed the contact name to ‘Trent&Ash’.

_*Hi. This is Trent, they said to text you if anything happened. Is this Sans?_

_*you guys ok kiddo_

_*Me and Ash are, Deb just screamed and it sounds like Jerry just slammed the door._

_*who’s deb? we’re coming up._

_*Dad said she’s going to be our new mom, take care of us so we don’t have a bad influence around anymore. Dad said we can’t hang out with you guys any more._

_*hows your sib doing?_

_*They got thrown out, we aren't allowed to see them anymore either. They said they’ll fix this we just got to be brave._

_*don’t worry kiddo, we’ll help em fix it._

_*Okay_.

There was a long pause, probably close to half an hour before Sans texted him back.

_*we got em, they’re going to be staying down here with us for a while so they will be close. let us know if they do anything bad and we will stage a jailbreak kiddo._

_*Okay, They went to his room, we can’t hear them anymore I’m going to try and get Ash to sleep._

You didn’t realize you were staring at the phone, or crying again until Sans tugged it from your hands and Paps is pulling you into another hug. After a moment of hesitation Sans joins in, it was a hard and boney group hug, but you needed it.

Rubbing your face you let out a sigh.

 ***Thank you. Is it really ok that I stay with you? Just till I figure something out?*** You glance from brother to brother waiting for a response.

“Of course friend! It will be like an extended slumber party! Stay as long as you need!”

“kid, once Tori and Frisk find out we’re going to have to fight them to keep ya.” Sans chuckled.

A flash of panic crosses your face before it sinks into acceptance.

***I’m going to have to tell them aren't I?***

“Tori could feel that something was troubling you and Frisk is smart, don’t worry about it, they’ll understand and want to help.” Sans patted your shoulder before leaning back into the couch.

“Just like we will help you friend!”

You let out a weak sniffle and burry your face against your knees you hold your hands up to sign.

***I don’t deserve such good friends.***

Papyrus let out a scandalized gasp, and enclosed your hands in his. “I KNOW I AM VERY GREAT, BUT YOU ARE A GOOD AND KIND HUMAN, FULLY WORTHY OF OUR FRIENDSHIP.”

“yeah kiddo, you're stuck with us. Ulna have to get used to it.”

“SANS!”

Despite yourself, despite your exhaustion and everything that's happened this awful night you start to giggle. The brothers sit with you for awhile longer, Papyrus telling stories, and filling the silence, Sans just being there, a solid rock beside you dropping a pun or a lame joke whenever your mood starts to take a turn downward.

You don’t know when you fell asleep but you only woke up briefly as one of them shifted you on the couch and tucked you in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep... So...
> 
> I'll just be over here in the trash. Where I belong.
> 
> So... Hypothetically, if I drew for this how should I handle reader? Make them as blank slate as possible? Actually design a character?


	6. CHAPTER 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehe You guys are to good to me! There are no words to describe how excited I get when I see a new comment or Kudo's or bookmark.
> 
> I really didn't think all that many people would enjoy my silly little fic. I'm super thankful for all of you and really hope you continue to enjoy the story!

You were awake. Kind of. You didn’t want to get up. Papyrus came to check on you twice. It hurt you to see his worried looks but you just burrowed farther into the blanket they had given you. You heard footsteps, they stopped near your feet and stood there for a minute.

It was probably Papyrus checking on you again, you should probably get up soon and give them back their couch. You just wanted a few more minutes.

You let out a small gasp as someone very boney sat on your feet. They were heavier than you thought they would be, given that they were just a skeleton. They shifted themself around a bit until they comfortable. Finally you peered out of your blanket nest to glare at the culprit.

Sans just grinned back and made a show of sinking farther into the couch. “morning pal.”

You narrowed your eyes slightly and wiggled your toes under him as revenge.

That made him turn a really interesting shade of blue and his startled face caused you to giggle. With a sigh you pulled your feet from under him and sat up with a stretch. Your back popped and when you looked back he was pointedly looking away from you, a few drops of sweat running down the side of his skull.

At this rate you were going to write a book with all your questions of how monsters worked.

You tapped his shoulder and after a moment he glanced back towards you, his normal cool falling back into place.

***Good morning***

“HUMAN! YOU'RE AWAKE! I WAS WORRIED YOU MIGHT BE SICK.”

You flush in embarrassment and shoot both brothers an apologetic look before signing.

***Sorry.***

“IT IS QUITE ALL RIGHT YOU ARE UP JUST IN TIME FOR BREAKFAST SPAGHETTI!”

You sent a questioning glance at Sans and he just grins. You’ve had Papyrus’ regular spaghetti. You weren't sure what the breakfast variant entailed. As the tall skeleton merrily skipped back into the kitchen as you stood and started to fold up your bedding. Their appartment was duplicate of Jerry’s when it came to the layout, it was a little odd, knowing that only a half dozen or so feet separated you from the kids. You kept shooting little glances above you, as if you could see through the ceiling and wondering what is going on.

“Trent said Jerry and Deb are preparing to leave. let's eat than we can go up and smuggle the kids a charger for the phone and get the rest of your stuff.” Sans offered, tugging the blanket from you hands after the fourth time you shot a look upwards.

“HUMAN, SANS, BREAKFAST IS COMPLETE!” Papyrus called from the kitchen. You glanced up once more before following Sans to the kitchen.

Breakfast Spaghetti turned out to be regular spaghetti, just at breakfast time. You managed to get it down without to much struggle. According to Sans it used to be a lot worse, before they had gotten access to cooking channels.

Apparently at one point in time craft glitter and sequins had been involved.

After breakfast you borrowed the brothers bathroom to clean up and change. A short hot shower and a failed attempt in getting your hair to do anything besides be in your face you're practically bouncing by the door.

“I THE GREAT PAPYRUS WILL BE IN THE DOWNSTAIRS LOBBY… ACTING AS LOOKOUT!” He looked, for lack of a better word, determined as he headed out the door at a half jog.

You coiled and recoiled the phone charger in your hand a few times as you waited for Sans. It wasn’t long until you felt a light touch to you back followed by his voice. “let's go kid.”

You were going to have to sit him down and talk to him about the disappearing/appearing act cause it was honestly starting to make your head spin. At least this time you didn’t jump.

When you tried the door to Jerry’s apartment it was locked. Taking out your key you found that it didn’t work anymore. You shot Sans a worried look. He furrowed his brow and it was probably the closest to a frown you had ever seen his smile.

Finally he grinned and pressed one finger to his teeth and winked. “Let's keep this between me and you kid.” After a moment you nodded and when you looked back at him one eye was glowing blue and the other was dark.

Before you could ask if he was alright, he snapped his fingers in front of the door knob and you heard it unlock.

Your eyes must have been huge because after his eyes returned to normal he was laughing. After a moment he reached up pressing against your chin to close your mouth, it had been hanging open. “jeez kid, you act like you’ve never seen magic before.”

You pouted and started to sign rapidly.

***Only the healing kind really. It drives me crazy not knowing how it works.***

He chuckled and shook his head as you opened the door.

It's amazing how a place can change over the space of a few hours. It looked pretty much the same, the christmas lights were off and it was deadly quiet, but it had such a dark sense of foreboding to it.

You practically ran to the kids room, only to find their door locked, from the outside. Growling to yourself you unlock it and swing the door open. The kids were shocked but as soon as they saw it was you. They yelled your name and ran to you.

You fell to your knees and clung to them, holding them tight for what felt like ages. You knew you couldn’t stay, you had to be quick, who knew when Jerry or Deb would come back, with a sigh you leaned back.

You took a long moment to look hard into Ash, than Trent’s face before you started to sign.

***Did they feed you?***

“Yeah. Its not as good as your cooking though.” Trent frowned.

***They aren't hurting you? Being bad to you?***

“Dad grounded us cause we said we didn’t want to stop being friends with monsters.” Ash’s voice was close to a sob and you pulled them into another hug.

“They aren't hurting us. They put a lock on our door cause we are grounded. But I think it's so we won’t let you in... How did you get in.” Trent questioned.

Glancing behind you Sans was still waiting in the living room, giving the three of you space.

***It's a secret. I got the phone charger***

You handed it to Trent who immediately took it and climbed over their bed, seeking out the plug in hidden between the bed and the wall.

“Can’t we come with you.” Ash muttered from where they hid their face against your shirt. Trent froze, and you froze as well. Finally you took a deep breath.

***Not yet. Soon.***

They cried and you picked them up. You carried Ash the entire time you collected the few remains of your belongings. A few books and your bathroom stuff, Sans had come in and the four of you were sitting in the kids room.

You’re holding Ash and Trent is leaning against you with one of your arms wrapped around them when Sans phone rings. He’s on it for only a few seconds but you know it's time to go. You can already feel the tears gathering in your eyes.

You hug Trent and Ash tightly before you stand, grabbing your small bag of things.

***Will be back soon. Love you!*** You sign as you’re backing out of their room. Ash whimpers and Trent won't look at you as you shut the door. With a shaky breath you lock it.

“come here kid, their in the elevator, we’re taking a shortcut.” Sans is holding his hand out to you, you don’t hesitate to take it. Its warm and hard against your fingers and his hand grips yours tightly.

than it felt like someone pulled you forward by your spine. It didn’t hurt but it was different. You have a sense of moving and for a moment you didn’t know what was up or down. Everything was black and the silence roared in your ears.

Than you were falling to your knees on the floor of Sans and Papyrus living room breathing hard. You shook your head and finally registered that Sans was kneeling in front of you, looking worried. You didn’t think you just pulled him close and buried your face in his hoodie.

His arms wrap around you and he started rubbing your back. You stay like that for a moment, trying to register what just happened, and accept the fact you just abandoned the kids for the second time in twenty four hours.

Sans is warm and firm, holding you tight, keeping you grounded. He smells like books and ketchup and well… Sans. You give him one last squeeze before pulling back and rubbing your face.

“heh, sorry kid, it's rough on everyone the first few times, you get used to it.” Sans laughed sitting back as well.

You shook your head and started to sign.

***It's not just that. Though that was interesting and I want to know how… what that was*** You pause and give him a searching look. He looks almost sheepish and shrugs.

***It's just everything. I need to find a job, maybe even go back to school. So I at least have a shot of getting custody of the kids.*** You hesitate and look down at your hands, closing them into a fist before shaking your head.

Letting out a sigh you finally sign. ***I need to track down our mother, and make her help.***

“see kiddo, you got a plan. just take it one day at a time. it gets hard, but you got to remember and hold onto who you're doing it for.” Sans had a faraway look in his eyes and it sounded like he wasn’t just talking about you anymore.

You’ve worn a fake smile for so long you felt like you should have caught onto his sooner. It explains why he is so good at dealing with you… if he’s speaking from experience. You hug him again, holding him tight. He lets out a surprised laugh before patting your back.

When you pull back his cheekbones have a faint blue tint to them.

“heh kiddo didn’t realize you were such a hugger.”

***You looked like you needed one.***

He raised an eyebrow at you and let out a short chuckle, shaking his head. “Don’t worry about me kid. I’m spine.”

You can’t help it, you snort, you freaking snort as you fall over laughing. His eyes are sparkling as he laughs with you.

By the time Papyrus comes back upstairs you're both still laying on the floor giggling. He looks from one of you to the other and lets out an exaggerated sigh.

“IT'S CLEAR YOU TWO HAVE BEEN UP TO PUNNERY IN MY ABSENCE.”  He cocked his hip to the side, crossed his arms and rolled his eyes before his eyes softened and turned to you.

“Human, how are your siblings?” He shot a worried glance upward and you followed it. You couldn’t hear anything and Sans would have told you if he got a message from Trent and Ash.

***Okay, sad that they can’t see us or play with you and Frisk. But they are okay.*** You shrug finally standing up. You offer Sans a hand and he takes it, letting you practically pull him up.

Thinking a moment you look from one brother to the other. ***I should probably tell Tori some of what's happening, then start a job search.***

Papyrus nodded, looking sad about the hopefully temporary loss of Trent and Ash. Sans lets out a thoughtful hum before giving you a shrug “don’t worry kid, i’m sure you’ll find something.”

Sans had been right Toriel had told you that you would always have a home with her and Frisk as well as the brothers. It was almost overwhelming, these people, these monsters were more caring and friendly to you in the space of a few weeks than a lot of humans had ever been. The second night at the brothers house you finally broke down and asked Sans why.

The three of you had been watching Papyrus calculator thing. Who was named Mettaton and apparently also had a sexy guy body. Frankly you had never seen so many camera shots dedicated to showing off legs. But really they were damn fine legs. But back to your question.

“well kiddo, monsters can kinda sense your soul, some can even see it without having to pull it out of you.” Sans said from your right, cracking an eye open to look at you.

“YES! We could sense that you were a kind and loving person!” Papyrus paused, his smile faltering. “And that you were in need of a friend. Of course I the great Papyrus was more than happy to become your friend!”

You frowned, looking down at your chest. They could see… well at least feel that you were broken? Or at least hurting? So much for how well you tried to hide it. You poked at your sternum, trying to figure out where your soul even is before looking back up at the brothers.

***What does a soul look like?***

You glanced from Sans to Papyrus waiting for an answer.

“A Human soul is shaped like a heart! Monster souls are more spread out, encompassing our whole bodies.” Papyrus answered with a grin. holding his hands up and making a heart shape to give you a relative idea of size and shape.

You smile and nod your understanding.

It was the morning of the third day with the brothers and you were starting to get antsy. Papyrus was a neat freak to the extreme but you did your best to help clean. You couldn’t help but think Sans found it amusing when you two fought over who got to do the dishes.

Today you had won. Mostly thanks to Frisk who had asked Papyrus to take them to the park to visit one of their monster friends. But it was still a victory. A soapy spaghetti pan scrubbing victory.

“hey kid, wanna hit up Grillby’s for lunch? or do you want to hang around for lunch spaghetti? frankly i don’t have the guts for it.” You giggle and turn to look at Sans, he’s leaning against the doorway to the kitchen, watching you.

You rinse off the last pan and set it with the rest to dry before drying your own hands.

***Sure, what's Grillby’s?***

His grin widened and he looked just a teeny bit excited. “it's the best, an old friend from the underground runs it. it's a bar but they do food and stuff to, best burgers and fries above or underground.”

You sign that you are excited before grabbing a change of cloths. you were still in your PJs and as comfortable as they were, it was december, and there was snow outside.

You had never been to a monster run business before. You had heard about a few on the other side of town but you didn’t realize  a monster owned bar had opened up so close by, it was a short walk and Sans didn’t even use a shortcut.

You almost wish he did, it was windy out and you pulled your scarf tighter around your neck. Sans had added a beanie and scarf of his own, even pulling his hood up against the wind.

***I thought skeletons don't get cold?***

“nah kid, that just Paps, me, i’m chilled to the bone.” He shot you a grin and you giggled.

The two of you hurried the remaining block to the bar and were quick to get inside. It's still a bit early for lunch but the Bar is filled with more monsters than you have ever seen in one place.

Honestly you feel a little crowded, but the ones that do look up and greet sans are friendly and the bars cheerful atmosphere is actually starting to sink in. It feels good. Sans leads you to a seat at the bar and you get a good look at the monster behind the counter.

You stare a moment before you realize that he wasn’t on fire, but he was made of fire. You thought you had a lot of questions about how skeleton monsters worked. How this guy could be made of fire, serve alcohol, and wear clothing were just a few that came to mind.

“Hey Grillby, two of the usual.” The fire elemental gave a thumbs up and headed to the back.

“i know Grillby is hot kid, but no reason to burn a hole through him with your eyes.” You flushed before you realized it was a pun. laughing you turn in your stool to face sans, starting to sign. He’s already appropriated a bottle of Ketchup from somewhere and was taking a long swig.

***It not that. I don’t mean to be rude. I just have so many questions about how monsters work.***

“easy answer is magic.” You roll your eyes and Sans chuckles at that.

***What's funny about wanting to know how things work?*** You pouted and he chuckled louder shaking his head.

“not funny, it's actually kind of cute, the way you make this face where you purse your lips together and furrow your eyebrows when you're trying to figure something out.” He was flushing slightly and glancing away, but your face was turning a little warmer to.

It's been a long time since anyone's said a part of you was cute. Let alone your stupid thinking face that you used to get teased about in college.

You were interrupted by two burgers and baskets of fries sliding in front of you. You smile and sign your thanks to the fire elemental who looks slightly surprised.

You didn’t know fire could look surprised. Grillby lifted his hands and signed back.

***Your welcome.***

You raise your eyebrows and can’t help but signing, looking from Grillby to Sans.

***Do all monsters know sign language?***

Grillby crackled in what you thought might be his version of a laugh and shook his head. Sans was the one that answered.

“nope, but from what i’ve seen monsters are more willing to accommodate people's differences. back in Snowdin most of the town knew at least some basic sign language because of Grillby.”

The fire elemental nodded before moving to take care of another customer.

“Ketchup?” Sans was holding out a bottle to you, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

You narrow your eyes at him but take it from him and aim to pour some out in the corner of your fry basket. The lid pops off and you dump half the bottle drenching your fries and the bonehead next to you is almost choking on his laughter.

“Aw man, your face. here i’ll trade ya.” Before you could say anything he had already swapped your fry baskets. Finally you manage to shake off your surprise and decide to stick your tongue out at him.

That of course sets him to laughing again.

The food is good, you even steal some of the ketchup off of Sans soaked fries. Yeah it's all a bit greasy but it fills you up in a way you haven't felt in a long time. You're not sure if it because it's monster food or you haven't gotten the chance to stuff yourself in a long time. You had a bit of savings left and you had offered to pay but Sans had waved it off, putting it on his tab.

The walk back was a lot nicer than the walk there. Sure it was still cold but the wind had died down and big fat snowflakes were starting to drift down in lazy patterns. It was beautiful. As your eyes followed the snowflakes they landed on a new storefront.

It was about a block away from your apartment building. Since you had been living with Jerry and the kids it had been a Bookstore, a photography studio, and several other things that didn’t manage to stick. It had been vacant for almost a year.

Now it was a cute little cafe.

With a help wanted sign in the window.


	7. CHAPTER 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As always I love you all for your continued reading and commenting on my train-wreck of a fan-fiction!

The Spider Cafe as it turned out, was run by a monster. A female spider monster who was adorable and terrifying all at once.

After Sans had seen what made you stop he practically pushed you inside. You were glad to have Sans with you, as it turns out Muffet was the first monster you’ve met that doesn't know a lick of sign language.

She gave you an interview on the spot, well it really wasn’t much of an interview and a lot of it probably tied in with what Sans had said about monsters being able to feel out a person's nature. She really just chatted and asked you a few questions about your work history. You told her that you used to be a tutor and a TA for the science department of your old college and once had had a part time job working in a bookstore.

After that the questions turned a little more personal, she wanted your height, hip, waist and chest measurements, not to mention your feelings and past relationships towards spiders. You and Sans were both red and blue in the face respectively. It wasn’t until she asked if you were comfortable wearing a dress or if you would prefer the uniform with slacks did you realize she had skipped over telling you that you had the job and was ordering your uniform.

Needless to say you were flabbergasted and ecstatic. You thanked her profusely which only seemed to tickle her. You started this coming wednesday and your uniform would be ready by then.

You were practically skipping the rest of the way back home, wanting to tell everyone you had found a job. Sans was grinning at your antics and you couldn’t help but lean down and hug him.

“hey not complaining, but what's this for kiddo?” Leaning back he seemed a little flushed and you giggled.

***I’m happy. Its felt like ages but I’m happy and excited I got to have a good time with you, and I found a job!***

He seemed a little stumped and his eyes seemed to sparkle a moment while he looked up at you. He’s quiet for so long that you raise a hand to ask if something was wrong. Before you get more than the first sign out he caught one of your hands, wrapping his fingers around your gloved ones.

You flush darkly looking at your joined hands tentatively rubbing your thumb over his bare finger bones.

“i’m glad you had an ice time. anytime you just want to hang out and chill let me know. it's snow problem.” Sans grins widely and you burst into a fit of giggles, doubling over with laughter. Once you’ve calmed down you both head back to the apartment. Neither of you letting go of the others hand.

Everyone was happy that you had managed to land a job so quickly. You even text Alphys and Undyne from Sans phone you're so excited. Once Alphys finds out your phone has been given to Trent she offers to bring you a new one on Wednesday. Both of the girls want to come over and celebrate your first day of work.

You’ve recovered somewhat, from the shock of being separated from the kids, you still worry and your afraid at the rate you ask Sans to check in on them that you might be annoying him. But he never seems to really mind. Jerry and Deb have been taking care of the kids.

Sort of.

They ignore them for the most part, too wrapped up in each other but they feed them. You don’t like that they have been locking the kids in their room while they aren't home. It was child neglect leaving a five and seven year old like that. Even if it was just for a short time.

On the bright side it gave you time to pop up and see the kids, you only felt a little vertigo when Sans teleported you now.

You woke up early for your first day of work. More like you hardly slept you were to excited and nervous. You settled on something simple to wear, you would be changing out of it once you got into work anyway.

Your hair was another matter. It was wavy in a way that made it near impossible to do much with. In the end you simply brushed it out and tuck it back it back.

Sans was still out cold when you left but Papyrus gave you a hug and wished you a good day at work. It was still very early, the streets were practically dead. Your shift started at seven and Muffet had wanted you to be a bit earlier so you could change and have some basic training.

As soon as you entered the cafe Muffet was ushering you to the back, one of her hands offering you a little whiteboard and pen so you could talk to her.

“You're going to look just adorable in this dearie, my cousin is a seamstress and was thrilled to whip this up!”

She hands you the uniform on a hanger. A plan enough dress shirt with a dusty red vest that had cute little spider shaped buttons. Under it all was a pair of striped pants in a darker red. It was classy and adorable, but you weren't as confident as the spider that it would look that way on you. Still you grin at your new boss before quickly writing on the whiteboard.

_*your cousin did a good job. Its very cute._

“Ahuhuhu, With your looks you’ll snare us both Human and monster customers alike!” You flush slightly as you giggle and hurry to get changed.

Ok, you had to admit. You did look a little cute.

And once you learned your way around the pastries and espresso machine you started to enjoy yourself.

Most of the customers were monsters, some you recognized from your neighborhood. But there were also quite a few humans, likely out getting last minute holiday shopping done and entranced by the cute little cafe with its spider themed treats.

You were almost done with your first shift and you were getting close to exhausted when you heard the bell above the door ring, announcing a customer. You ready your whiteboard before you look up to see who it is.

Sans is halfway to the counter and looks like he paused mid step once he caught sight of you. His pupils have gotten very small and this might be the bluest you’ve ever seen him. You blush and fidget with the front of your vest and that seems to snap him out of it.

He’s still pretty blue though.

“wow kiddo, they sure got you dolled up.” You blush darker at that and you're glad when he finally takes his eyes off of you to study the menu.

“figured i’d get a cup of joe and walk ya home… i mean if you wanted me to.”  This made you stupidly happy for some reason. Well, you weren't that naive you knew why you were happy but you didn’t want to admit to yourself that you had a crush on guy who was helping you pick up the broken pieces of your life.

You nodded quickly, trying to ignore the fizzy feeling in your stomach when his smile widened.

***I’d like that.***

You get him his coffee, and he ends up getting one of the spider donuts to and takes them to a table. For the last fifteen minutes of your shift Sans sits at his table enjoying his coffee and doughnut and reading a book he pulled out of his coat.

Squinting at the cover it looks like a joke book.

Finally Muffet comes out of the back to relieve you and you hurry to collect your things. You opt to just put your coat and boots on over your work uniform, tired and a bit excited to see Alphys and Undyne again. You wave goodbye to Muffet before heading over to Sans.

Once you reach his table he glances up at you and grins. “off the clock buddy? time ready when you are.”

With a giggle you nodded and after a short trip to the trash with his coffee cup and another wave at Muffet your on your way home. It was still late afternoon but being this time year it was already starting to get dark out.

You and Sans walked close enough that occasionally you would bump into each other but neither of you seemed to mind as you made the trip home in comfortable silence.

It wasn’t broken until the elevator doors opened on the third floor.

Toriels door was open and from the sound of everyone was in there. A loud synthesized voice that you recognized from somewhere but couldn’t quite place let out a loud laugh and Sans went rigid his smile faltering slightly.

You stop and look down at him and really you can’t describe his expression, but it's somewhere between annoyed and agitated.

It wasn’t until the voice rang out again, practically cooing. “Ooh Papyrus darling, you're just too precious.” that Sans expression settled into a very forced grin and he marched into Toriels apartment. You follow behind unsure what about the oddly familiar voice has gotten Sans on edge.

That became clear once you entered Toriels living room. Alphys and Undyne saw you right away both offering you a smile, Undyne looked somewhat annoyed as well by the stranger in the room. Not that they were really a stranger, you’ve seen them almost every night you’ve been at the brothers. Watching him on TV.

There on the couch, sitting next to a very flustered Papyrus was Mettaton. You didn’t realize you were going to meet a celebrity today, you would have changed out of your work clothes and into something you felt more comfortable in.

Papyrus seemed to be stumbling over his words and Mettaton’s focus was entirely on the stuttering Skeleton who was a very dark shade of orange, likely from being so close to his robot idol. Before Mettaton could say anything else to further fluster his brother Sans practically forced his way between them, settling on the couch and shooting the robot a glare.

“hey bro, hey Mettaton, didn’t realize you were invited.” The addressed robot looked irritated at Sans presence and let out a huff before he gave his hair a little flip.

“I came along with Dr. Alphys. After all, it's been so long since I have seen darling Frisk along with Toriel and Papyrus.” Mettaton paused for effect, flipping his hair again before adding. “And you.”

“Hey punk, are you just going to stand around in your coat all day or are you going to come in and hang with us!” Undyne broke the uneasy silence and Papyrus practically shot up from the couch to greet you.

“HUMAN! HOW WAS YOUR FIRST DAY OF WORK!” You grin and manage a thumbs up before he pulls you into a hug.

Finally he released you and you managed to get out of your winter outerwear. Looking down at the fancy uniform you flush reaching for your bag, intent on slipping over to the brothers apartment to change.

You froze when you heard a trio of gasps and a pair of metallic footsteps approaching you. You turn nervously and start to sign.

***Sorry, I didn’t get a chance to change out of my work uniform.***

“Well, well, well. Aren't you just gorgeous.” Mettaton caught one of your hands and pressed his metal lips to the back of your hand. They were warmer than you expected robot lips to be and you were pretty sure you were quickly turning the same shade of red as your dress.

As he straightened you realized just how tall he was, he looked taller than Undyne, and most of that height was legs. You were frozen. Not really with fear, you felt fairly safe with all of your friends here. But this giant intimidating robot man was very imposing, expecially as he gave you quite the once over with his eyes? Optics?

You didn’t realize you had started to shake, or that Mettaton had yet to release your hand until Sans tugged it out of the robot's grip and Alphys spoke.

“M-m-maybe we should let them change out of t-there w-work uniform M-Mettaton.” The little yellow monster stammered.

Mettaton gave you a worried look before turning with a flip of his hair and changing his focus back to the doctor.

“Who would want to change out of a uniform that adorable?” You could practically hear the pout in his voice as Sans lead you across the hall

“Well it doesn't look very comfortable.” Undyne responded sharply.

“Comfort has NOTHING to do with Fashion!”

After that you couldn’t really hear anything else because Sans had shut the door.

“you alright bud?”

You took a deep breath before nodding raising your hands.

***I was not expecting that. He is very.*** Flail your hands, Mettaton was a lot of things and you weren't sure if a word existed that could summarize them all. ***Not bad, just big and loud. I’ll get used to it.***

“yeah, he’s something.” Sans chuckled as you selected a clean sweater and pair of jeans from a box, before you disappeared into their bathroom to change you signed a question to Sans.

***Why don’t you like him?***

You left the door cracked so you could hear his answer as you started undoing the many buttons of your vest and undershirt.

“i don’t dislike him. i just don’t like the way he throws himself at Paps. i don’t trust his intentions, he’s too self centered and selfish for my baby bro.” Pulling on your clean sweater you thought on that. You could understand Sans wanting to protect his sweet innocent baby brother from someone who appeared very much not innocent.

You were an older sibling after all, you dread the day when Ash and Trent were old enough to date. You quickly repress that thought. They easily had a decade yet until you had to start worrying about that.

Finished changing you stepped out feeling much more yourself in a baggy sweater with an argyle pattern down the front and worn blue jeans. You didn’t mind the uniform at work, but around friends you wanted to be comfortable.

Sans was leaning against the hallway wall waiting. You offer him a grin and he returns it.

***Now I feel like myself.***

Sans chuckled and lead the way back across the hall. “let's go kiddo.”

Mattaton still cooed over your new outfit, apparently adoring the pattern of your sweater. Though he toned it down a bit, and really once you got to know him he didn’t seem that bad. He was just loud big and wanted everyone to acknowledge that he was the brightest shiniest star in the room.

Not hard to do when parts of him actually light up.

Undyne swept you up into a friendly headlock, ruffling your hair and by the time you had sat down with Alphys Toriel had come out with fresh butterscotch pie.

“O-oh! I b-brought you a new phone!” You shake your head raising your hands to explain that she didn’t have to do that but Frisk interrupted by climbing into your lap and signing at the doctor.

***Does it turn into a jetpack like my phone?***

You giggle, thinking it was the child's imagination but you were stopped as Alphys gave Frisk an apologetic look. “Oh, no, I couldn’t fit one big enough for an adult human...T-Though I did connect it to the undernet so it has item storage and should work pretty much anywhere, and you don’t have to charge it like a regular phone.”

She seemed to light up when she talked about her work and finally you accepted the little rectangle. It was a little bigger and heavier than your everyday smartphone and it had some extra buttons. You tried to hand it back but she shook her head.

“It's a g-gift. Y-you n-need your own p-phone. I-I already put all of our contact info in it. I h-hope you don’t mind.” she stammered slightly. Finally you gave in… well, after Frisk elbowed you.

You grinned and held up your hands to sign your thanks.

***Thank you so much. I really appreciate this.***

This got the little doctor flustered and stuttering again causing both you and Frisk to giggle.

All in all you really enjoyed the visit. You really wish Trent and Ash could have been there. You weren't sure how much Alphys and Undyne knew beyond you currently residing on the brothers couch.

You didn’t really want to bring any of it up in front of Mettaton, you didn’t really know him very well and you only knew Undyne and Alphys from the moving day and your text conversations. Not like you knew Toriel, or the brothers.

You got to chat with the girls a bit, Alphys was getting her PhD accredited and Undyne was currently working as a bouncer but was hopeful that she might get a job as an athletic coach or trainer soon.

Mettaton even took the time to talk to you, though a lot of it also seemed like half veiled flirts. You were surprised that Sans stuck close to you the entire time you and the robot man had chatted. In a similar way that he stuck near his brother. But Sans didn’t bother to hide the dirty looks he shot the robot from you.

It kinda felt nice, having someone looking out for you.

Towards the end of the visit Toriel announced that she would be hosting a Christmas party on Christmas eve and everyone was invited.

Sans had made a joke about asking if attendance was mandible-tory and nearly derailed the conversation.

Once back on track she announced that she had heard of a human gift giving tradition called secret santa and had thought it a wonderfully fun idea. As hostess Toriel would be the keeper of the names and be there to help out with gift ideas as needed.

That's how you found yourself sticking your hand into a little bag Toriel had produced and pulling out a slip of paper.

Retreating to your corner you peaked at the slip of paper to see who you had gotten.

‘Undyne’ was scrawled in the fish woman's bold script. Sucking your lip you had no idea what to get her. What she even really liked besides working out and watching anime with Alphys.

“who’d ya get?” Sans deep voice came from beside you. Quickly you crinkled up the paper and stuffed it in your pocket before signing.

***It's supposed to be a secret!***

“did you get me?” He questioned, arching one of his eye socket/brows, his grin widening.

You did answer this and shook your head.

***Nope. You would be easy, a big jug of ketchup, or paying off your tab at Grillby’s*** You signed with a teasing grin.

“hey, that would be more of a present to Grillby.” He chuckled

Finally curious you glanced up at him, signing.

***Who did you get?***

His grinned widened and he let out another little chuckle.

“it's a secret.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like this chapter might feel a little filler-y, but its getting us places I promise!


	8. CHAPTER 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is like a day late (And really short) this one, and the one following it were a little tough to write.

Two days until the party and you were excited. You had the day off so yourself and Papyrus had decided to make a trip to the mall to get Christmas shopping done and hopefully find a gift for your respective secret santas.

Papyrus seemed anxious over what to get his person but was also very adamant about keeping it a secret. It was cute how dedicated to the rules the tall skeleton was.

You had enlisted the help of Toriel, and Frisk to figure out what Undyne liked and found out she was a huge fan of tea. Not something you would have guessed but it gave you a wide range of gift ideas within the price range everyone agreed to. You also had another mission. You wanted to get gifts for Trent and Ash, as well as something for Toriel, Frisk, Sans and Papyrus for all they have done for you so far. You were even keeping an eye out for something that might interest Dr. Alphys, she had built you a phone after all, so she deserved something as well.

Your Christmas list had grown so much bigger than it was during the beginning of December.

Papyrus let out a sigh, his eyes scanning yet another mall storefront. “Friend, I am at a loss. I the great Papyrus can not think of a gift worthy of this person, they are too magnificent for me to express my friendship with a simple gift. I have failed my duty as a secret santa.” He looked distraught and couldn’t help but move forward to give him a reassuring pat on the shoulder.

Once he was looking to you, you started to sign.

***As long as the gift comes from the heart they will love it. They will love whatever you get them, because you got it for them.*** You smiled. It was cheesy but it seemed to cheer Papyrus up.

“YOU ARE RIGHT FRIEND! I THE GREAT PAPYRUS WILL NOT FAIL THIS CHALLENGE!” With that declaration he startled several passersby before running off with a NYEH HEH HEH. You chuckled before heading out to do your own shopping.

You managed to find something for everyone. Nothing terribly exciting or expensive, just little personal things you thought they would all like. You were waiting for Papyrus near the food court, bags in hand when you heard a familiar laugh.

No, not one of your friends that would have sent a warmth seeping into you, not even one you simply recognized from your neighborhood.

It was the cruel humorless laugh of Jerry. You tried to keep your breathing even, he wouldn’t hurt you, he couldn’t touch you in public.

You had hardly seen him since you were thrown out. He knew you were still in the building, but he didn’t speak to you. He yelled at you. You had been upgraded from ‘monster loving trash’ to well… much worse was implied.

Deb you saw more of, apparently she didn’t work and while Jerry worked she would often be in and out of the building. She didn’t speak, she just smirked at you, shooting dirty looks.

“Fucking monsters everywhere now. Ruining the holidays hell half of em are so ugly I want to barf.” He walked by, he hadn’t noticed you but your breathing was still quick and your heart was trying to beat its way out of your ribcage.

“Yeah but what can you do about it? Freaking governments trying to make nice with em.” You didn’t recognize that voice but judging from the shared viewpoint he was likely one of Jerry’s friends.

“Swear to god, none better be at the office party. Some freaking cat and lizard things got hired in the mail room.” was the last you caught as the rest of their conversation faded out of earshot.

You waited a good five minutes before you looked up to make sure Jerry was really gone. Your breathing was still crazy but you kept your head down and prayed you weren't making a scene. You hated that just hearing him could do this to you.

You pulled out your phone and wrote a text to the kids, trying to focus on something else. Sans had surprised you the other day by breaking them out and meeting you at the bakery during your lunch break. You nearly broke into tears at work and Muffet had simply adored them.

Even squeamish little Ash had decided that spiders were kind of cool after meeting the female monster.

The four of you had hiked the block and a half to Grillby’s and spoiled the kids. Sans had even slipped a woopie cushion into Trent's seat causing the kids to burst into laughter.

Of all your new friends Sans was different. he KNEW how hard this was, he understood. He did little things to help ground you, help you deal with… all of this.

Than he did big things like that. Things that if Jerry found out, you could land you both in a heap of trouble. The kids knew not to talk, not that Jerry or deb paid them much mind. At least they took the lock off the kids door after the first week.

Still, you didn’t want to think about what Christmas would be like without them. You were still a bit of a train wreck yourself. Going from being excited about work and pulling your life together to a being a broken shaking mess because you abandoned your siblings, not that you had a choice but you in panic mode didn’t exactly pull punches when it came to guilt and self loathing.

Speaking of panic mode you needed to start breathing properly now. Before you caused a scene or worse, before Papyrus came back and saw you.

Deep breaths, in, count to seven, out, count to seven. You still hated people seeing like this, even though both Sans and Papyrus had seen you this way before you tried to hide as much of it as you could.

By the time Papyrus had shown up bags in hand you were mostly back to yourself, deep in a text conversation with Trent and Ash while they played a guessing game about what you had gotten them for Christmas.

You didn’t want to say anything to them but you and the brothers were hopeful that you would be able to spring them for Toriels Christmas party. A fragment of Jerry’s passing conversation came to mind, he had mentioned a office party, perhaps it was even more likely than you had originally thought.

Papyrus mood had improved Apparently he had found something he thought perfect for whoever it was he had gotten. He would not let you peek inside the bag however, no matter how much you pouted.

Sans was working when the pair of you had arrived home. You wondered where he worked, You knew about the hotdog stand but you also knew that there were others though he always redirected or avoided any questions about them. From the strained look around his eyes or mouth whenever it was brought up you figured he didn’t really enjoy them.

He was a born lazybones though so maybe it was just the idea of work he didn’t like.

Papyrus retreated to his room with wrapping paper and a roll of tape while you moved to a corner of the living room similarly armed.

It would be best to start with the brothers presents, it wasn’t to bad if they caught a glimpse of someone else's, but the sooner the skeletons presents were wrapped the safer. By the time you had finished it was quite an impressive little pile. Two soft lumpy packages, one labeled Sans, one labeled Paps. a Cylinder shaped one for Undyne as well as a little box for the gift exchange. Another box for Alphys, a small soft package for Frisk and a vaguely book shaped one for Toriel. Not to mention several little things for Ash and Trent.

You felt accomplished as you added them to the little pile growing under the brother’s tree.

“you really got a gift for wrapping kiddo.” you sat upright from your place on the floor turning to look at Sans. He was nestled into his regular spot on the couch, eyes half lidded. He looked a bit more tired than he usually did.

***How long have you been watching?*** You worried, fearing that he may have spied his present.

“since you wrapped the toy cars, those for Trent?” He questioned, watching you as you cleaned up before you sank into the couch beside him and started to sign.

***Ash. They are a tiny little gearhead. They like monster trucks and tutus*** You grinned, thinking about your youngest sibling's eccentric taste.

***Trent's harder, they’ve always been drawn to art.*** You pause and Sans chuckles at your subtle pun. ***And music, but they are super into sports to.***

Once you're done signing Sans gives you a little nod before letting his eyes drift shut. He’s not sleeping, he doesn't look relaxed. But as you inspect him closer you retract your previous assessment.

He doesn't look more tired than he usually does. He looked exhausted.

little beads of sweat were even gathering on the side of his skull, you now knew that they were tinted blue because that was the color of his magic. It also explained why he blushed blue and Papyrus orange.

Hesitantly you reached out, fingers hovering an inch from his face before you bite your lip and touch his forehead, wiping away some of the magic perspiration.

His eyes snapped open and you froze. You hadn’t really meant to touch him like that, hell that could almost be considered intimate, or at least really familiar. But curiosity and worry had trounced your better judgment and social graces.

Your fingers snapped back and you were looking anywhere but him as you started to sign.

***Sorry, I just...Are you ok?***

He chuckled and you risk a quick glance to his face. He was a bit flushed but otherwise didn’t seem to be insulted by your touch. “yeah kiddo, just tired. closer to the big day we get seems like more and more people lose their holiday spirit in their rush to get things and go places.”

He let out a sigh and let his eyes drift closed again. You two sat in a relatively comfortable silence until Papyrus emerged from his room, a messily, and elaborately wrapped package joining the pile before you all fell into your evening routine.

Sans went to bed right after reading Papyrus his bedtime story and you were quick to follow. It had been a fairly busy day after all.

You weren't expecting the dreams.

You didn’t normally get dreams, and when you did you rarely remembered them, usually only the last few snippets before you woke up and even those tended to fade out of reach. However sometimes you would get nightmares. Though perhaps that wasn’t the right word.

They never really had images, just sounds, feelings, replayed conversations, tweaking them just so. Tonight was no different waves of fear and panic washed through you as you relived the night Jerry kicked you out, your mind altering it and making it so that you felt you would never see the kids again. You felt washes of guilt and shame for leaving them, not being able to get them out of the situation sooner.

It faded, exposing a much older wound one you had dared to hope has healed. A deep sadness, the guilt once more and an overwhelming sense of loss, you started to struggle, you didn’t want to relive this you didn’t want to feel it all over again. You fought and flailed against the feelings and the dream was cut short by a sense of falling and a dull thud.

You were tied up in your blanket and you had rolled off of the couch. What was worse, you were high on adrenaline and remembered panic that you were not getting back to sleep anytime soon. The ghosts of feelings still haunted you and your body shook as you worked to right yourself.

Digging around for your phone you looked at the time. Just a bit past two thirty. Great.

With a resigned sigh you slip on your boots and coat, dig around for a piece of paper and scrawl a note for the brothers on the off chance they wake up while you were out.

_*Going for a walk._

That done you barely touch the doorknob before you felt the hairs on the back of your neck prickle, you weren't alone. You turn and sure enough there was Sans.

Holding your note and looking at you, he looked odd. It took you a moment to place what was wrong. He wasn’t smiling. He wasn’t smiling and he looked worried.

The silence was almost painful and you shrank in on yourself slightly. Jumping when he finally broke it.

“little late for a walk don’t you think?” His voice was strained. You weren't sure what was wrong, what you had done for Sans to be making this horrible face, his voice sounding hurt.

You take a few nervous steps towards him hands moving slowly, trying to repress the shaking.

***Had a dream. Can’t sleep.***

Sans seemed to relax a bit, but only slightly. He took a deep breath and then another before his smile finally returned. “want some company? its pretty late.”

You bite your lip and shrug, finally signing. ***I wouldn’t want to impose. I know you’ve been tired. It’s just around the block.***

Sans watches your hands before his eyes flick to your face. He still looks shaken, but you don’t know what he’s looking for. “i’m not so tired i can’t keep a friend company.” You wish he would drop some pun, lighten the mood, laugh off this bad mood. You feel a slight twinge of fear in the half light living room. The only light you're focusing on are the little glowing pinpricks of Sans eyes.

He didn’t say anything, but the way he looked at you, you knew he was restating his offer you tense slightly when you feel fingerbones ghost over you hand and you feel bad for not taking him up on the offer in the first place.

You nod and Sans seems to let go of the rest of his tension. You don’t ask, but you want to badly. You want to know why the thought of you going for a walk in the middle of the night seemed to shake him so badly. Shake him to the point that he kept shooting you little glances. To the point he wouldn’t let go of your hand.

That part you didn’t mind. You didn’t mind the cold or that you had forgotten your gloves his fingers twined with your and held you tight. It grounded you from your odd dreams, and it seemed to ground him from whatever had bothered him.

By the time you had gotten home you both seemed exhausted and passed out in your respective beds.


	9. CHAPTER 9

It was the day of the party, and between Toriel, Papyrus and yourself you were baking up a storm It was hectic moving back and forth from kitchen to kitchen so Toriel finally shooed you away to get ready about an hour before the party.

The brothers were way ahead of you.

Papyrus. Sweet, darling goober Papyrus. Was for once out of his armor. You’ve seen him in his PJs a few times, but it always hit you how skinny he was out of it. Not that what he was wearing was any less ridiculous.

He had on a knit sweater in red and white with a reindeer and snowflakes pattern, but what really sold the outfit, brought it together, was the antler headband taped to his skull with a strip of masking tape on each side.

He was honestly the most adorable thing you had seen in a long time.

He was also in the process of wrestling his brother out of his poofy Jacket and a grey turtleneck.

Well, wrestling was not really the word, it was fairly one sided. Papyrus was fighting the clothing off of him and Sans was doing absolutely nothing to help.

“NYEHEHE! NOW CHANGE INTO YOUR FESTIVE ATTIRE BROTHER!” Papyrus finally stood, holding the shirt and jacket up victoriously. You tried very hard not to stare at Sans bare rib-cage, you’d not seen either of them in this level of undress before.

“ok.” He didn’t move, except to sink into the couch a little more.

“NOW BROTHER!” As Papyrus huffed brandishing a green sweater that matched his own and another pair of antlers you were losing your battle in trying not to ogle your friend.

“ok.” He was big boned, though the coat and sweaters did add a lot of mass, his bones were a lot thicker and wider spaced than you would expect. Definitely not a human skeletons proportions, he looked so much sturdier. You Glance to his face and freeze as you made eye contact. You’ve been caught.

You blush and wave at them as you snag your own outfit from the top of your boxes and rush to the bathroom. You barely notice Sans finally snatching up the sweater and Papyrus giving you both a puzzled look. before your away in the bathroom.

Your Christmas sweater, your favorite one you had worn before that goes about a third of the way down your thigh. It was striped with a big felt tree on the front with little plastic and felt decoration. It was so ugly, you loved it, and it would fit right in for the brothers, over a nice pair of black skinny jeans and your sneakers it would do just fine. Though you kind of wish you had a pair of tacky antlers to.

Calming yourself you were still a bit flustered from being   checking out Sans but you were calm now, your face only slightly rosey when you entered the living room once more. Sans, now in a green sweater and antlers, was standing in the hall waiting for you.

He seemed to have recovered faster than you did, you felt a few butterflies at the sight of him standing there grinning and you were afraid this little friend crush was getting out of hand.

“heya kiddo, we got an early Christmas present for ya.” His grin widened and you realized he was angled just enough to block your view of the living room.

***Is it antlers? I don’t think I can work them as well as you.*** This got a laugh and a shake of his head.

You waited, but he didn’t say anything just stood there and grinned.

Until you heard a pair of giggles and a very loud Shh from Papyrus.

Than you were all but shoving past him and rushing into the living-room. There was Papyrus, with Ash and Trent.

Ash squealed and Trent called out your name as they rushed to you. You picked them up, it was getting harder and harder to do as they got bigger, and gave them each a big wet kiss kiss on the cheek.

This got your desired response of giggles and ‘eww’s’.

Finally you had to release them, your hands were practically itching from all the questions you wanted to phrase.

***Deb and Jerry are gone?*** This got a nod from the kids before Trent spoke up.

“They left us with movies and a pizza. I think they went to a party.” You grinned at that, but still a little nervous about getting caught.

Honestly you were getting a little teary knowing the brothers and kids had worked together to make this little jailbreak a surprise. Before you could properly form your thanks Papyrus snuck up behind you and pulled you and the kids into a hug.

You fought your arms free finally managing to form a sentence.

***Thank you so much! I was so worried we wouldn’t be able to have Christmas together.***

Papyrus released you and you stooped to ruffle the children's hair. “OF COURSE HUMAN!” He grinned, as if it was the simplest thing.

“Christmas is for family, and santa! Of course we would have it together!” Ash chirped. You grinned releasing them before leaning back and taking a good look at them.

Not only had the brothers sprung them, but they, likely Papyrus, had helped them pick out party appropriate outfits.

Sans finally wandered over from his post in the hallway, you shot him a warm smile as thanks and you probably would have hugged him to. If you weren't still a bit embarrassed.

It wasn’t long until the five of you were heading back over to Toriel’s. The kids excited for a chance to play with Frisk rushed ahead while you and the brothers carried presents over. Besides the secret santa presents it was mostly things for the kids. You were pleasantly surprised that both Papyrus and Sans had gotten something for all three children, even though they had only known your pair for such a short time.

It was kinda like having an extended family and it was almost overwhelming, it had been just you for a long time, even when you still lived with your mother. Than it had been Trent and Ash with you.

Now?

Now you had a whole slew of monsters you’ve known not even a month that you looked at not only as friends, but as family.

Toriel, the amazing person she was had set all three children up decorating gingerbread cookies, after depositing his gifts Papyrus was quick to join them. You choose to join Sans on the couch.

It wasn’t long until the other guests started to arrive.

Undyne and Alphys were first You gave Alphys a small wave before you were swept up into a bear hug from Undyne. Alphys joined you and Sans on the couch while Undyne was coaching the three children and Papyrus to decorate cookies with more passion.

Toriel the ever observant host was puttering in the kitchen but would come out often to check on everyone.

Next came a large monster you didn’t recognize, he was as tall and looked similar to Toriel but his horns were much bigger. Despite his size he seemed rather timid. Undyne and Papyrus were quick to drag you up to him and introduce you to Asgore, the king of all monsters.

He was very kind and Frisk seemed ecstatic that they came. Toriel seemed less so, you have never quite seen her glare in such a way at someone. You decided to ask Sans about it.

“Oh, Tori and Asgore used to be married. But uh, they got in a fight and Tori left.” He had been half asleep sinking into the couch but after you had started signing he had straightened.

“I-I-I think Asgore is trying to w-w-win her back! I h-hope it w-w-works out!” Alphys chimed in.

Sans snorted at that and your turned your gaze to him, waiting for him to talk.

“i really don’t see Tori forgiving him.” He finally responded. Alphys pouted and looked like she wanted to say more but she was interrupted by the arrival of the last guest.

“Sorry to be late Darlings! I had to wrap of the filming of a Christmas special and It just simply wouldn’t do to have only one take. Alphys darling, you really should invent a camera that can better capture the beauty that is Moi!” He posed almost as soon as he was threw the door.

Mettaton was… very festive. Cloths? Parts? had been swapped out for more of a holiday look and it looked like he had a scarf made out of Christmas lights. “I tried to bring Blooky and Shy along but those two insisted they would prefer a quiet night in rather than a festive party!”

Everyone was here, munching on snacks and enjoying each others company you stood, intent on a few cookies and seeing if Toriel needed anymore help, though the way Asgore hovered he probably had that covered.

Sans was quite, though he tended to stick near you or his brother. He even joined in when the kids started up a board game. A proper sit down meal wasn’t planned out, instead it was just a plethora of snacking foods that were easy to pick at while everyone enjoyed the company.

It wasn’t long until the kids were asking to open presents. Everyone situated themselves in the living room. You squeezed between the arm of the couch and Sans. His other side was occupied by Papyrus, Mettaton, than Asgore sitting mostly on the armrest. Toriel was in her recliner while Alphys and Undyne snuggled on a loveseat. The kids were far to excited to sit still and Frisk had taken it upon themselves to pass out the presents.

Frisk decided that first they would pass out the secret santa gifts for the adults, Trent and Ash were excited and helped Frisk pass them out. First up was a sparkling pink package that Mettaton had brought.

Trent brought it up to Papyrus and you were fairly sure that the tall skeleton had started to sparkle. The short skeleton wedged against your side seemed a little less than pleased. You shot him a look and he returned it with a sheepish grin.

“OOOH WOWIE! I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW THEY MADE METTATON ACTION FIGURES!” Papyrus squealed, it was indeed a mettaton action figure, the calculator one, but apparently it transformed into the hot one judging from the pictures on the box. Mettaton seemed pleased with the reaction and leaned forward to pat Papyrus’ knee.

“Out just in time for the holidays darling. You're my biggest fan so I wanted to make sure you got one of the first!” Papyrus let out a squeal, his face tinting orange as he wrapped his arms around Mettaton in a hug. “OH THANK YOU SO MUCH METTATON! IT PERFECT!”

Well that stumped the star who expression softened as he hugged Papyrus back. You were pretty sure you could hear Sans teeth grinding at the hug going on beside you, though personally you found it really cute.

Especially when the Flustered Mettaton finally broke the hug, his face a tad pinker as he quietly responded. “Anything for you Paps.” his voice a soft purr.

Frisk to the rescue and shoved a yellow box in Sans lap. Good thing too, because he looked about ready to shoot out of his seat and physically separate the two.

Leaning over to read the tag as Sans took a moment to compose himself you saw it was from Alphys. Glancing up the Little lizard looked a bit nervous and was wringing her claws as Sans started to lazily pick at the tape.

Frisk pouted and snapped their fingers causing Sans to chuckle and work faster. Alphys had gotten him a joke book, most of which pertained to fast food and ketchup. Papyrus let out a distraught sigh and Alphys looked nervous before Sans grinned over to her.

“Thanks Alphys, this book looks like a real weiner!”

Than Frisk was off to select the next present. Undyne had been stoked about the Tea sampler set you got her. The fish woman had pulled her girlfriends name  Alphys seemed to be excited about the anime she had received. Though she had promptly turned red and hid it back in the box.

Toriel had sent them quite the glare, but it only caused Undyne to cackle.

Papyrus had pulled Mettaton’s name, though you had suspected that from how frantic he had been. He had gotten Mettaton a palm sized handheld mirror that had ‘Your a Star!’ written around the frame. It was Glittery and Tacky but Papyrus had stammered about how Mettaton was perfect and nothing he could find would be worthy of him but the mirror would at least reflect how great Mettaton was.

You were sure Papyrus would have gone on but Mettaton had thrown his arms around the tall skeleton telling him that HE was perfect. This left a Very flustered Papyrus and a practically growling Sans.

Finally you were presented with a brown paper bag with your name written across the front in a very round and lazy handwriting. It was very Sans.

Picking off the tape you glanced over at the skeleton. He looked a little sheepish and blue was starting to dust his cheeks.

“it aah… took me a while to find so i didn’t have much time to wrap it.” You grinned finally slipping your hand inside and touching what was clearly a book.

You pulled it out and froze when you saw the cover. It was a new copy of the one Deb had destroyed, the one that was still sitting in the brothers living room, half its pages missing.

It wasn’t exactly the same, that one had been paperback, this one had a hard cover. Your fingers trail over the cover, tracing the title and you smile softly.

“i-is it alright?” Sans was quite and the most nervous you had ever heard him. You nod, pulling him into a hug and tuck your face into his shoulder. Without his normal coat you can feel his bones through the sweater but it's not unpleasant. It's kind of nice, how firm and solid he is under all the padding.

Sans chuckles hugging you back and it was only after Undyne lets out a loud wolf whistle that the pair of you realize that you may have hugged for a bit longer than was necessary.  Leaning back you started to sign while the kids sorted out their remaining presents.

***Thank you! It's one of my favorites. I got to take a seminar with the author when I was still in school. This means a lot!***

You were blushing you knew it but you didn’t care. Besides he was blushing to at all the praise.

“heh, it was nothing.” He shrugged it off.

While the kids started to open their gifts your fingers traced the cover once more. You slowly opened it, enjoying the soft creak of a new textbook being opened before the book got fully broken in.

Inside was a little folded up piece of notebook paper.

Your fingers went to it but before you could pick it up Sans hand rested on top of yours and he leaned over to whisper in your ear.

“you should ah… look at that later, after the party.” His voice was so quiet and he was so close that your stomach was doing the nervous fizzy thing. You were almost so focused on his fingers against yours it took you a minute to process the words.

You give a small nod and he retracts his hand and the two of you go back to watching three children destroy Toriels living room with wrapping paper.

The rest of the party was fun and uneventful.

Is what you wish you could say.

Oh it was very fun, and after you and Sans returned Trent and Ash upstairs everyone had made it their personal quest to keep your spirits up. You were pretty sure Undyne had spiked the eggnog.

There was also a magic spear in it.

But you felt the pleasant hum of alcohol and you were not paying quite as much attention as you normally would.

This lead to your current situation, you had been passing Sans on the way to the snack table. Papyrus had let out a gasp, Undyne had started to cackle and you were pretty sure Alphys was scrambling for her phone.

You had both frozen. Slowly, ever so slowly you looked up.

Mistletoe.

You had been casually aware of it this whole time, making a point of avoiding it. Undyne and Alphys seemed to use it as an excuse to smooch but for the most part it had been avoided by everyone.

You were red. You were probably as red as the stripes on your sweater and  as you slowly looked down Sans as a record breaking blue and sweating nervously.

“heh, you don’t have to kid if you don’t want to. can’t even kiss you back, no lips. I mean… it's not like you’d want to...” His grin seemed a little strained, his voice quiet enough that only could really hear it and he was making a point to not look at you. You weren't sure what was coming over you.

Maybe you had gotten a bit of your confidence back, living with the brothers and working again. Maybe the boozy eggnog lowered your axiotis enough to make it look like a good idea. Maybe it was the way he spoke, like he was sure you wouldn’t be caught dead kissing a guy like him.

Maybe you just really wanted an excuse to kiss him, to see what it was like.

As he started to step away the nervous fizzing of your stomach grew. You ignored it and caught his shoulder. He froze, looking up at you and you bit your lip. Slowly, you leaned down. pressing a kiss to one of his cheekbones.

Nervous fizzing was full on butterflies and stomach flips now. It was quick but you could feel the thrum of his magic under your lips. The noise of the room faded as your focus was drawn just to that point of contact for just a moment it was just Sans and you.

Than there was a loud metallic “Oooh Dear~” A loud whoop followed by an ear piercing  whistle, three separate giggles and the sound of a camera as you were pulled back into reality. You shot up, standing ramrod straight, franticly starting to sign.

***is that- was that ok? I should have asked. Sorry! I just-*** You probably would have gone on but there was that pesky camera sound again and you looked down at Sans. His eyes were half lidded, he wore a very soft smile and he was still VERY blue.

“It's all good kiddo, tis the season.” he chuckled. You felt his hand squeeze your hip and your eyes widened, when did that get there! Before you could become too flustered or start to frantically sign again Sans drifted away and you decided to turn your focus onto Undyne, and the bearer of the camera that was hiding behind her.

“Y-you should see the picture! Y-you two were really c-c-cute!” Alphys smiled from behind her girlfriend, holding up her phone.

You glanced behind you, Sans was chatting with Asgore and Mettaton was casually walking with Papyrus towards the snack table. Looks like the coast was clear.

***Send it to me? Also I have regular gifts for you and Undyne outside of Secret Santa***

“O-oh! Y-you didn’t h-have to!” Alphys started and you shook your head.

***We’re friends, besides you built me a phone!***

Before Alphys or you could continue Undyne let out a quiet hiss that sounded like she might owe Frisk dollar for the swear jar.

Turning around the phrase that ran through your head would have had you putting a fiver in.

Mettaton had cornered Papyrus under the mistletoe and had all the looks of a predator about to stalk their prey.

A very deeply blushing, plastic antler wearing prey.

“Come here Papy~ Let's show everyone what a real smooch looks like.”

Before Papyrus could so much as stammer out Mettaton’s name the robot had wrapped an arm around Papyrus back and dipped him into a deep kiss, one of Papyrus legs hooked up over Mettaton's knee and the skeletons hands gripping the robot's shoulders like he was holding on for dear life.

You were pretty sure you saw robot tongue.

The room got colder and there was a slight crackle to the air causing you to look away from the pair to find Sans.

Sans left eye was glowing bright and burning and it looked like the only reason Mettaton still lived was because the king was physically holding the smaller skeleton back.

The tense air was broken by Papyrus, Still flustered by finally released. “WOWIE METTATON! YOU SKIPPED STEPS 1-17 OF THE DATING HANDBOOK!”

Undyne nearly fell on the floor as she cackled and after Mettaton released his brother Sans slowly started to calm down.

You couldn’t help but let out a giggle as a silly grin spread across your face. This has probably been one of the best, most memorable Christmases you have ever had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp that was a silly chapter, heh I suppose I should go write the next one now xD.
> 
> *EDIT* 
> 
> I did a tumblr...  
> [Octogator was Taken so its Allipuss...](http://allipuss.tumblr.com/)  
> so I could share the cruddy arts I drew.


	10. CHAPTER 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The amazing [Maybeapples](http://archiveofourown.org/users/maybeapples/pseuds/maybeapples) Beta'ed this!
> 
> Also I made a tumblr... so I can draw art and post junk... yeah.
> 
>  
> 
> [I doodled the kissing scenes from last chapter...](http://allipuss.tumblr.com/post/135504243659/i-wanted-to-doodle-the-two-kiss-scenes-from-my)

Christmas Day you woke early, more from habit than anything else as you used to be the one who put things under the tree from Santa.

It’s really just five in the morning - way too early for even Papyrus to be waking up. Though you aren't exactly sure when he went to bed; he was so flustered over his kiss with Mettaton. You don’t think he ever stopped blushing.

You were happy for the distraction because it stopped you from thinking about your kiss with Sans. Really, it was just a simple peck, barely intimate, more like a friendly kiss than anything.

You really wanted to do it again. You wanted to know what it would be like, how he would even go about kissing you back.

You sit up and stretch, noticing that the kitchen light is on. You make sure you’re decent - sometimes your shirt rides up or your sleep shorts slip in your sleep - before you stand to see who else is up with you.

Of course it’s Sans.

This is the first time since the kiss the two of you are alone together. Judging by the nervous smile he shoots you from his place by the coffee maker he’s realized that too.

 ***You’re up early,*** You sign before rubbing the remaining sleep from your eyes.

“could say the same to you, thought only one of the parents had to get up to play Sans-ta Claus.” He grins, pulling two mugs off of the drying rack while the coffee pot gurgled.

You wait until he’s angled towards you again. ***You’ve waited a long time for that one.***

“Puns are all about the timing kiddo.” You giggle, and shake your head before your hands move once more.

 ***How long until he wakes up?*** You glance down the hall towards Papyrus’ door.

“Maybe half an hour.” You nod, moving out into the living room to clean up your bedding so you aren't taking up the whole couch.

It's not long until Sans joins you, bringing you out a cup of coffee that you're surprised to find is just the way you like it. Sans puts something mindless on the TV and you enjoy the quiet of Christmas morning and the warmth of your cup.

Your eyes fall to the coffee table and you see the replacement book Sans had gotten you and remember the note.

Setting down the coffee you reach for the book and you feel Sans’ eyes on you. You open the cover and touch the note before glancing back up at Sans.

His eyes are soft and he gives you a little nod. You feel a touch nervous about what it could say as you pick it up, letting the book fall closed .

Glancing at Sans, he is pointedly not looking at you, focusing on his coffee cup.

You open it.

It's, you’ve never seen… writing? Like this, it's more like pictograms than anything. You can tell by the curves on the round shapes and how he doesn't quite lift up his pen from the paper before moving on to the next symbol that Sans wrote this.

You’ve never seen anything like this before. But it almost seems familiar in the spacing, like it's fairly similar to your own language. Your fingers trace over the last line of symbols, spaced in a way that makes you feel like they are three words with another word below them.

You touch that word the longest; it feels familiar, like it was yours. You glance up at Sans when he places his hand on top of yours.

“That's, aah, your name. As for the rest, well… guess you’ll just have to keep the paper around until you can read Wing Dings.” He chuckles, taking the paper from you and folding it back up. He seems pleased and a little melancholy as he tucks it back into the book.

“Makes sense you wouldn’t know it, it's pretty much a monster language and really only used in the science community anymore...” You squeeze his hand and he glances up, his wide grin falling into place as he lets out a laugh.

“Anyway, I guess I’ll teach you how to read it, you’ll need it if you ever want to read monster physics books.”

You smile, giving a little nod before you start to sign.

***I would like that. I want to learn everything about monsters! I didn’t realize you knew so much!***

“eer, well technically I have a PhD - well, I did, not really sure if I should bother getting it accredited… Alphys makes it sound like it’s a lot of trouble.” He chuckles nervously and glances away from you.

You wait, but when it becomes clear he isn’t going to look back you nudge his chin until he’s facing you again, ignoring the dusting of a blush on both of your faces.

***You can’t throw that away! Yeah it would be work, but if you had it you wouldn’t have to work god knows how many jobs! You wouldn’t be so tired all the time!***

“heh you're probably right kiddo. tell ya what.” He pauses, reaching for both of your hands. They fit together so nicely and you can’t help the soft smile that comes to your face at the contact.

“I’ll go through all the hassle of getting my PhD validated. if.” He pauses again, squeezing your hands, leaning close and catching your eyes. He is only a few inches away. His eyes flick to your lips and back to your eyes; for a brief second you think he might kiss you.

“if you go back to school and finish off your masters. heh, maybe go for your doctorate? keep me company?” His voice is so soft, almost a purr, and he leans in a fraction closer. You move forward too, but not enough to close the distance.

This is big… You so desperately missed school, missed learning; and to think that you were so bad at hiding it that he had noticed. Can you afford it? The campus is on the other side of the city, you’d need a car.

There are so many unknowns but you find yourself nodding anyway. Sans seems pleased and he very nearly closes the distance between you two.

“IT’S CHRISTMAS!!!!” Papyrus screams from his room, sending you both shooting away from each other.

Papyrus comes nearly skipping into the living room, paying no mind to the fact that both you and Sans are lit up like Christmas lights. He only has eyes for the tree.

“SANTA CAME!” You can’t stop your fond grin as you watch Papyrus go through the presents.

You thoughts turn upward and you dig out your phone. Did Jerry and Deb put out gifts from Santa? Did Jerry even buy the kids gifts? Trent texted you when they had gotten home but you have no way of knowing.

You have no right, enjoying Christmas Day down here with the brothers while the kids might be having their worst Christmas ever.

You touch your knees to your chest, and start to type. You tell them you love them, and that you wish that you could be up there with them. You also mention that it seemed Santa had mixed up and left a few gifts for them down here on accident.

You had briefly entertained the idea of having Sans teleport them up, but strange gifts appearing in his living room would not go over well with Jerry on the off chance he noticed.

Sans nudges your side and you slip into a smile. It doesn’t reach your eyes, and you know he’s going to notice, but maybe, maybe it’ll be good enough to fool Papyrus. You have to try not to think about it, be happy, it‘s Christmas Day.

Papyrus is narrating some convoluted backstory for his new action figures and you do truly smile at that.

Another nudge has you looking over at Sans, whose hands are held in front of him, and he gives them a little bob to draw your focus.

 ***you ok.*** You're stunned, you don’t think you’ve ever seen him sign before, but he does it in such an easy and fluid motion that it looks like he’s done it often.

You give him a little nod before quickly signing.

 ***I’m fine… just… got lost in thought,*** you respond, finishing with a little shrug.

 ***got to stay empty headed like me,*** He taps his skull with a grin. You giggle and turn your focus back to the present.

In some cases literally.

‘Santa’ - you shoot a glance at Sans and he is pointedly not looking at you - has brought you a fluffy pale blue sweater. It's soft and nearly shimmers and you're pretty sure it's now the nicest sweater you own. Santa sure managed to guess your favorite color.

Papyrus had gifted both you and Sans with dynamic pictures of himself in macaroni frames and you honestly adore it. From Sans’ big grin and sparkling eyes he is clearly happy with his as well.

You had gotten Papyrus a shirt with spaghetti on it and Sans was gifted a pair of skeleton gloves and a matching scarf.

Papyrus is so overjoyed with all the puzzles and action figures Santa brought that you even get to sneak away and make not spaghetti for breakfast.

Though after breakfast you are starting to get antsy; you keep checking your phone and glancing up. Trent and Ash have yet to respond to any of your texts and it’s not like them to sleep this late, especially on Christmas Day.

When the ceiling finally creaks from the sound of someone upstairs moving around you nearly jump. You manage to suppress it into a flinch but you still startle the brothers who were watching some Christmas program on television.

“IT'S ALRIGHT HUMAN! SANTA WAS WISE ENOUGH LEAVE THEIR PRESENTS FOR THEM DOWN HERE! I AM SURE THEY WILL BE ECSTATIC TO COME VISIT WHEN THEIR Errr… Their Jerry… Leaves them unattended.” Papyrus tries to give you a bit of a reassuring grin.

“we’d know if anything went down buddy,” Sans reassures you too. You take a few deep breaths before sinking back into the couch. Maybe the phone just needs to charge, maybe Jerry and Deb were decent and arranged some form of Christmas for the kids.

You nearly calm yourself and convince yourself that the kids are going to be alright and have simply forgotten to check the phone. They’re only five and seven, after all, they likely got distracted.

Needless to say, the loud knock on the door startles everyone.

Papyrus, ever ready, is the first to get up and rush to the door, but something about the way the knock sounded has you on edge, and you’re up following him.

You can feel Sans’ presence behind you, helping put some of your anxiety away.

Until Papyrus opens the door, a big grin on his face and halfway through a “MERRY CHRISTMAS” to reveal a very angry Jerry clutching your old smartphone.

You bite your lip and freeze. Eyes on the phone. You don’t dare look at Jerry proper, afraid of what you will see.

“You little SHIT!” He hisses, ignoring the tall pajama-clad skeleton in front of him.

“Now, I’m sure such language is not necessary!” Papyrus’ voice is firm as he prevents the door from being opened any further.

Jerry gives it a shove anyway, but seven feet of determined skeleton is hard to budge. “This isn’t between me and you, yah freak! Get out of my way and let me fucking talk to them!” Jerry growls, forcing his foot into the doorway to prevent Papyrus from closing the door.

“you're not welcome here bub, specially with language like that.” Sans is in front of you now and you're not sure when that happened. You can see magic crackling over his bones and jacket. If Jerry notices it, he shows no signs and instead growls.

“I SHOULD CALL THE COPS ON THE LOT OF YOU! You’ve been freaking abducting my kids!” He throws the phone at you but before it even makes it halfway across the room it’s engulfed in a blue aura.

“that's rich, coming from you. I’m sure ulna have quite the story to tell em.” The phone lands in Sans’ hand and he looks at it. “Not to mention you just forfeited your evidence.” Sans’ voice holds a smirk, but you focus on his back, trying to will Jerry out of the apartment.

“I DON’T NEED EVIDENCE. I’ll make the kids tell the truth!” Jerry all but screams. You’re sure that Toriel and Frisk can now overhear the conversation. You’re shaking so hard you can barely stand. You take a wobbly step backward as you grip your arms hard, hard enough to bruise, you’re lucky you keep your nails trimmed or you would be bleeding.

“buddy, if you touch those kids you're going to have a bad time.” Sans voice is deep and nearly a growl and he takes a step forward. He’s a good head and a half shorter than Jerry, but whatever his expression is, it’s enough to make the man step backwards enough for Papyrus to finally shut the door.

You fall to your knees and start to sob; you barely register banging and screaming, but maybe it’s better you don’t know what’s being said.

Arms are around you but you didn’t know whose. It’s your fault, they are going to be hurt because of you and you can’t DO anything. Anything you can do may make it impossible for you to ever see them again. Maybe... Maybe that would be better as long as they were out of this. At least then they would be away from danger.

Maybe.

Boney fingers carefully pry your hands from their death grip on your arms before lifting you up. You are still out of it but you’re present enough to recognize it as Papyrus as your feet don’t touch the floor when he picks you up.

His voice is soft. You catch your name a few times and he sets you on the couch, wrapping you in a blanket. He never fully loses contact with you, keeping you grounded talking, giving you something other than your internal thoughts to focus on.

God, what if he hurt them? You’d… You’d… You don’t know what you’d do.

Another sob wracks through your body and you curl in on yourself. You hear humming, and after a while a second set of arms are around you and another voice is in your ear.

It takes you a while to focus, you don’t know how many times he repeats it. The kids were fine, they were safe, Jerry wasn’t in the building right now.

The kids were fine, they were safe.

They were with Toriel right now. Jerry was gone and so was Deb.

Breathe, he puts your hand on his chest so you can follow his breath. Why does a Skeleton even need to breathe? Yet the slight movement of his ribcage gives you something else to focus on.

Another breath and you open your eyes. They burn; were you really crying that much? Your face feels hot and you feel tired. It isn’t even noon.

Another and you focus on your surroundings.

Your back is to Papyrus’ chest, he’s still humming and has a loose hold on you.

Sans is in front of you, holding one of your hands to his chest. He looks so worried, so upset. He is so close, his free hand on your face wiping away your dried tears.

You need water, you need to right yourself so you can go see the kids for yourself.

One more breath and you pull Sans into a hug, leaning back against Papyrus.

“ya back with us kiddo?” You squeeze him tighter, not ready to let go yet, and give a little nod. Beyond the coat there is next to no give to him, he is solid and firm. He grounds you.

Papyrus wraps his long arms around you both and squeezes you both tight before removing himself from the hug pile.

He isn’t gone long, back in minutes with a glass of water. You have yet to let go of Sans, but you do when Papyrus offers you the glass. You drink it and manage to pull yourself into a partial calm.

At least enough that you could sign.

***I haven't… had one that bad in a while. I’m sorry.***

You feel finger bones on your arm and you look to see Sans tracing a fresh bruise from where you gripped yourself.

“don’t be sorry kid. it's not your fault. tibia honest, didn’t think he had the guts to come down here.”

You let out a shaky breath before you gesture above, a silent question. Sans looks a little sheepish but gives you a shrug. “i’m… good at not being noticed if i don’t want to be. he went up and yelled at the woman before he stormed out. she left shortly after.”

You nod and let your eyes sag shut. You are so tired. You don’t bother to open your eyes to check and see if they are watching your hands as you sign.

 ***I need to do something… It would be better for them in child services than with Jerry.*** It hurts to think, it hurts to sign. They at least need to start the investigation, maybe it will put enough pressure for Jerry to be good.

“I think that is wise, human.” Papyrus gives you a gentle pat on the back and Sans pulls you into a hug.

“we will help any way we can kiddo. now how about you get cleaned up so the kids can come over and see what Santa left ‘em?”

You smile; it's a weak and fragile thing but you manage. With a nod you open your eyes and glance from brother to brother before signing.

** *Thank you.* **


	11. CHAPTER 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The amazing [Maybeapples](http://archiveofourown.org/users/maybeapples/pseuds/maybeapples) Beta'ed this!
> 
> I want you all to know that 3:40am is a perfectly normal time to post a chapter and you shouldn't judge me. Also I love you all.
> 
> I have a tumblr now...  
> [Octogator was taken so It's Allipuss.](http://allipuss.tumblr.com/)  
> [Oooh and I was asked to draw that one scene from readers first day of work...](http://allipuss.tumblr.com/post/135703618094/also-could-you-maybe-please-draw-that-spider-cafe)

It’s nerve wracking figuring out what to say… well, write. You sit on the couch while the kids and Papyrus play with their new toys, a notebook in your lap as you write down everything you need said.

It was agreed that Toriel would probably be the best one to make the call and be your voice. She is calm and has years of practice in keeping calm. You saw hints of Sans’ anger and Papyrus is filled with enthusiasm, you don’t want to drag the brothers into something you knew would be unpleasant.

So you sit there, next to Sans while Papyrus puts on a ‘battle’ simulation with his action figures. Frisk is ‘helping’ but they keep having their warrior flirt with everyone else’s.

It’s sweet and cute. How kids’ lives should be, not…

Not what it is.

You turn back to your notebook.

You kept track of every time Jerry and Deb left the children in the apartment alone. You even took a picture of the door locks.

You wrote down almost everything you could think of to help plead your cause.

But you left some things out.

Sans leans in, reading your newest additions to the page. Though it’s several at this point. He lets out a sigh and you don’t need to look to know that his smile has drooped slightly.

“you're not going to tell them?” his voice is quiet, meant for you alone. Though he could likely speak normally and it wouldn’t draw much attention.

You turn so your hands will only really be seen clearly by Sans, but still, you hold them just barely above the paper as you sign.

***I have no proof… This is about the kids, not what he’s done to me.*** You pause, taking a shaky breath, rubbing your eyes to try and push back whatever tears you still have. ***They don’t need to know how weak I am.***

He grabs your hands almost as soon as you sign it. His grip is almost uncomfortably tight, but only for a moment. Once his grip loosens, he takes a few breaths before talking.

“you are not weak. thats his poison talking. you’re strong, patient, and smarter than you think you are, you’ve had to raise yourself, had to raise those two. you're the kindest, most tolerant human i know. you’re amazing.”

You don’t look up, focusing on his hands while he speaks, tracing your fingers over his phalanges and over the palm of his metacarpals. There isn’t really much space between them, not like a human hand - they are almost fused in places and are held together by magic in others.

You don’t want to look up, you want to hide the feeling in your face, but you know your eyes won’t hold whatever lie you try to tell. The way he says those words... he believes them, says them with such conviction a small part of you wants to believe them, too.

Your fingers get to his wrist, his other hand falling into your lap, resting on you knee as he leans in further.

He practically breathes your name, it’s so quiet, but the way it sounds in his deep voice startles you into finally, no longer caring about him seeing the deep flush, the care on your face, the tiny tears in the corners of your eyes at being praised so thoroughly.

His breath catches and you’re glad to not be the only one flushing - his face isn’t holding his normal guarded smile; this smile is soft and fragile and directed at you. His eyes drink you in, and he tugs his hand out of yours to cup your cheek, the firm bones of his thumb swiping under your eye to catch one of your unshed tears.

He says your name again, his eyes half lidded as his hand shifts and his thumb teases the corner of your mouth. “you’re…” He takes a breath and closes his eyes. When they open again, he’s back to himself and is leaning away from you.

You miss the contact, miss the feeling of his bones on your face. It must show, because his mask nearly falls.

“i’ll tell you later,” he grins, before pointedly looking at the four playing on the floor.

“if you’re ready, shall we go have Tori make the call?” You nod before signing.

***You’ll be there?***

“if you want me to be.”

***I… I think I need you there.*** As kind and loving as Toriel is, she is not your rock, not like Sans is; you need his solid force there, to provide support, help you keep it all together.

He grins and nods before responding. “then i’ll be there, as long as you need me, wouldn’t want you getting bonely.” You giggle. The tender moment over, you shove him lightly and look back down at your notebook.

***let's do this.***

Toriel is something. You can really see how she could have been a queen as she speaks with such authority. She paces the living room, occasionally glancing at your notebook, or repeating a question for you to sign the answer to.

You sit and fidget next to Sans on the couch. This is hard, emotionally draining, and you aren't even the one talking to the person.

When it is finally over you breathe a sigh of relief. They will come and investigate. Not today, it’s Christmas Day and since the children are not physically harmed they aren't going to pull someone from their family. But it still feels like a weight has been lifted.

They will want to interview all of you, it’s going to be hard and you feel bad about having to ask the others to help you with this.

The worst part, however, is that you have to return the children for the time being, at least until the investigation was underway.

Toriel’s voice is firm when she argues this but eventually she concedes.

It will look bad if you take the children and the police get involved, and Deb threatened you with her connection so if the police do come it will likely be messy.

Sans tinkered with the phone a bit - the screen is cracked but it still works just fine. It will go back up with the kids and hopefully Jerry won’t find it this time. Trent was so upset, they fell asleep with the phone. Apparently, they tried to call your mother after the Christmas party.

It breaks your heart that they are still so hopeful that she will call back, talk to them. It would be a lie to say you don’t miss her too. Not as deeply as the children, but they don’t truly know her, know how she is.

It doesn’t help.

After Toriel finishes the call you take up your phone and dial her number. It’s now or never, you are going to need all the help you can get and it will just be so much easier if she claims the children, or surrenders custody to you. Or, well… anything.

It rings.

And rings

And rings.

Before it finally goes to voicemail. You listen to her message, some cheery ‘can’t get to the phone right now’ before it beeps over to the answering machine.

You let out a breath, and stay silent. After a moment you hang up and stand You want to spend as much of Christmas Day as you can with Trent and Ash before sending them back upstairs.

It was been nice, a few hours or fun and playing. Toriel produced a pie and you made tea. It was nice. You consider sitting the kids down and explaining to them what might happen now. About Child Services investigating, how they might have to go to a foster home for a little while, how nothing might happen.

But you can’t - they are children, you shouldn’t tell them your fears like that. It’s bad enough you pulled the brothers and now Toriel into this.

The least you can do was continue to protect the kids.

You don’t cry when they go back upstairs, where they’re ‘grounded’ again. You feel numb, almost dead inside. You want to sink into the couch and just stay there. The brothers stay with you the rest of that day, talking and trying to keep your mind off of things. It doesn’t help much but you appreciate it, you really do.

They will come on Monday, will want to talk to Jerry, the kids, maybe Deb. Then they will come and talk to you and your monster friends and get your statements. Then you aren't sure how long it will take, what will happen.

Sunday. The day before everything happens you don’t know what to do with yourself. You clean, you read, you consider sitting down and learning some wingdings with Sans but you just can’t focus on any one thing that long.

You need to be doing something.

So you collect the laundry, yours and the brothers’. Sans fills his basket rather than let you have full reign of his room - you have caught glimpses before and know how messy it is.

You don’t blame him, in the state you are in he probably thinks that if he lets you in you will clean it. Hell, you probably would.

Sans has to go to work at one of his jobs. The last few times he would hang out with you down in the laundry room while you waited for the loads to finish, but this time he can’t.

You aren't expecting the hug.

Usually you are the one to start them, unless you are having an episode. It’s brief and you can’t really return it as you have a basket of laundry in your hands.

“don’t wear yourself out kid, wouldn’t kill yeah to take a load off.” You can hear the grin in his voice and you can’t help but snort.

Pulling back he grins up at you. “yeah, i know that one was a bit of a wash. but i figured i’d dry.”

That gets a full laugh out of you. And a shrieked “BROTHER, STOP THIS!” from Papyrus.

You don’t know what you would do… if you didn’t have these amazing people holding you together.

You… probably wouldn’t still be giggling over laundry puns on your way down to the apartments’ basement with Papyrus.

It’s an older building, not quite old enough to be considered one of the expensive ‘historical’ ones, but not new enough to have a washer and dryer in every apartment. Instead there is a communal laundry in the basement as well as all the maintenance supplies.  It’s cute and well cared for. The people who own it are stern but fair, and the guy who plays the part of manager, landlord, maintenance and janitor is an older man, with what little hair he has left gray and most of it on his face.

He is the Super and as often as Jerry goes down to yell at him about every little thing, you are surprised that Jerry still has an apartment. You feel ashamed… you never really took the time to know the guy’s name but he always waves and gives you a curt little nod whenever you see him. He isn’t exactly a man of many smiles.

He is fixing one of the dryers along the far wall and gives you and Papyrus a grunt when the two of you enter.

It’s quiet, well, relatively quiet, considering you are with Papyrus who is enamored with what the Super is doing. Well, on the bright side, you find out his name is Paul.

It has been about an hour and it is time to move the load to the dryer. You are fishing out one of Sans’ hoodies - they get fairly heavy when wet - when you hear the clicking of heels.

You don’t think much about it, lots of ladies in the apartment complex wear them, and this is a communal laundry room. Besides, one of the sleeves got stuck under the agitator and you’re trying to get it unhooked without ripping it.

Someone with what feels like claws grabs you by the back of your neck and pulls you up, practically throwing you around to face them.

Deb.

Deb with a very impressive black eye, make-up running from where she was crying. You try to keep the pity off your face, you know from experience how badly it hurts when someone gives you that look.

“This is all your fault! You stupid brat! I had Jer bear wrapped around my finger, he didn’t even care that I barely watched those little beasts of his.” You glance around, but the laundry room is empty.

That’s right, Paul went to get a part and Papyrus wanted to see the maintenance room.

It’s just you.

You and this woman who looks like she wants to stuff you in the washer. She’s growling and you shake your head, pointing at her eye.

“What's wrong? Cat got your tongue, precious?” she hisses, taking a step closer to you. You flinch at every click of her heels as you back up.

You point again and she laughs. Why doesn’t she get it, it wasn’t you, it wasn’t the kids. Jerry is the one that hurt her, you can see the imprint from his wedding band leaving a slightly darker mark on her brow.

You know how badly that has hurt.

“You just had to go and tattle, my poor darling was so angry when Child Services called to schedule a meeting.” She touches her brow and sends you a dirty look, the grin she’s giving you anything but friendly.

“Doesn't take a genius to know you called them. HAH, you probably had one of your monster friends do it, you're too cowardly to talk for yourself.”

She pulls you up by the collar of your shirt; she’s just a bit taller than you but with those heels it’s a decent height - you are on your tiptoes.

“I bet your mommy left cause she was a coward like you. And those brats, I bet they’ll be too stupid and scared to say anything to the investigator.” You feel her claw-like nails dig into your skin and you grip her wrists trying to pull her hands away.

“Hah, I bet your daddy couldn’t stand the sight of you, I bet that’s why he-” She’s laughing as she speaks but you don’t want to hear it. You kick out, and she falls off of her stupidly high heels. Her grip pulls you down with her as she screams.

No.

How does she know. Did Jerry know? Did you mother tell him?

“You fucking-” Deb rolls until she’s on top of you and her fist is pulled back. You move your head enough so that it’s a glancing blow and you reach up to cover her mouth. She has no right to talk about him like that. She didn’t KNOW him.

She bites and you gasp, her hands are around your throat now and she shakes you. You push at her. Your fingernails short and doing little damage, you decide to grab a fistful of her hair instead.

You vision is hazy and you desperately need a breath. You see stars every time she hits your head against the floor.

You don’t stop struggling. You aren't going to lay down and take this from her. You aren't going to let her talk about your father like that. Like she knew him, like she knows how he...

No.

Very suddenly she is off you and you suck air into your burning lungs.

“You’re Jerry’s little tart, ain't ya?” Paul’s voice is rough and gravelly and you honestly don’t think you’ve ever heard him speak before.

“Unhand me you FREAK! THEY STARTED IT! I want you to call the cops and have them arrested!” You look and see Papyrus holding Deb up about a foot off the floor as if she weighed nothing.

“HUMAN, I HIGHLY DOUBT MY FRIEND WOULD START SUCH AN ALTERCATION.” Papyrus’ voice is harder than you have ever heard it and when you look at his face, his eyes are hard as he glares at the female.

He does, however, put her down.

She scrambles digging for her phone.

“Y’see, I known this kid for near five years, and they been living here for almost three. I ain’t saying you’re lying lady, but I’m pretty sure I know what I’m going to see when I look at them security cameras.”  Paul points to one of the corners of the laundry room.

Sure enough, there’s a little black camera. You remember when he installed them after about a month of someone stealing other people's laundry. You feel firm boney hands around your shoulder and suddenly you’re upright, though you still clutch at Papyrus’ arms until you get your balance.

Deb looks from the three of you, to her phone, to the camera and back. She snorts before turning on her heel and all but stomping out.

Once she is out of sight Papyrus turns to you, back to his normal sweet self. “Friend, you are bleeding and your skin is turning colors, are you alright?!” You gave a short nod, but you are still dizzy from your head hitting the floor. Instead, you decide to squeeze your eyes shut and sign.

***Yeah. She… Said some things. And blamed me and the kids. I…*** Then it hits you. You didn’t just sit and let her beat you, you defended yourself, tried to make her stop. You stood up for yourself. The adrenaline is fading and your body hurts in places.

But you…

***I defended myself.***

Papyrus grins and sweeps you up into a hug, spinning you around. It’s a little much, as your head still hurts like hell, but you manage. “NYEH HEH HEH! You did, human!” He gives you a thoughtful look before his grin widens.

“UNDYNE AND MYSELF SHOULD TRAIN YOU! SO THAT YOU MAY BETTER DEFEND YOURSELF!”

You shake your head, a small grin on your face. You don’t know if you should go that far, you aren't the fighting type and you doubt you would ever be very effective.

“Yeah want me to save a copy of that tape, kid? You can still call the cops on her if ya want. Maybe you should.”

You think for a moment before nodding and then shaking your head. Paul looks a little confused so you turn to Papyrus and start to sign.

“WE WOULD LIKE A COPY OF THE TAPE SUPER HUMAN. BUT FOR NOW THEY DON’T WISH POLICE TO BE INVOLVED.”

This gets a grunt and a nod from Paul, and Papyrus all but refuses to let you finish the laundry. Instead you sit on one of the unused dryers and listen to Papyrus and Paul chatter. You are… maybe just a tiny bit proud of yourself.

You aren't going to let your anxiety and fear take that away.


	12. CHAPTER 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The amazing [Maybeapples](http://archiveofourown.org/users/maybeapples/pseuds/maybeapples) Beta'ed this!
> 
> This is a lot later then I planed to have it posted but holidays be crazy yo! Also I think one of my friends gave me the flu for Christmas... such a thoughtful present. 
> 
> I have a tumblr now...  
> [Octogator was taken so It's Allipuss.](http://allipuss.tumblr.com/)  
> [AvertingAwkwardness](http://archiveofourown.org/users/AvertingAwkwardness/pseuds/AvertingAwkwardness) Made a  ~~mixtape~~  [Playlist!](http://8tracks.com/kidicarusuprising/i-m-fine-a-fanmix-for-a-sans-reader-fanfiction)  
> [Also. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!](http://maybeapples.tumblr.com/post/136001167908/am-i-in-this-fandoms-trash-pile-yet-because-i)

You look at your phone, delete the half-written text and stare blankly at your contacts. Sans will be home soon; you have yet to tell him what happened with Deb. You have made several attempts, but you didn’t really want to disturb him at work.

It has been a particularly heated conversation with Toriel about healing the bruises and scratches. You wanted to leave them - them and the tape would prove Deb was not suitable to watch the kids. As much as she hated to leave you injured, she agreed that it would be damning evidence if you left them. 

You’re staring at your phone, another half text written out trying to tell Sans what happened, when you feel the couch depress beside you.

“how was your day kiddo -” Sans pauses mid-sentence when you look up at him. 

His eyes have gone black but you can feel them on you. You know where he is looking and your hand moves to touch the bruise on your cheek and the one around your neck shaped very clearly like a hand.

He starts to shake as he leans forward, the air thick and crackling with magic as his fingers follow the path yours just took until he grazes them over the ugly bruise on your throat, resting his palm against it. He sucks in a breath and suddenly his eye is on fire.

“w-who?” his breath is dark and quiet and holds a promise of suffering for anyone who crosses him.

You bring your hands up, hesitating, you can’t decide if you want to touch him or sign.

***I’m fine.*** You flinch, the bite on your hand stinging as your hand forms the words. You flinch again when his burning gaze turns to your bandaged hand. Swallowing, you continue to sign, this time being more careful of your injured hand.

***It’s not that bad. It’s a good thing-*** Then, Sans’ hands catch yours, unwrapping the bandage to look at the bite.

“you being hurt is NEVER a good thing.” His finger bones gently trace over the teeth-shaped bruise and the small scabs where she broke the skin. “don’t EVER say that… please.” 

His voice cracks as he speaks and you can’t help but reach forward to cup his chin. Tilting his head up to look at you, you slowly give him a single nod. You won't say it again. 

“what… happened,” Sans grinds out, eye still burning fiercely. You wonder if it hurts when his eye does that - his expression holds a hint of pain. You try to pull your injured hand back to sign, but he doesn’t seem willing to let go.

Signing awkwardly with your off hand, you repeat the motions from before more firmly.  ***I’M FINE.***

When that only gets a slight growl from him, you tug his hands to you, pressing one of his boney hands against your sternum and the other against the side of your neck as he moves closer. His fingers are still wrapped around your hand and he doesn’t seem willing to give you back your hands anytime soon, so you hope this works.

It does get his attention. Sans goes slightly blue, his eye finds yours and you wait a beat; he looks like he’s about to say something, but instead you tighten your grip on his hands.

And breathe. You take in a long, slow, deep breath, hold it before letting it out. Sans shoots you a look of confusion.

“kiddo what-” You silence him with a shake of your head and repeat the breath. By the third breath he gets it, he’s breathing with you, and the glow is finally fading.

After a short time, his eyes fade to normal and a sad smile is on his face. Letting out another breath, he leans forward until his forehead touches yours.

“jeez kid, you're pretty good at that,” his voice breaks the silence. You feel his thumb move, tracing the line of the bruising around your neck. It makes you shiver and blush darkly at the touch… It feels good to have him be this close.

He seems much calmer, though there is still a hint of rage in his eyes, in the way they keep flashing to your bruised cheek and neck. He lets you pull your hands away this time, watching as you lean back and start to sign.

***Wait till the end to get mad.*** You give him a stern look and wait until he nods, letting his own hands fall into his lap.

***Paps was helping Paul, the Super. Deb came up and pulled my hair. Said things. Scratched.*** You hesitate but then pull the neck of your sweater down to expose the scratches from her nails. Sans sucks in a breath and you see his hands clench into fists. Before he does or says anything, you release your neckline and start signing again.

***I knocked her down and then we fought. Paul gave us a copy of the tape, it shows she started it, shows she’s not fit to look after Trent and Ash. That's why I wouldn’t let Tori heal me. I’m evidence, the tape’s evidence.***

You finish and for a moment it looks like Sans might lose control again. His eye flickers a few times, but he lets out a deep sigh. “this would be so much easier if i could just dunk on them. Jerry fucking deserves it, after what he’s put you through and now… that bitch.” You’re startled by the language, and the force behind it. You place a hand on his chest, where his heart would be if he had one. It seems to ground him; you were half afraid he would teleport away and do something.

The door slams open and you both jump. 

“HUMAN! BROTHER!”

As Papyrus comes in, you let your hand fall into your lap and smile a greeting. Sans grunts and gives a half-hearted wave to his brother.

“BROTHER! THE HUMAN FOUGHT THE DEB BEAST! AND THEN THE SUPER HUMAN GIFTED US WITH A RECORDING OF THE EVENT.”

With the arrival of Papyrus, Sans manages to slip into a better mood… Well, at least put his fake smile back on as Papyrus does a dramatic retelling of how he had come in to see the Deb beast strangling you while you clawed and kicked before Papyrus intervened. He even comments on how badly Deb was limping when she left, which was something you had not noticed at the time.

It’s agreed that it would probably not be a great idea to watch the video. You were a part of it, and by the end of his retelling even Papyrus notices that Sans is barely holding his anger in check.

The three of you settle in for a quiet night of movies and spaghetti, doing your best not to think about the events of the day, or what tomorrow would hold. If Deb’s reaction was that awful, you’re afraid of what Jerry will do if the children are taken.

He may not care much about them, but he is very possessive; you are a little afraid he might try something. But Trent said he was being good today, being extra nice and friendly to the kids, and that Deb was being quiet.

Papyrus goes to sleep at his normal time, but you are far too high strung to go to sleep. You’re worried about tomorrow, and fear that it might not go as well as you hope. Maybe the tape won’t mean anything, won't do anything.

Maybe it will only piss off Jerry and he will hurt the kids.

You don’t want that to happen.

You’re pulled out of it by weight leaning against your shoulder. You gather your thoughts and glance over at Sans.

He’s fallen asleep and his posture shifted enough for him to be leaning against you slightly, his head resting on your shoulder.

Well… now you are very focused on the present. You love it when you catch Sans sleeping - his forced smile loosens and he looks so peaceful. Having him this close is… nice. You don’t even have to worry about how red your face is, or getting caught staring as he snores lightly beside you.

He is always so calming to be around. He really is your rock - he keeps you grounded, keeps your thoughts from spiralling too dangerously.

You aren't sure how long you sit there just watching him, but soon you find your eyes getting heavy and sleep calling your name. You shift ever so slowly until you can lean back against him, resting your cheek on top of his skull as you doze off listening to some MTT rerun and the sound of the skeleton snoring next to you.

You briefly wonder how that works before you slip off.

 

You wake up in a slightly different position.

Sometime during the night you must have shifted because when you wake up your face is buried in a familiar fluffy coat and something firm. You breathe in the comforting scent and smile against the coat before your mind fully wakes up.

You burrow slightly against it and a deep giggle rumbles under you.

Now you are awake. You flush darkly and sit up; you’re half laying on Sans who is at least as blue as you are red. “sorry kid, i’m ticklish, didn’t mean to wake you.”

***I didn’t mean to fall asleep like that! I’m so sorry!*** you sign shakily before covering your face with your hands.

“heh, don’t sweat it kid, i kinda fell asleep on your bed anyway.” Sans is back to his ever cool and casual self. Peeking through your fingers, you see he’s still blushing but less so, his focus back on the television that was switched over to the morning news.

It’s covering some report about some of the still active hate groups. Thankfully this city is fairly safe, mostly vandalism and dirty looks. Though there is occasionally an attack, they were getting rarer.

You don’t want to hear about how bad it is in the next city over, so you decide to get up and start on breakfast.  

The person from Child Services won’t be here until noon and it’s only… you glance over at the microwave clock as you stand in front of the fridge. 

It’s only 7:30. Huh… Papyrus should be up by now. You pull out a packet of bacon and the carton of eggs. You hope he didn’t see you and Sans… for lack of a better word… cuddling on the couch. It was embarrassing enough with just the two of you.

You’re glad you don’t have work today, but that leaves you with at least five hours of nearly nothing to do besides fret and wait.

For now, you put your focus into making eggs and bacon for the three of you.

Papyrus joins you shortly after you start cooking. After breakfast, Frisk demands you come over and color with them. It’s a nice distraction, drawing in crayons with the child while you wait for noon to roll around.

It starts with a phone call. You nearly drop your phone, you’re so nervous, fingers slamming the speakerphone as you hold it out for everyone to hear.

Toriel comes closer, prepared to be your voice.

“Is this Trent and Ash’s older sibling?” A cool female voice answers on the other end.

“Yes. This is Toriel, I am acting as their voice,” Toriel responds easily without you needing to prompt her.

“I see. I will be stopping by to speak with them and the neighbors before I speak with Jerry and the children,” the voice responds. “I’ll be there shortly.”

The representative is a cool business-like woman with a no-nonsense attitude. Her name is Lisa and she is very hard to read. She prefers you write your responses rather than have Toriel or Sans speak for you. Sans isn’t terribly happy that she insists on speaking with everyone one on one.

In all honestly, you would have prefered to have one of them beside you. Lisa is… fairly intimidating. But despite all of that, she makes it very clear that the safety and happiness of the children is forefront.

You explain about Deb and give her the tape. She insists on taking pictures of the bruising and highly recommends you report the assault. 

She has similar one-on-ones with Toriel, Papyrus, Sans, and even Frisk before she heads upstairs. 

As soon as she is in the elevator, all of you move over to the brothers’ apartment, waiting and shooting glances at the ceiling. Nobody needs to mention why you are there. Papyrus and Frisk draw, Toriel is puttering around the brothers’ kitchen and you take up pacing.

Sans watches you from the couch. It’s deathly quiet, the silence only broken by the scratch of crayon against paper and the tapping of your shoes against the floor.

You hear the knock and voices. They rise and fall before they go quiet.

That makes you nervous. Lisa had promised to tell you what she decided to do. You’re chewing your lip while you stare at the ceiling. You almost bite through your lip when you hear the yelling.

It’s too muffled to make out but it’s clearly Jerry and he is not happy. With a glance at the others, Sans is on his feet now and everyone else is frozen.

Another yell; stomping. A raised female voice followed by Deb’s shriek and the sound of a door slamming. It is very quiet for a moment and then there is the sound of something breaking and the raised voices of Jerry and Deb.

Trent and Ash come running in, followed quickly by Lisa. You drop to your knees and hug them, daring to hope.

Lisa clears her throat, and when you look up at her she gives you a melancholy smile.

Oh…

You can’t help but tighten your hold on the kids. Ash is crying and Trent is very quiet.

“They will be placed in a foster home for the time being,” Lisa speaks.

“WHY can’t we stay with them?!” Trent turns in your arms to yell at her. “We love them! We’re happy with them! They’re our FAMILY!” 

Lisa takes a deep breath and rubs her forehead. “We need to try and contact your mother.” She takes a breath and looks away. It isn’t until you feel a boney hand on your back that you realize you are shaking and crying.

“I’m sorry, you’ll be able to visit. If we can’t get ahold of your mother, I will do what I can to get them placed with you if you can prove you can provide a safe home.” Lisa does look apologetic. 

“We do not mind them staying with us, we care for them deeply,” Toriel speaks from the kitchen. 

“yeah, we took them in, we’d be happy to take the kids in,” Sans adds as Papyrus gives a sharp nod of agreement.

“As… kind as that is of you, I don’t think they are safe here.” Sans starts to growl at Lisa’s words but the woman does not budge. “Their father is not… pleased. I would rather them placed in a location he is not aware of.”

Sans grunts his understanding and you feel a few hot tears running down your face. 

Bittersweet.

It’s bittersweet, they are away from Jerry but not with you.

“Can they come play?” Ash’s little voice squeaks from where they are pressed against you.

Lisa takes a breath but nods. “Yes, once you are placed I’ll tell them the location, they will be able to visit you. I would rather get you out sooner rather than later.”

As if to reinforce this, another slam comes from upstairs, and more yelling.

You give a defeated nod and stand. Ash and Trent have yet to really let go of you. You glance back at Sans and hold up your hands. He gives a nod, understanding what you want.

“kid says they want to be able to keep in contact with them.” Sans pauses and looks down at Trent. “You still got your cell buddy?”

Trent digs in their pocket before producing it. Lisa nods at this. “That's understandable. The home I intend to place them in is not far from here, run by an older couple. I doubt they will mind if you visit. I’ll…” She pauses and clears her throat, suddenly a lot less cold-looking than she was before.

“Look, I know you love them, I know this will be hard, but there are laws, things that have to be done. I’m on your side, but we have to do this by the book.” She turns and takes a few steps to the door.

“Trent, Ash, we should get going.” Lisa is suddenly all business again. Honestly, you don’t blame her for wanting to get the kids out of there quickly. 

You just wish…

It's not over yet, you tell yourself as you pick Trent and Ash up, following Lisa. You think you see a twitch of a smile on the woman's face before she turns to lead the way to her car. 

Frisk and all the monsters come as well, standing on the freshly shoveled sidewalk as both of the kids wave at you. Even Lisa gives your group a half-wave before she drives off.

You stare after them, feeling numb and empty on the inside, but not as bad as the night you were kicked out.

This doesn’t feel like abandoning them. But you are still not able to be there for them like you should.

You take a deep breath. It's starting to snow. It's cold, but you don’t care. You don't want to go back inside. What if the kids don’t like the foster parents? What if they’re mean? What if Lisa was just saying all that? What if Jerry manages to get the kids back?

What if they find your mom?

A small pair of arms wraps around your leg. Two pairs of boney arms find a place, one around your shoulders, one around your waist; finally, a big set of furry arms squeezes you all together.

It will be ok, you have your friends. They have you, they’ll help you. You have to believe it will be ok.

“Do not worry, my child, that woman has a strong sense of justice and a good soul,” Toriel offers before gently nudging you all back towards the building. 

“she was awfully guarded Tori, and cold towards us,” Sans huffs Both he and Papyrus still have hands on you. Toriel shoots Sans a glare as they scoop up Frisk before she speaks again.

“Yes, well, I’m sure it’s not an easy job. She kept all of us at a distance, not just the monsters, Sans,” Toriel responds and Sans grumbles. You feel his hand squeeze you lightly.

You take a breath, gathering yourself, and loop an arm over his shoulder, tugging him closer. You may be blushing darkly and his cheeks might be dusting blue but you ignore it. You do the same to Papyrus, hooking your arms around his ribs, pausing outside of the elevator door to hug them tightly.

“IT WILL BE ALRIGHT FRIEND, LISA DID NOT FEEL LIKE A BAD HUMAN.” Papyrus, needing little to no excuse for a hug, scoops both you and Sans up, stepping into the elevator with a huge grin and a “NYEH HEH HEH!” 

You’re pretty sure Toriel and Frisk are giggling.


	13. CHAPTER 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The amazing [Maybeapples](http://archiveofourown.org/users/maybeapples/pseuds/maybeapples) Beta'ed this!
> 
> HOI! This monster is like... two pages away from being 100 pages in my master document.
> 
> I have a tumblr now...  
> [Octogator was taken so It's Allipuss.](http://allipuss.tumblr.com/)  
> 

\---

CHAPTER 13

\---

The week has been fairly… odd.

While in or near the building Sans or Papyrus would stick close to you. That wasn’t terribly out of the norm though, it WAS a small apartment.

Really, you appreciated it; you didn’t want to be alone with your thoughts and your anxiety, you didn’t want to think about things too much while things were looking up.

During work, though.

Sans would always walk you home, insisting he didn’t mind. Let's be honest, you didn’t protest very hard; you liked the quiet moments you two share. Alphys and Undyne popped in one day, Toriel, Frisk and Papyrus, another. Even Asgore stopped by once, though at least he had been just as surprised to see you as you were to see him.

You couldn’t shake the feeling that someone was watching you.

Not the way your friends were, they were not nearly as subtle as they thought they were, but you felt eyes on you. Especially when you were walking home with Sans. You could never pinpoint it but it kept you on edge.

You think Sans might feel them too, or pick up on your nerves because whenever you felt them he would pull you into the closest alley and teleport you home. You hated when he did that; he seemed so tired lately, and you feel like teleporting two adults so often takes its toll on him.

The kids were actually fairly happy. The couple fostering them lived in the same complex as MK and several other classmates, and they were happy to hang out with friends again. You visited twice. The couple were nice enough and had two other kids with them at this time. Both a bit older than Trent.

Lisa contacted you several times in the effort to locate your mother and keeps you updated as much as she could. Toriel had been right about the sense of justice, that woman was on a witch hunt.

When she found out you intended to return to college soon she started sending you apartment listings near the University as ‘suggestions’ of what would be appropriate housing and area for children. 

Lisa was trying to help in her own way, it seemed. Though the thought of moving away from the brothers was not a happy one. You KNOW you're not ready to be on your own yet… But it's not like Trent and Ash can live on the brothers’ couch with you. The nice three and four bedroom apartments and houses that Lisa kept sending you listings for were nice to dream about though.

It has been odd… And it's only Thursday.

New Years Eve.

You enter the apartment with Sans, having just finished your last shift for this year. Muffet even gave you the first off, so you were free until the weekend.

Not that you plan to do more than hang around with the boys.

But apparently Papyrus has plans. 

You nearly bump into Sans as he freezes in the doorway. Looking over his shoulder, you see Papyrus in a pair of slacks, an open button-up and with a selection of ties in his hand.

Your entrance appears to have startled him mid-rant as he slowly turns to look at Sans and yourself. He certainly looks flustered, and perhaps a bit scandalized at being caught in the act of… picking out a nice outfit?

“what’cha doin bro?” Sans chuckles, stepping into the apartment and heading to the couch.

“Um. Well…” Papyrus blushes while he starts to button up his shirt. “I’M SURE IT WILL COME TO NO SURPRISE TO YOU THAT I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, HAVE BEEN ASKED OUT ON A DATE FOR NEW YEARS’!”

You glance at Sans - his grin looks a tad strained - before you turn and grin at Papyrus, raising your hands.

***That's great Paps! Who with!*** You sign before taking off your coat and heading to the closet. 

“A VERY GREAT FRIEND! DARE I SAY HE IS ALMOST AS GREAT AS MYSELF.”

Oh.

“Papyrus…tell me it's not…” Sans groans out.

“METTATON!” Papyrus is beaming and is either oblivious to or ignoring his brother’s almost murderous look. 

“Papyrus,” Sans’ voice grinds out. Slowly, you move to sit beside him, not touching, but close enough that he knows you are there.

“HE WANTED TO MAKE IT UP TO ME SINCE HE SKIPPED SO MANY STEPS OF THE DATING MANUAL! SO HE IS TAKING ME TO ONE OF HIS RESTAURANTS AND THEN THE REST IS A SURPRISE!” Papyrus sounds so excited, you’re sure he is practically rattling with all of the energy. Sans, on the other hand, is making a very interesting grinding sound with his very forced smile.

“that's… great, Paps…” He finally gets out. Papyrus grins before nearly skipping off to his room to finish getting ready.

As soon as he’s out of sight, you tugg Sans around to look at you.

***Maybe it won’t be so bad, Mettaton seemed to really care about your brother at the party. Even if he was a little… physical,*** you offer with a reassuring smile.

“that’s not… hell, i can see that Metta likes my brother almost as much as he likes himself. he just… if he hurts Paps…” You pull him into a hug and give him a squeeze, before leaning back to sign.

***Paps is strong. Inside and out. I’m sure he will be alright.*** Sans snorts but gives a short nod of agreement.

“uhuh. i suppose if it was Trent or Ash with a big movie star date you would say the same thing.” He gives you a knowing grin, to which you give him a very unamused stare.

***They are, like, ten- no. Fifteen, twenty years away from being allowed to date. I’m pretty sure Paps isn’t five to seven.*** This gets a snort out of Sans.

“nah kid, he’s an adult. believe me, it's the only thing stopping me from turning that bot into a pile of pink goo and glittery scrap metal.” Sans chuckles, taking a breath. 

Papyrus returns looking very dapper and ready to go to a high class restaurant and… whatever else Mettaton has planned for their evening. He gives you two a spin before striking several poses. It’s classy, but still comfortable and casual enough not to look out of place out in public. 

Papyrus certainly cuts an impressive figure when he’s dressed up. Papyrus’ regular clothes of his battle body, crop tops and booty shorts are… a different kind of impressive.

Now that Papyrus seems finished dressing up, you take the time to change out of your work clothes and into one of your long sleeve shirts and a pair of sweats.

By the time you return, Sans looks very flustered and Papyrus has a sly glint in his eye. When you enter the living room, his eyes turn to you and Sans pointedly looks away.

“HUMAN!” You freeze, looking to either side of you on the off chance that he is talking to someone else. 

Nope, he comes over and slings an arm over your shoulder, posing dramatically with his other arm. “It has come to my attention that my dear brother is jealous that I have a hot date for New Year's Eve and he does not.”

“Paps… that's not.” Sans is practically covering his face now. 

“BUT WHAT MY BROTHER SEEMS TO HAVE OVERLOOKED IS THAT HE WILL BE HOME WITH YOU, AND YOU ARE VERY QUALIFIED TO BE A HOT DATE!” Papyrus declares. 

What.

“what?” Sans echoed your thoughts.

“If you have no plans tonight, would you engage my brother in a friendship date?” Papyrus grins down at you and you’re pretty sure you are the reddest you have ever been.

What?

“Paps, its fine… kid, you don’t have to…” Sans mutters, his face a dark blue. He is probably the most flustered you’ve ever seen him.

Your hands start moving, pretty much signing your train of thought.

***I’ve never really dated. I wouldn’t know what to do. Not that I don’t want to. I’d like to. I’d mess it up. I don’t want to mess it up-*** You’re startled mid-sign by Papyrus’ laughter.

“NYEH HEH HEH HEH! Worry not, friend! I will get you my manual! YOU HAVE PLENTY OF TIME TO READ UP!” Then he practically picks you up and tosses you into your regular spot next to Sans before running off to his room.

“ya ok, kid?” Sans is still pretty blue and you don’t even want to guess how red you must be, let alone the face you must be making. You blink a few times and rub your face, you can FEEL how red you are, before giving him a thumbs up.

“look, i’m not really sure what's gotten into Papyrus, we don’t have… you probably don’t want to…” Your hands move to touch his arm and you shake your head.

***I don’t mind, Do you not want to?*** you question. Sans flushes darkly at this and looks away. You try tugging on his shirt but he won't look back at you as he talks.

“you’re great kid, heh, definitely the coolest adult human i know… but uh… tibia honest, you deserve better than a crummy friend date with me.” You blink a few times and then it dawns on you.

Papyrus, you sly goober.

You’ve known he’s smarter than he looks, older than he acts. But you did not expect him to be this crafty. You’re a little impressed that he thought far enough ahead to know he would need to occupy Sans if he wanted a little privacy with Mettaton.

Why he decided to use you for that roll you’re not quite sure. Yeah, you have a little crush. Really - you can’t look at him too long without blushing, even the little touches lingering, and you feel so much better, more whole, more yourself, just being in the same room as him.

Ok, maybe it’s a big crush.

But you won’t let that get in the way of your friendship, and right now as a friend, you have an idea. You tug his coat sleeve twice more; Sans is still trying to calm his blush and is refusing to look.

Pouting, you hook a thumb under his jaw and turn his head to face you. That must have caused what little control he had over his flush to snap, because he’s nearly solid blue. Once his attention is focused, you start to sign.

***Paps is smart, of course he sees that you don’t like Mettaton so he has to distract you if he wants a nice date.*** Sans grumbles something and rolls his eyes. You poke him in the shoulder until he looks back at you.

***But that doesn't mean we can’t play along. Who says our friend date can’t be following them around making sure Paps is safe,*** you offer with a grin and a wink.

Sans is practically cackling as he reads your hands, and you can’t help but laugh silently with him. Though your laughter is a bit more nervous.

“oh my god, kid. a night with me, stalking my brother and the metal molester, we really need to work on your idea of fun.” He wipes his eyes, having laughed so hard he started to tear up.

***You guys are best friends, of course it's fun. Kinda creepy, probably illegal fun.*** You frown and shoot a pointed look up at the ceiling before continuing.  ***I’d… rather stay with you if that's ok. I know you’re going to want to follow Paps.*** Sans glares upstairs after you sign before leaning forward to pat your shoulder.

You’ve not seen Jerry… Or Deb, for that matter, since the kids were taken. You’ve heard them, yelling and stomping and arguing. You’ve heard your name a few times, as well as several derogatory terms towards monsters. But they have yet to do anything, or say anything, and that scares you.

“don’t sweat it, kid, i wouldn’t leave you alone.” He offers you a grin and you smile in return.

“OH GOOD! I TAKE IT YOU TWO DECIDED TO GO ON THE FRIEND DATE.” Papyrus grins, nearly skipping into the room and holding out a book to you.

You take it and look at the well loved cover. It was some kind of dating handbook. Opening it, you skim through the chapters, trying to hold back a giggle at how silly it all is.

***Is this what dating is really like?*** You sign without looking up from the book. 

“YES.”

You glance at Sans and his eyes clearly say go along with it.

There is chapter seventeen that talks about cuddling, chapter eighteen talks about kissing and has several embarrassing images. Turning the page, you wonder how in depth the book actually goes.

Chapter nineteen.

Is very methodically blacked out. Clean lines of black marker fill in every line, block out every diagram. All the following chapters are the same. It’s getting very hard not to giggle at this.

Looking over your shoulder, Papyrus lets out a sigh. “Unfortunately the Library did not have another copy, and were unsure as to who vandalized the book.” 

Your money is on the suspiciously snickering bag of bones beside you.

“don’t worry about it Paps, i doubt me and the kid are going to get that far on our date.” You flush darkly but nod reassuringly.

Papyrus squeals and jumps up. You’re pretty sure he is sparkling as he pulls you up from the couch. “THIS IS GREAT, FRIEND! I ONLY HAVE AN HOUR BEFORE METTATON ARRIVES TO PICK ME UP. SO ALLOW ME, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, TO ASSIST YOU IN PICKING OUT YOUR SPECIAL DATE CLOTHS.”

He drags you over to your boxes of clothing while he starts to leaf through your various sweaters. You shoot a look at Sans, who has a fist pressed against his teeth trying to stifle his laughter.

“BROTHER! YOU MUST CHANGE AS WELL! YOU’VE WORN THAT SHIRT FOR THREE DAYS.”

“nuh uh. i just got a ton of shirts like this one.” He grins, and you can hear Papyrus grit his teeth.

“DON’T YOU-”

“you could even say... a skele-ton of them.” Sans laughs and you can’t hold back your giggle.

“SAAAAAANS!”

Chuckling, he finally heads down the hall to his room. Shaking your head, you turn back to Papyrus and your boxes.

Only to see him giving you the slyest look you have ever seen on the big goober and holding up the light blue sweater Sans got you for Christmas.

The fluffy one that was so soft and nice that you were afraid to wear it and ruin it. Though that didn’t stop you from petting it every chance you got.

“Friend, you may not think of me as a very intelligent person.” You quickly shake your head and start to sign. 

***You are SMART-*** He stops you but you can see that a grin is fighting its way through that odd sly look, a look that would have fit Undyne or Mettaton’s face better.

“I notice things, you have become very happy here with us. Sans has become… happier as well,” He pauses to look down the hall. 

You flush, taking the sweater from him and picking out a pair of black skinny jeans and leggings to go with it before signing. 

***I’m glad, you two have helped me so much. I’m very happy here.***

“I think you two would be very great together.” That sly look is back in full force as Papyrus grins, leaning down to wiggle his eyebrows at you.

Ok, it’s official, you are now a part of the “keep Papyrus away from Mettaton” club, or whoever taught him THAT. You shove his shoulder gently and try to laugh it off, taking a few steps towards the hall before signing.

***I’m way too broken for a relationship, Paps. I don’t even know if Sans likes me like that.*** You turn to head to the bathroom, intent on changing… and hiding until you regain control of your burning face.

“But do you like my brother like that?” You don’t answer, but apparently that’s enough for the pushy skeleton, because his giggles follow you into the bathroom.

Yes… yes, you do like Sans like that. You’re adult enough to admit it. But you have no idea what to do with these feelings. You think he might like you - he blushes almost as much as you do and you two are very good at flustering each other.

But you shouldn’t try to start anything. You’re barely pulling your life on track. You need to focus on the kids, and how you are going to support them. Not on the cute punny skeleton.

Pulling the ever so soft pale blue sweater on, you run your hands down the front, enjoying the soft texture and the way that it hugs you just right. Maybe you shouldn’t worry about your feelings for Sans right now… Or what his feelings for you might be... Maybe you should just enjoy your New Years.

 


	14. CHAPTER 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The amazing [Maybeapples](http://archiveofourown.org/users/maybeapples/pseuds/maybeapples) Edited this!
> 
> OMG, I HAVEN'T POSTED SINCE LAST YEAR!  
> (I'm sorry I'm a nerd.)
> 
> I have a tumblr now...  
> [Octogator was taken so It's Allipuss.](http://allipuss.tumblr.com/)  
> I drew shipper Pappy!  
> [Here~](http://allipuss.tumblr.com/post/136312721439/dapper-papyrus-shipping-sans-reader-with-puppets)

If someone asked you what you were going to do for New Years you would have have probably given them some variation of ‘watch tv with the bone boys.’ Or, if you were feeling daring, ‘go down to the waterfront to watch the fireworks… with the brothers.’

Nowhere on your fairly boring spectrum of acceptable New Years plans did you have ‘hiding behind a ficus, watching Papy and Metta make kissy eyes at each other over glittery MTT brand spaghetti while Sans grumbles what you’re pretty sure are robot-related death threats’. 

Mind you, you didn’t NEED to hide behind the ficus, the two of you had a table… it just happened to be on the other side of the restaurant and you couldn't really get a good view of the couple.

You’re practically leaning over Sans’ back to watch over his shoulder. It’s a big ficus, but your space is crowded for a big boned skeleton and an adult human. You try not to think about how you two are pressed together.

At least you aren't the only one flustered by this, judging from the hints of blue you catch on Sans’ cheek.

Mettaton’s laughter can be heard across the restaurant, and you turn your gaze back to them.

They were… surprisingly domestic. Beyond the little kiss the robot gave him on arrival and a few light brushes and hand holding, Mettaton respected Papyrus’ boundaries. Papyrus seemed comfortable, happy even. He softened his loud boisterous attitude and seemed to only have eyes for his metal friend. The light dusting of orange hasn’t left his cheeks the whole date. 

Papyrus leans across the table to delicately scoop up Mettaton’s hand, and  says something that has the robot blushing before he brings the hand to his teeth. You can’t hold back the soft giggle at Sans’ sigh. You give his shoulder a light pat, trying to comfort him.

“this would be a lot easier… if Mettaton was being bad, or Papy didn’t look so happy.” You give his shoulder a light squeeze before tilting your head back to your own table in a silent question. Sans hummed looking back at his brother. 

The two seem content to sit and talk, and you are surprised to see Mettaton like this. He is so very confident and out there. Watching him be shy and sweet with Papyrus is a side of him you didn’t expect.

You feel a little bad about spying on him with Sans.

You feel an arm snake around your waist and tug you away from the plant. As Sans leads you back to your table, he looks oddly defeated. He isn’t even trying to hide it. Or is it that you have just gotten that good at reading him in your short time together?

Instead of sitting down, you gather you coat and slip it on. Sans finally pulls out of his thoughts shoots you a questioning look.

“don’t want to sit down and order something? where’s the fire?” You grin, and he gives you a suspicious look before you start to sign. 

***Grillby’s***

“oh… my god.” He starts to laugh, to the point that the two of you get some dirty looks from the nearby tables. “i set you up.”

***You did. Figured we would both be more comfortable somewhere familiar… and not here.***

He grins and gives a nod before he holds his hand out for you to take. Flushing, you place your hand in his, and he pulls you against his chest, wrapping an arm around you. You brace your hands on his shoulders, knowing what’s coming before he speaks. 

“i know a shortcut.” 

Everything goes black and your stomach flips you try to convince yourself it’s because of the teleportation, not because Sans is holding onto you tightly. You blink and you are in front of Grillby’s.

Sans pulls away and you instantly miss him, wishing that he was still holding you.

“come on kid, i’ll treat you.” He grins, leading the way into the bar.

Grillby’s is as busy as ever, probably even more so. It’s still mostly monsters, but there are a few humans ringing in the new year with them. Sans leads you to his normal spot and you took the seat next to him. 

The two of you enjoy yourselves, sign with Grillby, chat with some of the monsters that are friends with Sans, eat your burgers and even have a drink. Well, a drink that isn’t katsup. 

Slowly, Sans starts to relax. You are careful not to mention Papyrus or Mettaton, and instead stick to swapping jokes. 

A little less than an hour until midnight, and Sans seems back to being himself. He puts the meal on his tab, does his round of goodbyes and you both head back into the cold. You can’t help but gravitate towards him, catching his hand in yours.

He pauses, looking down at your joined hands for a long moment. A dark flush dusts his cheeks as he gently rubs his thumb over your hand. 

“heh, guess we did kinda go on a date like Paps wanted huh?” He glances up at your face and you’re turning red from more than just the chill. You give him a nervous chuckle and a little nod, squeezing his hand lightly.

“hey… can I take you somewhere?” He asks quietly, spreading his other arm as an invitation to step closer. You take it, slipping your arms around his shoulders and waiting for him to grab hold of you.

“close your eyes, and… um… don't open them until i say so.”  He sounds so flustered you almost want to pull back and look at him. Instead, you let your eyes close and rest your face against the top of his head.

He makes a nervous little cough before holding you tightly around your waist and lower back.

You feel the pull of teleportation; by the time the vertigo clears, Sans is still holding you. His arms linger just a moment longer before he finally starts to pull away. 

“ok kid, keep hold of my hand, just a few steps forward.” He leads you forward, to the side, turns you to face a direction and then makes you sit.

You feel him shift to sit beside you, feel his hoodie brush against your coat, and you lean towards him slightly. He hasn’t given you the go-ahead yet, but you feel slightly cold bony fingers brush your chin and tilt your head slightly.

Still, you wait.

You feel his thumb brush over the bruise on your cheek, feather-light, tracing the edges of it. You catch his hand and hold it against your cheek more firmly, sure that he can feel the heat from your blush.

He chuckles, twisting his hand to catch your fingers and tangle them with his. “alright, you can open them now.”

You let your joined hands fall to the space between you as you open your eyes.

You are outside, but you know that already from the chill and the light breeze. A quick glance around tells you that you are on a roof, not the tallest building, but tall enough to get you above most of the light and noise.

Closer inspection tells you that this is the roof of your apartment building.

It is clear; you can see some of the brighter stars out and the moon is almost full. It’s beautiful up here.

“i come up here to watch the stars sometimes… figured it would be a good place to watch the fireworks…” He laughs nervously, and you give a small nod and a soft smile. 

Blushing, he turns away, looking up at the stars.

He is beautiful like this, the sparkle of wonder in his eyes as he focuses on those little bright dots of light. He may be watching the sky, but you find yourself stealing glances at him.

You shiver, it is cold out, after all, and it seems only natural that the two of you gravitate towards each other you rest your head on his shoulder and one of his arms finds its way around you. It’s nice. 

You don’t remember the last time you were simply held and enjoyed something quite like watching the stars. Probably when you were a kid? Maybe a teen? Then, it had been more platonic. This… 

This feels like it’s bordering on something different than friendship. 

You flush darkly and start to chew your lip. Now, you’re afraid to look at Sans, afraid he will see it on your face.

You never really had a relationship before… at least, not the kind you want to have with Sans. Sure, you dated before, but none of those really felt like they would be long term - you always went into a relationship knowing it would end. 

Prepared for it. You are used to people leaving you.

With Sans… He so quickly became your best friend. He is your rock, the unmovable force for you to hold onto while you fight through the mess that is your life. When you get too lost? He holds you, providing gentle encouragements but never pushing. 

You don’t think you can handle losing him as a friend.  

But the way you two touched, hugged, talked? You feel like you’ve stepped off the line from friend to something else a long time ago. Christmas, maybe? When you kissed him… No, it started earlier than that, but you can’t place it.

Are you so desperate for some solidity that you will fall for the first kind face? 

No… that isn’t it, either. He is not always kind, he has a darkness to him that frightenes you; in a way, he wears a mask like you do. His is just so much better than yours.

Worrying your lip, you snuggle a little closer, wondering if he will ever really let you under that mask.

You don’t notice he has untangled his hand from yours until you feel a thumb tugging your lip from your teeth.

You have to tilt your head up to see him properly, and he has the soft expression that you’ve caught only a handful of times. 

He breathes your name, so soft and quiet you barely catch it. He was probably about to scold you for chewing your lip, but you’ll never know.

Because in a fit of courage and perhaps a little foolishness, you lean forward and press your lips to his teeth. 

You feel him stiffen, his hand tightening around your waist. The one that had been touching your lip is now hovering by your cheek. 

A part of you panics slightly - you should have asked, you probably went too far. You're about to pull back when he cups your cheek and moves his teeth against your lips in a slight nuzzling motion. 

It doesn’t last terribly long, but when you pull back, you’re short of breath and your face is very red. You are so very flustered, and Sans is equally as blue.

He is sweating slightly and his grin is slowly widening. Still, your hands came up, apology already on your fingertips.

***Sorry, I should have asked first…***

He chuckles and leans forward, nuzzling his teeth against your forehead in what you decide is his version of a kiss. “apology not accepted. you never have to ask permission to kiss me.” His voice has a slight gravelly purr to it that you can feel all the way to your toes.

That has you flushing and flustered all over again. Still, you feel you have to clarify. You need to be on solid ground, you need to know what the two of you are.

You cup his cheeks, running your fingers along his cheekbones before pulling back to sign.

***That… wasn’t a friendship kiss...*** You don’t know why you're so worried, why you're afraid to look up at him, but when his chuckle turns into an outright laugh, you chance a glance towards him.

“good. because this isn’t a friendship kiss ether.” He almost growls, pulling you close and rubbing his teeth over your lips.

This one lasts longer, and you’re pretty sure you would melt if Sans wasn’t holding you against him. It’s soft and slow and you let your lips move over his teeth, sliding against the smooth surface. 

His hand finds your hair and your fingers play along the back of his neck, touching the little bumps and ridges of bone. His voice catches at that, and you smile against his teeth at the thought of finding a sensitive spot.

Eventually you separate, but only enough so you have room to sign, while he is content to wrap his arms around you.

***That was nice. I’d like to do more of that. Kissing I mean!*** You flush as you correct yourself, and he chuckles.

“Good… I’d like that,” He laughs softly. For all his bold words, you can clearly see that he is still flustered. You are glad you aren't the only nervous one. 

He catches your chin and leans in again, and you expect a kiss. 

You are fairly surprised when he brushes his teeth against your bruised cheekbone. If that doesn’t have you beet-red, when he tilts your head up and gives the fading handprint on your neck the same treatment, you have to bite back a whimper.

Your neck is sensitive and he makes sure to kiss every part of the bruise. 

Last, he takes your hand, pressing the bandage against his teeth and letting his eyes drift shut. He lets out a sigh and seems fairly content. 

“i don’t know if i can deal with seeing you hurt again, babe.” Babe? You were babe now? You have to fight a stupid grin, because his voice sounds so very serious. 

“if you hadn’t stopped me, well… Jerry and Deb would have been in for a bad time.” He sighs, cracking an eye to look at you.

You offer him a smile and lean forward to press a kiss to his nasal ridge. 

***I will try not to get hurt anymore.*** You hold out your pinky, waiting for him. He gives it a confused look before it dawns on him, and he is laughing as he hooks his pinky with yours.

“heh, pinky promise it is.” You hold your fingers like that for a few minutes, content just to be touching and being… well, whatever you are now.

There is a boom, followed by a sharp whistle and a crackle as the sky lights up.

You both startle and press closer to each other as you train your eyes on the sky, watching the fireworks rain down.

From up here, you are at the perfect angle to see them without having to brave the crowds. It doesn’t take long for the sky to be filled with light and fire. You take in the view before turning to the skeleton next to you. 

His eyes are already on you, the light from the fireworks lighting up one side of his face, and you can’t help but smile. That soft look in his eyes feels like it’s special, just for you.

You lean in and brush your lips over his teeth once more, letting the sound and light fade out as you focus on him. It doesn’t feel nearly long enough, but eventually, the two of you stop.

***Happy New Year, Sans.***  You sign, pressing a kiss to either cheekbone. 

He nuzzles your forehead and you feel his grin widen. 

“Happy New Year, babe.”

You have a feeling that this year is going to be pretty good. It’s already out to a great start.


	15. CHAPTER 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The amazing [Maybeapples](http://archiveofourown.org/users/maybeapples/pseuds/maybeapples) Edited this!  
> I have a tumblr... [Octogator was taken so It's Allipuss.](http://allipuss.tumblr.com/)  
>   
>  [Sockbootoo drew Reader~ I forgot to post it last chapter cause I'm bad...](http://sockbootoo.tumblr.com/post/136282856205/i-made-reader-from-the-story-im-fine-by-allipuss)  
> 
> 
>  
> 
> I'm so sorry its taken me this long to post. Long story short I was house sitting for a friend. A friend with 17 chickens 3 cats a dog and a rabbit. It was nice though, to get a chance to be out of the city and relax for a time. Before I started this chapter I sat down and fleshed out my outline for this fanfic so I have no excuse to leave you hanging again. : D I'm going to try and get at LEAST 2 chapters out a week for you. Maybe more~
> 
> That said Jesus Christ I have over 1000 kudo's now... who are you people?
> 
> Lots of love and apologies~  
> Octogator

A new year, a new day. A new… whatever you and Sans are. Currently, you’re cuddling on the couch.

Though you are in the process of trying to untangle yourself from the skeleton. As good as it felt to be held like this, to press kisses against his teeth and face, to feel him nuzzle you in return, you have to get up.

It’s morning, and breakfast has to be made. 

Not to mention the seven foot tall skeleton standing in the hallway, looking practically giddy at your predicament. 

The night before, not long after the fireworks, you and Sans went into the apartment to warm up; you cuddled and half-listened to some show or another on the television. It was nice, having your feelings for him exposed, and having them returned. It felt good even if you didn’t know what to call it.

Boyfriend doesn’t seem like strong enough of a word. Sans is your rock, the eye of your storm, the solid in the chaos of your life. Boyfriend sounds almost cheap compared to what this monster, this man means to you.

Then there’s the fact that you’ve only known him… not even a month. Yet he, his brother, and all of the monster friends you have made have taken up so much of your life, your friendship. From that point of view, boyfriend seems too strong of a word.

Besides… you guys just admitted to wanting to rub faces together… you don’t know if Sans wants to have an actual relationship. Too many variables, too many what ifs. Just relax, you told yourself, you need to stop thinking about them. Enjoy what he is willing to give you, give back what you can. Labels don’t matter.

When you woke up, pressed against a hard chest, his arms wrapped around you and his coat draped over you… well, you certainly enjoyed it. It was different than the first time - you didn’t feel guilty about this. Yeah, you were still flustered and nervous. But you knew this was ok.

It was ok to lean against him, it was ok to kiss him, it was ok to trace lazy patterns in the bare bones of his arms.

You’re not sure if it’s ok that Papyrus pauses mid-step in the hallway, having caught you in the act of cuddling with his sleeping brother.

When the tall, pajama-clad skeleton’s face splits into a wide grin, his eyebrows ridges shooting up in amusement, you decide that it is not ok.

However, when you try to get up, pulling away from Sans, the smaller skeleton’s arms tighten around you, holding you flush against his chest.

You hear muffled giggling.

And a click.

You turn just in time to be nearly blinded by another flash from Papyrus’ phone. You manage to wiggle your arms free, turning in Sans’ hold to sign.

***You did not.***

He wiggles his eyebrows at you before starting to tap furiously on his phone.

You snap your fingers and he glances up, giggling again. You would be impressed - this is the longest you’ve seen Papyrus be this quiet without being asleep. But you’re pretty sure that smug bastard just hit the send button.

***Papyrus no!***

***PAPYRUS YES!*** He signs like he talks, with bold movements that just look loud. 

***Who did you send that to?*** You look slightly panicked, trying to slip free of Sans’ hold once more.

***EVERYONE IN THE BETTING POOL!*** He grins before practically skipping to the kitchen.

***What? What! Betting pool?*** you sign, but he either doesn't see you or doesn't care to answer. Letting out a resigned sigh, you lean back against Sans.

He lets out a sleepy chuckle that you feel more than you hear, and you feel the cool press of teeth against your neck. It sends a shiver down your spine, and for a moment all you can think about is that small point of contact.

“what were you and Paps flapping about?” He hums, loosening his grip enough so that you can turn to face him.

***He took a picture of us and then sent it,*** you sign before hiding your blushing face against his chest. He laughs louder this time, letting his fingers play with your hair. 

“heh, you can probably blame Alphys and Undyne for teaching him what shipping is.”

You roll your eyes, even though he can’t see them, before sitting up. ***Apparently there was a betting pool.***

His eyes widen, and now it is your turn to giggle. He turns such a pretty shade of blue that you can’t help but lean in and press a kiss to his nasal ridge, making him turn an even darker shade.

***I’ll go help with breakfast, and tease him about Mettaton as revenge.*** You give him a wink before standing up. 

Sans simply sinks farther into the couch, letting out a content hum. 

You are on a mission. You stand proudly in the doorway, putting to use your best nosy sibling face, leveling an arched brow at the tall skeleton’s back.

Knock, knock. You rap your knuckles against the doorframe before making an attempt to look as imposing as you can in holiday-themed PJs. 

Papyrus turns, bowl in hand and mixing up… not spaghetti. Stay on track, you’re on a mission!

“HUMAN FRIEND! I AM SO GLAD YOUR DATE WENT WELL! I AM MAKING WAFFLES TO CELEBRATE SINCE WE BOTH HAD TRULY AMAZING NEW YEARS!” His grin is so wide as he gestures wildly with his whisk, splashing some batter around the kitchen.

***So your date with Metta went well then?***

“Oh of course! We had a lovely meal and then Mettaton took me on a helicopter ride! THEN when he took me home he gave me a kiss and asked me to be his BOYFRIEND!” You are pretty sure you just heard a dull thud from the living room that sounded a lot like someone rolling off the couch.

“I was SO excited, friend! But you two lazybones were already asleep on the couch and... “ This smile is anything but innocent as he leans forward and arches a brow. “Cuddling. So I decided it best to wait until morning!”

He turns to pour some of the batter into the waffle maker, but not before shooting you a slow and practiced eyebrow ridge waggle. You’re starting to realize that Sans has not protected his brother's innocence as well as he thinks he has.

You can’t bring yourself to reply; you’re so red in the face you have to cover your cheeks.

The deep chuckle and press of teeth to the back of your neck is not helping calm down your flustered self. 

“whats this about that bucket of-” you shift your elbow backwards, nudging Sans, and shoot him a look over your shoulder. “Mettaton… being your boyfriend Paps?” His voice doesn’t hold its normal venom when referring to the robot.

“Yes, well, as you know, I care a great deal about our friend Mettaton!” Papyrus is going into full story mode, and you see smoke rising from the waffle iron. You decide it’s in everyone's best interest if you take over breakfast.

He retells the story so dramatically and beautifully, starting from the limo ride to the dinner you and Sans spied on, and continuing to the helicopter ride and Mettaton’s surprisingly teary and honest confession. 

Apparently, behind that suave robot superstar is a nervous guy who’s head over heels for a skeleton. 

You wish the couple luck, and you pray Mettaton never does anything to hurt Papyrus, if the way Sans stabs at his waffles is anything to go by.

“NOW, BROTHER, IT’S YOUR TURN! I MUST KNOW, DID YOU BECOME A COUPLE BEFORE OR AFTER MIDNIGHT? THERE IS A DISPUTE THAT MUST BE SETTLED!”

“yeah, babe said you mentioned a betting pool. care to explain bro?” Sans arches a brow ridge at his brother and Papyrus suddenly looks very sheepish.

“YES… WELL… You see… I am acting as the book keeper since I know you far too well, and I am close to both of you so I would have an unfair advantage.”

“Paps…”

“Currently there is a debate between two betters as-”

You snap your fingers, giving Papyrus an apologetic look for interrupting.

***Betting on what? On Sans and me?***

“Yes! It started after the Christmas party. Though myself, Trent and Frisk suspected this would be the outcome long before that!” 

***Us being a couple?***

It is on your fingertips before you can help yourself. As soon as it is, you worry - is that to much to presume? You didn’t discuss exactly WHAT you were. You just simply were. Is the word couple right? Is he your boyfriend? Or are you now just friends that also happen to kiss and cuddle. 

A quick glance at the skeleton next to you, and you decide that maybe it is the right word after all. Sans is almost fully blue, staring at your hands with a soft, almost whimsical look on his face. It makes you realize that you aren't the only one who isn’t quite sure what you are now. 

You slide your hand over to him, letting it run over his wrist bones before linking into his fingers and giving his hand a squeeze.

He returns it, shooting you a soft look before leveling an unamused gaze at Papyrus.

“so who all is in this betting pool?”

“Oh, does it really matter, Sans! It’s ONLY just a few of our friends!” Papyrus does sound a bit nervous now.

“just want to know who i need to dunk on, don’t really like the idea of people betting on me and my babe’s love life.” His thumb bones rub against your hand, and you focus on your now slightly soggy waffles.

“SANS!”

“bro.”

Papyrus lets out an exasperated sigh and pulls out his phone. “I will tell you if you let me settle the dispute.”

Sans looks over at you and you give him a small nod. 

“before midnight,” He hums, lifting your hand to his teeth and pressing a ‘kiss’ to your fingertips. This moment would have been perfect if it wasn’t broken by the snap of a camera coming from one spaghetti-loving skeleton’s phone.

“Papyrus.”

***Papyrus!***

Papyrus simply lets out a giggled “Nyeh heh heh” before turning to his phone and starting to text.

All things considered, the new year is looking good.

The rest of the day is really nice. Most of it is spent cuddling with Sans on the couch, one of his books in your lap. Apparently, it’s a fairly basic physics book written in wingdings. 

He did promise to teach you how to understand the language. Besides. You are more than a little curious about the note he has given you at Christmas. Whenever you touch it or the book it lives in, he watches you, a hint of anxiety on his face.

But also something else, something you can’t name but like a lot. 

This, you can get used to this. As Sans lazily explains what a cross-like symbol means in relation to one that looks like a star, you can easily put away all your fear and anxiety. It’s so peaceful, domestic, you can’t remember a time where you felt this happy.

Safe, even. 

You feel safe with the skeleton lazily reading over your shoulder, and another one on the other side of the couch completely enthralled in the morning cartoons.

The only thing that would make this scene better would be if Trent and Ash were here, watching cartoons with Papyrus while you and Sans enjoy your nerd time. That would have made everything perfect.

You listen to Sans for a few more minutes, letting him finish his explanation and slowly read you another paragraph. Learning by submersion seems to be your only option for Wingdings. Translation books, grammar books simply do not exist, or aren’t easy to find.

Sans’ voice trails off and you feel him slip into a nap beside you. It brings a smile to your face as you mark your place in the book and set it aside. 

Pulling out your phone, you decide it’s time to have words with Trent. Your sibling has just won an unknown amount of money from their victory in the bet, after all.  

Well, they and Frisk won. Much to the displeasure of Undyne, who had after midnight, and Mettaton, who had Valentine's Day.

_ *Happy new year you two. _

It doesn’t take long for them to respond, and then it turns into a lazy back and forth as you sink against the skeleton beside you.

_ *Happy new year sib. _

_ *Paps told me you have some winnings to collect. I should have you grounded :P _

_ *He tattled? Man, no fare. Oh… Uh me and Ash are already grounded? _

_ *Why?!  _

_ *One of the new kids called Ash by the wrong name. Than refused to correct it so Ash punched them. Than I got in the middle of it. The new kid is grounded to. _

_ *How is Ash? _

_ *Alright, I explained that they may not like their full name but they can’t get mad and hit people who don’t know any better. I explained it to the other kid afterwards. _

_ *Trent. _

_ *I explained it to him nicely. He apologized but we are all still grounded. _

_ *Is everything alright there? _

_ *Yeah I guess. We miss you, and Frisk and Papyrus and everyone else. It's kinda crowded and some of the kids came from worse places than us. Ash tries to cheer them up but they can get pretty sad. _

_ *I’m so sorry. _

_ *Its nice getting to play with MK and Jonny so often though, and not all the kids here are bad, some are pretty cool. I just wish we could live with you. _

_ *I know Trent. I’m working on it, Lisa is helping too. I don’t know when but soon Trent. _

_ *I know you're trying. We love you a lot Sib! _

_ *I love you and Ash too! _

They are on their way to play with the other kids, getting as much fun as they can out of their last few days of vacation before school starts up again. The thought of school makes a part of you ache. You miss school, you miss learning.

You consider nudging Sans awake, getting him to help you with the next few paragraphs. But you can’t. He looks so peaceful, like he actually got decent sleep for once. The bags under his eyes aren't as bad and he has a soft smile on his face. One of his hands is loosely twisted in your sweater. 

It feels so nice. Is it to early to be cuddling like this? You decide no, it’s not, and you make a mental note to question Toriel or maybe Undyne and Alphys about how monster relationships work, about their culture. You want to be there for him the way he is there for you.

You're in a monster/human relationship afterall. It would be unfair to make him conform entirely to human relationship standards. But it isn’t like you have many relationship standards. Sans means so much to you, you don’t want to screw this up.

You don’t know if you could do this without his quiet and calm, providing the stability and support you need.

Holy shit… You are in a monster/human relationship. Has that… has that been done before? It’s calming down, but there are still hate groups, still racism. Will this be ok? Are you putting him in danger by being with him?

You don’t realize you’ve tensed until Sans’ arm tightens around you and he lets out a sleepy mumble. 

You take a few breaths and let your fingers slide over his arm bones to rest on his wrist and count his carpals. It gives you something to focus on, something to pull you back to the now and out of your mind.

It’s been more than a year; you're unlikely to be the first human and monster with romantic intentions. Sure, it's probably still rare, but it’s something that was bound to happen eventually.

Besides, it doesn’t matter to you. Sans isn’t a monster in your eyes, he is Sans. 

Funny, chill, and lazy on the outside, with a hidden darkness and crackling magic you had only caught a glimpse of. Sans wouldn’t be here if he didn’t want to be. He wouldn’t put the effort into a relationship unless he really wanted to, and you may not have seen much of his magic, but just the way he crackles and the pressure he gives off when he is upset is enough to tell he is strong. 

Your list goes on, and you snuggle into Sans once more, almost drifting off yourself as Papyrus wanders into the kitchen to go about settling lunch. 

Your phone buzzes, pulling you back into awareness.

Fumbling for it, you wonder if Trent and Ash are done playing already. Or if Undyne has decided to give you a telling to for not holding out a few more minutes.

It’s Lisa.

_ *Hey, quick update: I’ve finally gotten in touch with your mother. _

You don’t respond, you simply start to shake.

_ *I’d like to meet up with you to discuss a few things. I want to get your story now that I have hers and Jerry’s.  _

You feel your breath short and quick, and you barely register the arms tightening around you.

_ *Let’s just say I highly doubt I would ever consider placing the children with her, but if you could tell me about growing up with her, and how she and Jerry were around Ash and Trent it will really help my case. _

You let out a gasp as you're pulled into a boney lap, one hand moving to tangle in your hair as the other tugs your phone from your hands.

Sans is muttering little things to you, nothing that you can really pick out, but his voice helps. It warms you, it pulls you away from the thought of your mother. After a few more minutes, you turn your head to look at the phone. 

Sans gives you a questioning look, half-reaching for it, and you give him a nod. 

He reads Lisa’s texts, letting out an understanding hum and presses his teeth against your temple.

“want me to tell her you can’t kid?”

You think for a long moment before shaking your head and lifting your hands. They are still shaking.

***No. I need to do this. It… I should tell her about it for Trent and Ash’s sakes.***

He gives a nod and pulls you back against his chest. “i’ll be there if you want me kid, but if you don’t want to tell the story to me yet, I understand.

You grip him tighter and shake your head. No… You want him there, you NEED him there. Else you will likely break down part-way through.

You take your phone back, trying to ignore the fact that you are in Sans’ lap and pressed against his chest. ‘Ignore’ may be the wrong word. Focus on texting Lisa and not letting your face explode as the skeleton traces patterns against your upper back.

*Lisa, I can meet you this coming Wednesday. I’ll tell you my side of the story then.

 


	16. CHAPTER 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The amazing [Maybeapples](http://archiveofourown.org/users/maybeapples/pseuds/maybeapples) Edited this!  
> I have a tumblr... [Octogator was taken so It's Allipuss.](http://allipuss.tumblr.com/)  
>   
> Look look! This is part of a series now! I wrote a silly one shot about the betting pool and it didn't really fit in here so I made a thingy for one shots!
> 
> Happy junk done um... this chapter mentions some abuse and hints at some dark stuff so... sorry in advance.

You aren't ready. 

You don’t want to do this. But you have to do this. Part of you, a small logical part, thinks that maybe it will help. To let people know, tell the story, get it over with.

Part of you desperately wants to tell Sans, let him in, let him see just how broken you are. Give him a chance to back out of this relationship while you both still have a chance. You hate the part of you that thinks that. Sans has given you no reason to think it. 

Sans isn’t the kind of friend to run when he saw how damaged you are.

He’s held you, picked you up and comforted you while you pieced everything back together. Besides…

You can already tell he knows this isn’t going to be a pleasant story. 

You are pacing, having tidied and cleaned the boys’ living room as much as you could. Sans even picked up the sock that had lived in the corner with a pile of passive aggressive sticky notes. You turn and glance at the door as you start another circle. 

Maybe you should take up knitting, or something to do with your hands as an alternative. 

“babe…” 

Sans is standing beside you, not sitting on the couch where you left him when you felt the need to move. You shoot him an apologetic look, fidget with your hands and turn to start pacing again. He catches your elbow to stop you, turning your body to face him.

“if you don’t want to do this, you don’t have to.” Sans’ voice is soft and you let out a sigh, shaking your head. You sign slowly, trying to compensate for the slight shake in your hands. 

You barely notice that Sans is guiding you back to the couch to sit.

***I need to. It will help. Help Lisa’s case. Help the kids. Help me. It’s not good to keep it all inside… right?***

You glance up at him as you settle on the couch, and he offers you a shrug as he sits next to you. “no… i guess not, but that doesn't mean you should pull it all out if you're not ready, i understand if you don’t want me here, if you're not ready for me to-”

You stop him with a hand pressed against his teeth. He could still talk, he doesn't really need his mouth to move to form words, but he gets the message. You think about what you want to say as you let your fingers stroke his cheekbones and cup his face.

Your eyes drink in the dusting of blue across his cheekbones and the soft look in his eye and you open your mouth. You must look some kind of special, your mouth gaping open, does your voice even work? You havn’t used it since…

You haven’t used it for a very long time. 

You close your mouth and lean forward, brushing your lips against Sans’ teeth before pressing your forehead against his. You take a few breaths, drinking in the comfort that is Sans simply being beside you, and raise your hands.

***I want you here… You deserve to know. I don’t want to have to write it out. But I understand if you don’t want to be my voice.***

It’s his turn to stop you, lacing his fingers in yours and pressing his teeth against them. “i know i’m a lazybones, but i’m happy to be your voice as long as you need me to, sweetheart. you don’t have to explain anything to me if you don’t want to, and i’m happy with anything ulna want to share with me, that's no fibula.”

Your breath catches and you’re sure you have tears in the corners of your eyes, but you lean forward, tucking your face into the neck of his jacket. As tightly as you’re pressed against him, you’ll probably have little indents from his vertebrae on your forehead, but you don’t care.

You stay like that until there is a knock on the door.

You move to get it, but Sans is already up. Ever since Christmas Day, both brothers were fairly careful about the door, and neither wants to chance you opening it with Jerry on the other side. You don’t particularly want that to happen, either, but you hate how much paranoia you brought with you into their household.

You hear Lisa’s voice and you get up, giving her a small wave. She has a camcorder with her as well as a voice recorder. You make a quick sign for tea and raise a brow in question.

“you want some tea? or something to drink?” Sans offers.

“I suppose; tea would be lovely. I suspect this is going to be a long and difficult chat, so we all might be happy with a little comfort.” Lisa gives an apologetic smile as you head into the kitchen.

You hear Lisa and Sans talking, but not what is being said. Once you return with tea for yourself and Lisa, and a fresh bottle of ketchup for Sans, you have a bit of an idea.

Lisa is on the far end of the couch from Sans, and the pair of them are glaring daggers at each other. Lisa’s expression is slightly amused and Sans does his best to hide it as soon as he notices you.

You roll your eyes before settling next to Sans.

“Your boyfriend certainly is protective of you, and it’s nice to see he cares about Trent and Ash as well,” Lisa says with an arched eyebrow.

You nearly spit your tea and the woman laughs. Sans grumbles from behind you and fiddles with the lid to his ketchup. 

***How did you know?*** Sans translates and snakes an arm around your hip, tugging you just a bit closer to him.

“Oh, well, I simply assumed at first, since you were living together. And the way you both are always looking at the other from the few times I’ve seen you in person, it's pretty obvious.” Lisa grinned and arched a brow at you.

Before you can respond, Sans speaks.

“eer, we’ve only been together since New Year's, lady.” 

This earns another laugh and an eyeroll from Lisa. You chat for a few minutes. About idle things - your work, plans for when you’d start school. It’s obvious she is trying to make you more comfortable before the real conversation starts.

Lisa’s face turns serious as she sits down her tea.

“Your mother has been out of the country. From what I gathered from our very short conversation, she has a new boyfriend and they’ve been in Mexico for the last three months. She is unhappy that I seized the children and will likely try and fight for them.” 

Lisa lets out a sigh and a shrug. “So I know this may be hard, but any information you have on past neglect, anything, would be very useful. Tell me as much or as little as you are comfortable with, but I want to build a strong case against Jerry and your mother. I refuse to let Trent and Ash be placed with either of them.” There is a fire in her that is slightly intimidating, but you take comfort in knowing it’s not directed entirely at you.

Lisa wants to help the children, and for that, you think you can do this.

She sets up the recorder and the camera before sitting back across from you. “Start whenever you're ready.”

You raise your hands, take a few breaths, then slowly start to sign.

 

Your mother was a pretty woman.

She married your father when she was young, had you when she was just a year married. You were happy. Your mother adored you for a time, loved your father for a time. 

But she grew bored. 

You aren't sure when it started, but you really started to notice it when you were around ten. Your mother wasn’t home very often. When she was, well… She was drunk, hungover or some state in between.

You had your father, though, and he may have been a quiet and sad man, but he loved you and shielded you from her. You hated how much she hurt him by not being there. Sometimes she wouldn’t come home for weeks.

Rarely, you would catch them arguing. Divorce was brought up several times, but your mother didn’t want that, and your father didn’t want to leave you.

So that was life for you. You and dad. Learning to sign, learning about science and reading detective novels. Your mother was like a background character, showing up now in then, but never leaving much of a mark.

You didn’t mind, not really. You still loved her, just like you loved your dad.

You were fourteen. 

Fourteen when your dad… died. 

You had been quiet before, but after… that. You didn’t want to talk, you couldn’t talk. Your mom thought you were broken. Maybe you were. You went to therapists and ‘talked’ about it. You went to doctors who simply said it was trauma and it would get better in time as long as your mother was loving and patient with you.

Your mother was not a patient woman.

As soon as it became clear that you would not be fixed right away, she started ignoring you. Left you alone for the most part.

She sold the house and moved to the city, a little two bedroom, not much different than the brothers’ apartment. With your father's loss and your mother not interested, you buried yourself in studying. The things you had loved to learn about with your father you now taught yourself.

Science, math, history, anything you could get your hands on. Anything to get you to focus on something other than your situation. 

At the time, you didn’t think it was that bad. Not at first.

You had your way of coping and so did your mother. She may not have been around, but she had loved the man once and the loss of your father had hurt her, too.

She drank more - drank at the bar, drank at home, you were always worrying that she would get hurt or fired from her near-constant lack of sobriety. 

With your father out of the picture, she started to bring men home. One night stands, mostly.

They scared you.

Twice, you woke up to one in your room. You would scream until your mother came. She would get so angry. Throw the man out, often slamming the door in his face as he stuttered about going into the wrong room by accident.  

You didn’t know if they were an accidents or not, but it terrified you to wake up with a stranger standing in your doorway.

It wouldn’t have been so bad if your mom wasn’t convinced you were trying to steal her boyfriends. She would scream at you, ground you. Sometimes she would rip up your books or your homework, she would be so angry in her drunken rage.

Never did she comfort you, or check to make sure nothing happened to you. You don’t remember the last time you had heard a kind word from your mother.

She never hit you.

But she never really took care of you, either.

You got a paper route. Really, the only job a 14 year old could get. You didn’t make a lot, but you made enough to get by.

You bought a deadbolt for your bedroom door, your mom didn’t notice or she didn’t care. It made you feel safer.

She rarely bought food for the house. When you were lucky, she would remember to leave you money for food. But you never counted on it. You bought your own food, learned how to cook, how to be frugal with what little money you had from delivering papers.

Beyond that, you studied.

Read any book you could get your hands on. You were placed in several upper-level classes, had a near perfect GPA. You had to, you couldn’t afford not to. You didn’t have enough money to go to college, but scholarships were an option.

Your father had set aside a college fund for you. But with your mother the way she was… you doubted you would ever get access to it. 

During final year of highschool you were excited, nervous, and so many other emotions. Your teachers were positive you were going to get the scholarships you needed, but you worried. Your mother had taken to keeping a man around for longer than a few nights, and it was different, knowing that some guy lived with you now, and it scared you.

You don’t remember his name, it doesn't really matter.

You didn’t have any friends, well, at least, not any your own age. You considered a lot of the teachers your friends; your own peers were put off by the communication barrier, and you were happier sitting in a corner reading than trying to reach out to them.

If you weren’t at school, you were at the library. If you weren't at the library, you were on your paper route. If you weren't doing that, then you were at home. You tried to spend as little time as you had to at home. You didn’t like it there.

Ever since whatever his name was moved in it felt wrong, dirty. You didn’t like the way he looked at you. You didn’t like the way your mother would sneer at you whenever she felt you spent too long out of your room.

You didn’t like the snide comments about ‘why don’t you have a boyfriend or girlfriend? Or any friends?’ You didn’t like hearing your mother ask ‘don’t you have some friends’ house you can go stay at? you're always in the way here, just… lurking.’ You hated it when she would scoff down at your papers, often before crumpling up your homework or throwing one of your books.

‘You're worse than your father with all this nerd crap! Honestly, physics? Who needs it. Why are you even wasting your time with these dumb advanced math classes? You’ll never use it in the real world. You should go out and party and make friends!’

‘You had such a pretty voice, you’d have tons of friends if you’d just talk to people.’

‘When I was your age, I was out partying every week.’

‘Sometimes I can’t believe you're my kid. Maybe they mixed up the babies at the hospital.’

‘Aren't you dating anyone?’

‘Oh stop flapping your hands, I’m too drunk to read them and they make my head hurt. If you're not going to SPEAK I’m not going to listen to you.’

‘I’m bringing a new guy home, I want you out of the house or in your room. I swear if you try and steal this one from me I’ll put you out of the street!’

‘What do you mean college? You can’t LEAVE me! Don’t you love me?’

‘Who will take care of the house? Who will take care of ME? I can’t believe I raised you to be so selfish. You expect me to help with college? Hah, you think I have the kind of money to send you off to learn more nerd crap? Get some crap job like the rest of us.’

‘You think you're so much better than me, don’t you? You think you're too good to talk to your own mother!’

You… Really didn’t like being at home. 

Your mother would go on and on and on. Ranting and raving at you. You think it may have been more than the booze influencing her at this point. What's-his-name was almost constantly smoking something, and he seemed to get a kick out of your mother screaming at you.

You hated it. You hated… No… You still loved your mother. But you hated what she had become. Hated what she did to you. How she talked to you.

She never hit you. But you almost wish she had. A strike would have hurt so much less than those words.

Words lingered, stayed with you in the dark of the night, repeating themselves when you least expected it. Words haunted you for days, weeks, years.

Being hit was quick. A sharp sting that faded into heated skin and a tender spot. It hurt. But it did not carve into your soul the way that words did.

Your mother never hit you, but what's-his-name did.

A slap here, when he decided your hands were being ‘sassy’ as you signed something. A pinch or a sharp poke there, when he wanted your attention. He would pull your hair and smack your… when he wanted… a different kind of attention.

It never went farther than a few unwanted touches, you were… surprisingly good at getting out of his hold and he didn’t seem interested in forcing you.

You would tell your mother, every time he touched you, every time he hit you. She would get so angry. Not at him. At you.

How dare you flirt with her boyfriend. How dare you let him touch you in such a way. He was HERS. She would get so mad at you. So very mad, you wondered if she would actually hit you. 

But she never did, and you would lock yourself in your room where only her hurtful words would reach you.

You would turn on your music so you could barely hear them. Find a book and study.

You had to wait, be patient. Fill out the applications to colleges, fill out others for scholarships. You got a part time job and saved religiously, only spending what you had to on food. You kept your grades up, tried to keep your hopes up, and waited.

Then it happened, you graduated. Not long after you got a letter in the mail, you got accepted to the local university, and better yet, they were giving you a scholarship and providing on-campus housing.

You had waited, and finally it had happened. You could almost taste your freedom.

You hated that you couldn’t tell anyone. Your mother would have flipped. So as discreetly as you could, you prepared.

You weren't going to tell her, not until you were ready to go. You were lucky, most of your belongings, the ones you really cared about, could all be easily carried with you. 

It was a bit sad - everything you owned and cared about fit inside a duffle bag, a piece of rolling luggage, and a backpack. 

Finally, the day came. You could move into the dorm that day, and that's why you chose to tell her, that day. You had a place to run to.

She had taken it… about as well as you had expected. She screamed, she cried, threw things, and screamed some more. As you left, her final words to you were disowning you as her child and to never come back to her if you needed help.

You had no intention to. Part of you, a mean part, thought it was funny you knew better than to go to that woman for help.

College had been a dream. You had new classes, new things to learn. You had peers, friends even, that could talk with you and understand you. You had freedom.

You had been truly happy. 

You had made several efforts over your first year of college to contact your mother. You LOVED her. You wanted to know she was safe and well, but you didn’t dare go see her in person.

It scared you, the thought of returning to that apartment.

A full year and a declaration of your major later, and you finally heard from your mother once again.

She was married.

She hadn’t bothered inviting you to the wedding, but it had only been about a week ago.

Not to what's-his-name. What's-his-name left her shortly after you ran off to college.

She was married to Jerry.

And she was contacting you to tell you that you were going to be having a younger sibling. 


	17. CHAPTER 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The amazing [Maybeapples](http://archiveofourown.org/users/maybeapples/pseuds/maybeapples) Edited this!  
> I have a tumblr... [Octogator was taken so It's Allipuss.](http://allipuss.tumblr.com/)  
>   
> This was hard to write, Its a bit shorter then normal but If I didn't cut it off here the flow would have been weird. I post this at almost two in the morning... What is sleep?  
> [Someone asked me to draw Reader and Sans kissing and I animated it instead.](http://allipuss.tumblr.com/post/137535156209/can-you-draw-reader-and-sans-kissing)  
> [And someone else made me draw the Ficus from chapter 14.](http://allipuss.tumblr.com/post/137461735484/nowhere-on-your-fairly-boring-spectrum-of)

You had taken it pretty well.

Your mother was having a baby.

Oh god, was she still drinking? Doing god knows what other kind of drugs she had gotten into? Was she eating properly? Taking her vitamins? Going to the doctor checkups? How far along was she, even?

Your mother was married.

She was settling down? The longest relationship you can recall, besides your dad, lasted maybe a month. You’ve been gone a little over a year and she got married? Who was this Jerry? Was he nice? Did they just marry because of the baby?

You had not taken it well at all. 

You’d had your first panic attack. You didn’t know what was happening, too many unknowns, too many bad things you could see happening. Your chest had seized up and you couldn’t breathe. All the questions about your mother got pushed out of your mind because you were pretty sure you were dying.

Lucky for you, you decided to have a panic attack while you were in one of your classrooms, waiting for class to start. 

The professor found you, talked you through it. Made you breathe and calm down. Afterwards he explained what it was. 

You tried to grasp what it was that set you off; the professor didn’t push, but he urged you to talk to someone you trusted. 

Was it that your mother was replacing your father? No, she desperately needed some stability in her life. 

Were you afraid of being an older sibling? Yes, in a way, but not a bad way. You loved kids,and when you were little you dreamed of having siblings. Now you were scared, excited but scared, about having siblings. 

Scared… 

You were terrified.

No, you were sure you would do a good job, or at least an ok job. But the idea of your mother bringing up another child with her lifestyle... It terrified you. Your mother, who could barely take care of herself, was going to be raising a child.

You didn’t want anyone else to go through what you did.

You promised yourself, promised your unborn sibling that you would always be there for them, even if it meant returning to your mother.

The first visit was… strangely pleasant. Was this woman really your mother? She looked sober, she looked… well, not happy, but she wasn’t screaming or upset. She looked healthier than you’d ever seen her. She was so happy to see you.

To introduce you to your new father.

Jerry.

You didn’t like Jerry. He felt off, and you were an adult, you didn’t want or need another father. That was fine, because he seemed to have no interest in claiming you as his kid. 

He didn’t like how you would ask your mom if she was eating right, doing her exercises, taking vitamins.

He was close to yelling at you when you asked your mom if she stopped drinking. How dare you imply that he can not take care of his wife and child. How DARE you imply that he would allow her to drink or smoke or do anything of that sort while pregnant. 

At the time you didn’t notice the slight panicked look in your mother's eyes. You apologized, your mother apologized. 

Jerry didn’t like you.

A few months later, your mother produced a beautiful baby. Trent. You had a sibling. Born with a mess of dark hair and big green eyes. You loved them at first sight. Your mother teared up when she saw you holding them.

It was the first time you had seen your mother happy in a very long time.

You still had school, classes, papers to write.You dropped by every few days at first. Making sure that Trent was healthy, that your mom was being healthy, that Jerry was taking care of them. Nothing seemed wrong, or out of place.

But things didn’t feel right.

You couldn’t put your finger on it at the time. You hate that you didn’t notice sooner.

But you had so much going on, you had your future ahead of you and Trent seemed happy and healthy. 

Sure, they were quiet for a toddler, but they were always happy to see you. You taught them basic signs and they were quick to learn. They didn’t become vocal until after Ash was born.

Where Trent was the calm and quiet toddler that was more than happy to entertain themselves, Ash was a spitfire. 

They were loud and bright and they were born with a set of lungs that could rival an opera singer.

Your siblings were beautiful. You loved them at first sight.

Your mother seemed happy. From your weekend visits, it didn’t look like she was drinking like she used to. Trent and Ash were healthy. You hadn’t thought there was any reason to worry.

You were even starting to chalk up your dislike for Jerry to simply not liking him standing in the same place your father once stood. He provided for them, the kids were fed and healthy, your mother was… well, your mother.

She would complain to you about not being able to live like she once did. She never blamed it on Jerry, never spoke ill of Jerry, but some nights she would call and simply complain through the phone to you, beg you to move back in and help her take care of the kids.

What good was school doing you, anyway? You would have been so much more helpful helping her take care of your siblings. Didn’t you want to be a good sibling?

These games you were used to. But a hint of desperation was starting to grow in her voice.

You visited and watched your siblings grow. Jerry seemed to accept the fact he would have to put up with you visiting once or twice a week. You rarely saw him.

It didn’t matter, you were visiting to see your siblings, and to some extent, your mother. As soon as Ash stopped breast feeding, your mother took to drinking again, often dropping the kids off at your dorm, or making you come over. 

It worried you. You checked in more often. Didn’t want to bring it up to Jerry, worried he would take it as a personal offense. But your mom always left the kids with you or had you babysit whenever she took to the bottle.

You figured it was too good to be true to hope that she would give up the bottle for longer than she had to.

It was shortly after Ash turned three that you realized something else was very, very wrong.

Ash was always loud and spirited. They had a temper and they could be very opinionated for a three year old. So very different from Trent and yourself. Ash was so bright and loud compared to Trent’s calm and your quiet. 

Shortly after your finals, during the break between spring and summer classes, you came to visit your family.

You were greeted by your mother, who had a black eye and a split lip. She wouldn’t tell you how she got them, she wouldn’t tell you anything about the heavy atmosphere that had taken over the apartment.

Jerry was at work, the kids were in their room, and your mother was packed.

She told you that they were your problem now. She couldn’t take it anymore. She was never cut out to be a mother. Never wanted to be a mother.

The words cut you but you didn’t show it. Didn’t want her to know how they hurt. Didn’t want her to raise her voice. Trent and Ash didn’t need to hear this.

She took her bags, and left.

You cried, begged. You even called her name. She had paused briefly at your voice. But she still left.

You didn’t know what to do.

You returned to your mother's… Jerry’s apartment, to check on the kids. They were in their room. 

Ash had a bruise on their cheek and puffy red eyes from crying. Trent was holding them, a faraway look in their eyes. You asked what happened, and it took a very long time for them to calm down enough to speak.

Trent was the one to talk, Ash having fallen asleep against you. Jerry and your mother had gotten into a fight. Ash had been crying and screaming, not liking that their parents were fighting.

Your mother had gotten angry, slapped Ash and told the pair of them to go to their room. 

More yelling, and crying from your mother, before Jerry left for work. 

She hadn’t even spoken to Trent and Ash when she had tossed them two packages of pop tarts as ‘breakfast’ before you had arrived.

You didn’t know what to do.

You didn’t have a way to contact Jerry, you didn’t want to leave the kids alone, so you made dinner. As well as brownies, to try and cheer up Ash and Trent.

It wasn’t right for them to believe that your mother left because of them. A small part of you hated your mother for leaving them like this. Letting them think it was their fault. Leaving Trent with that void look in their eyes and Ash a whimpering mess.

How dare she strike her child. 

Jerry had yet to come home, you settled the kids watching a cartoon of some sort while you wrote out what had happened. Jerry knew like, three words in sign language so you were reduced to using up a few pages of your notebook to explain everything you knew.

You had thought about your mother's split lip and black eye and felt a little apprehension. You were smart enough to realize it was probably Jerry that had hit her.

But when he came in, he had claw marks from your mother's nails. Perhaps it had been in self defense. At the time, you had no reason to think otherwise.

You had been so stupid.

Jerry had been surprised to see you. Upset and wanting to know where your mother was. You gave him your pages and went about heating up dinner for him. You needed to do something, you didn’t want to sit and watch him read.

He had been appalled that she had up and left. Upset, but you were sure she would be back. Sure she just needed some time to cool down after their fight.

You offered to stay, watch the kids while Jerry was at work. You had your spring break after all. It wasn’t like you needed to tutor anyone during the break, and you didn’t really have any plans as far as the break was concerned, so you were happy to offer your help.

You wanted to be there for Trent and Ash. Protect them and make sure they were happy.

Begrudgingly, Jerry accepted. It wasn’t like he could leave a three and five year old at home alone.

It was only until your mother got back.

Spring break came and went. Your mom didn’t come back. 

You decided it wouldn’t kill you to take a term off of collage. At least then, you would be sure Trent and Ash were happy and safe. A lot of people took off the summer term, after all. You still worked as a tutor. You talked to professors, and took Trent and Ash along with you. They adored the university.

Your mom still didn’t come back. You called her daily, texted her even more frequently.

You were sure Jerry was doing the same.

He was getting more and more agitated. Eventually, he demanded you move in, watch the kids full time.

You were worried, he seemed more violent than you had ever seen him. He was verbally abusive to you; he would yell, scream and throw things. You figured he was upset about your mother. You didn’t blame him. You were upset about your mother, too.

But if he was like that, you did not want to leave the kids alone with him. 

You moved in. 

You dropped out of college. You would go back. Just as soon as your mom came home.

You were so used to the verbal abuse that it really wasn’t a surprise when he hit you. You had gotten mad about the yelling and he struck you. If you didn’t finish dinner before he got home, he would beat you.

Never in front of the kids.

A few times you had threatened to leave, take the kids with you. Well… you had scars from those times. Not many, he didn’t like leaving behind evidence, but by the time he had started hurting you… It wasn’t like you would tell anyone. 

He had already broken you.

Maybe you were broken from before. 

You had no place to go, so... you had fallen off the face of the earth. Who could you even contact for help? You were sure your friends and teachers had long forgotten about you.

He only hit you. Ignored the kids at the worst of times, and spoiled them at the best of times. Only you had to suffer.

It was fine. You just had to tough it out until your mom came back. Then the four of you could leave Jerry, take the kids with you and ditch this jerk.

You just had to wait, be patient. Your mom wouldn’t abandon Trent and Ash like this. As awful as she was, she had never abandoned you in this sense.

At least, that's what you thought at first. After the first year… 

Well. 

You didn’t know what to do.

You were stuck.

Same routine: do all these things perfectly and take care of the children, and Jerry would hit you less. You were stuck in the routine. Any deviation would hurt, would make Jerry angry. You had no idea how to escape, who to go to for help.

So you waited. As much as it killed you, hurt you, it was only you. You were fine as long as Jerry only hurt you. You could take it. 

Honestly, you didn’t remember a lot of the individual abuse from Jerry. You were missing chunks of those memories, or they had simply faded together. You had blocked out some things that would send you into panic if you thought about them.

No matter how good you were, how well you did all your tasks, he would still hurt you. Over and over again. Take out whatever little frustration he had on you. It was always the same.

You were stuck.

Then, things changed. 

Toriel came. Then the brothers.

You had friends, people who saw through your mask and saw that you were hurt. You couldn’t hide, you couldn’t wait any longer.

They knew you weren't fine.

It was time to do something.


	18. CHAPTER 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The amazing [Maybeapples](http://archiveofourown.org/users/maybeapples/pseuds/maybeapples) Edited this!  
> I have a tumblr... [Octogator was taken so It's Allipuss.](http://allipuss.tumblr.com/)  
>   
> I don't really have an excuse for why this is so late. I just kinda fell into an emotional funk but I think I'm climbing out of it? I have a good portion of the next chapter written and I know where we are going. I'm so sorry my darling readers.
> 
>  
> 
> [I did another cruddy animation of Reader and Sans](http://allipuss.tumblr.com/post/138006807734/can-you-draw-short-curvy-reader-signing-to-sans)

Your hands feel heavy and numb. It’s understandable - you can’t remember the last time you had signed that much. Sometime during the story you’ve stopped looking at them, focusing on your lap rather than Sans and Lisa’s faces.

The pain in their eyes makes you feel guilty, but you don’t want to stop. Can’t stop, once you start. It’s like a splinter. It hurts while it’s a part of you, and it hurts to pull out, but once it’s out, you can heal.

The hurt can fade.

You really hope the hurt will fade; telling the story takes so much out of you. It makes you feel exposed and raw inside, and you don’t want to look up to see the expressions on their face now that you’re finished.

Sans’ voice was strained and cracked as he translated your motions. You know he is upset, you didn’t have to look up to see it - you can feel it. The air feels heavy with the static of magic and the tension.

You jump when you hear Lisa turn off the recorders and the camera.

Finally, you take a deep breath, then another. It’s over, you are done. After your third breath, you look up. 

Lisa has tears in her eyes and has clearly made an effort to suppress them. She is pointedly wrapping and rewrapping the cord to the camcorder while she fiddles with putting them away. 

Biting your lip, you finally dare to look at Sans.

His eyes are an empty black void, and a few beads of sweat run down the side of his skull. He looks. Dangerous. His teeth look sharper, and you can tell by the strain on his face that he is grinding them together. He looks like a predator.

It should scare you, but you know it isn’t directed at you. You worry - maybe it’s too much too quickly for Sans. Hell, it’s a lot for you to retell. You can’t imagine what it's like to hear your story for the first time.

This is the first time you’ve told this story. Sure, you lived it, but to actually think about it, about how to form the signs and words to tell this story, your story... You’re exhausted.

You are shaking, and even the thought of twitching your hands to form a question sends a spike of discomfort up your arm.

There is a slow, measured intake of breath, and your eyes fall back on Sans. His eyes are closed now, and it looks like he’s making an effort to push down his anger. You shift, unsure if going to him is the right thing or not.

It… doesn’t hurt as much as you thought it would. No… that’s a lie. You take another breath and look down at your hands. They twitch when a tear drips from your face down to them. This is… a form of shock. You’re numb right now, you aren't fully here right now, still trapped halfway between the memories and pretending that they happened to some other unfortunate little kid. 

You close your eyes and grit your teeth. This happened to you. You press the heels of your palms against your stupid crying eyes. Stupid. You’re broken, messed up, shattered into countless pieces and desperately trying to pick yourself up.

You flinch as the memories replay. A few choice phrases in your mother’s and Jerry’s voices are playing through your mind. You try to push them back, like you always do. Block them out enough so you can function.

But it isn’t working this time.

Your next intake of breath is shaky and your hands fist in your sweater. 

Lisa says your name, and only half a beat later, Sans echoes it. They sound worried, but far away. You’re still stuck in your memories. 

A particularly vocal drunken episode from your mother. The time Jerry sprained both your wrists and left you mute. The time, so long ago, when you came home from school to a house that was far too quiet…

No.

Not that one. 

You would happily relive any memory besides that one.

You feel arms around you. Two sets - one boney and familiar and one fleshy and human. You take a breath, and then another, before you feel confident enough to let go of your sweater and hug them back.

This… may be a slight mistake, because Lisa takes this as a sign to tighten her hug, and you become very aware of just how shapely the woman is under her posh business suit. It lasts just long enough for you to start to feel awkward before she holds you out at arm's length, looking you up and down.

As soon as you’re free, Sans pulls you against him almost protectively. “Come on Lisa, no need to smother them,” he chuckles. He presses a toothy kiss to your cheek as the pair of you blush.

You’re a little surprised - Lisa doesn’t seem the type to be easily embarrassed.  After a moment, however, you realize she isn’t embarrassed - she is glancing to Sans’ arm on your hip and where his chin rests on your shoulder. You almost wonder if Lisa is a member of the betting pool, but you’re pretty sure you're the only one with her number and on a friendly texting basis. 

“Sorry, it was just… you looked like you needed a hug… and, well… after that story, I kind of needed a hug, too,” she offers, and you wave it off before gritting your teeth and slowly signing.

***Its ok. It was the breast time for a hug, pulled me out of my thoughts.***

Sans is all but giggling against your shoulder as you let your hands fall, and Lisa gives him a quizzical look before he finally calms down enough to translate.

Then she rolls her eyes and lets out a heavy sigh. 

“Yes, well. With this and the rest of the evidence I’ve been gathering, I feel like we have a really solid case. I don’t want you or the children to ever have to be around Jerry or your mother again. I’ll be damned if I lose this case and they get sent back to either of those…”

“you're pretty confident that you can keep Trent and Ash away from that… man,” Sans shoots Lisa an evaluating look, and you feel his hands snake around your midriff. 

“Yes, well… that man has a record. Nothing major and no jail time, but enough to raise eyebrows. The real threat, I am sad to say, is your mother. She has a fairly clean record, and our state does favor placing the children with the mother over anyone else, so if she decides to claim custody…” Lisa grinds her teeth and looks away. 

You can’t repress a shiver, and you turn to press your face into Sans’ jacket. Would she do something like that? She’d told you to take care of them, said she never wanted you, never wanted them. What if she changes her mind? Decides she does want them after all…

“babe…” You feel firm bone fingers rub from your shoulders to the small of your back before moving up again. They repeat the motion a few times until you calm down. “we won’t let your mom take them. we’ll figure it out.”

“Your boyfriend is right! She can try, but like I said, I’m going to fight tooth and nail to make sure that never happens,” Lisa speaks up. You can practically feel the determination dripping from her voice as you turn enough to see her and give her a nod.

You don’t want to sign; your hands hurt and you feel too emotionally drained to form words.

Lisa packs up and takes her leave, promising to keep in contact and dropping a few not-so-subtle hints that she thinks you should move farther away from Jerry. She lets her eyes linger on your still-fading bruises before waving her goodbye.

Sans lets out a sigh, and you both sink into the couch and against each other. Glancing to the side, you catch Sans looking at you. He tries to hide the sadness in his eyes, but after a moment of pointed staring and a tilt of your head, he realizes he’s been caught. 

“i had no idea, pal. i mean, i knew it wasn’t going to be a happy story but i just… i don’t know if i will ever understand humans like your mother or… him,” Sans practically hisses the word and glares at the ceiling. 

You shift to face him, motioning with your hands for him to continue. He takes his time, but that’s normal for Sans. He always goes at his own pace, choosing his words carefully and sometimes dropping conversations he isn’t willing to have.

Amazing what you can learn about a person in a month. 

But you are patient, you can wait. 

Finally, Sans rubs his face, trying to hide the tint of blue that dusts his cheeks. “it’s just… when a monster decides to have kids, they have to actively want to. i mean, really want to have kids. some monsters can have a kid alone, but most monsters have a partner and both partners have to really really want a kid. so to monsters, kids are precious…”

He sighs, taking your hands in his and pressing his face against your palms. “but humans… humans can just pop ‘em out and discard them. perfectly good kids with bright futures and good souls. i’ll never understand how a parent could neglect kids like you, Trent, Ash… and Frisk.”

He lets his eyes drift shut, and you can tell he is fighting with more emotions than he’s just let out. You wonder what his parents were like. He and Paps never speak of them, really. Toriel and all your monster friends practically spoil Frisk and your pair of siblings. 

You lean forward, pressing a kiss to his nasal ridge before letting your forehead rest against his. Slowly, he comes back to you, lifting a hand up to run through your hair. Your eyes drift shut, enjoying the touch. 

You feel his head shift and brush his teeth across your lips, then over the mostly faded bruise on your cheek, before he pulls back. 

You lean back and flex your hands… you should probably ice them, or put heat on them - you aren't sure… you should probably take a break from signing, but you have things to say.

***I can’t understand how some humans hate monsters. You are all so full of compassion and caring and love for all those close to you. Even those you just met.***

Sans hums and takes one of your hands, slowly rubbing your tender wrists and palms. “monsters are made out of love and compassion. well… and magic. we can tell when someone has a good soul, even sometimes tell when we meet someone we could be… friends with.” He pauses, picking up your other hand.

“you talked a lot today babe, worked your hands down to the bone,” he teases, shooting you a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “we’re both a little high strung. want to read a few chapters to calm down and then maybe hit up Grillby’s?”

You look at him a few more moments before giving a short nod. You know he’s avoiding something, dancing around a topic. There’s no point in calling him on it, because Sans is stubborn and won’t talk about it until he is ready. Besides, he hasn’t let go of your hands.

He lets out a sigh, and the tension around his eye sockets fades. Focusing on learning a language, on Sans’ soothing deep voice... It’ll help ground you. You’ll need that, especially if you go to Grillby’s, and, well… anywhere public, really.

You need to gather yourself first.

You tug your hand from his to tap your throat and then shoot him a worried look. He looks confused before you point at him and repeat the motion.

“nah babe, my voice isn’t tired. i vocalize with magic, lot of monsters do. Alphys might have a book about it, most of mine are physics and technical stuff. never had the guts for biology.” This gets a smile out of you, and you’re pretty sure Sans’ eyes sparkle before you turn to lean your back against his chest. 

He produces the book seemingly out of thin air. You have yet to sit him down and have him really explain how teleportation magic works, but from what you have gathered, it's pretty rare and complicated.

Cracking open the book, you find the page you had left off on, trace a finger over a line of text, and glance back at Sans. 

With a smile, he presses his teeth to your cheek before he starts to read. It’s a slow process, and perhaps not the quickest way to learn a language, but it’s certainly enjoyable. Sans’ calm, deep voice is rumbling in your ear, repeating words and phrases in English, explaining certain symbols and configurations as you come to them. 

Sometimes, you’ll catch Sans’ hand twitch while he speaks, almost like he’s resisting the urge to sign along as well. You make a note to ask him about that. Not now, though. Now, you are still on shaky ground, collecting yourself. Grounding yourself with the press of bones against your back and Sans’ voice wrapping around you.

This is nice. 

Growing up, trying to survive, you would have never thought you would find yourself where you are now. A few months ago, you thought you would never be free. But now? Now, you are breaking free. And you are bring Trent and Ash with you.

You aren't alone.

You have friends, you have family. It leaves your heart… or maybe your soul? It leaves it feeling full and heavy with emotions. It’s so different, not being scared and panicked every day.

It’s liberating having something to do and knowing you are doing everything you can to save Trent and Ash from a world like the one you grew up in. You don’t want them to know what it means to be hurt or to loose someone. You want them to be bright and happy and free.

You never want them to be broken.

Not like you are.

Sans has stopped reading when your fingers stopped moving. His breathing is slow and his face is buried in your hair. If it wasn’t for his fingers lazily tracing designs on your abdomen, you would think he’s asleep. 

You have a boyfriend.

When was the last time you had a boyfriend? Did your lab partner in college count? No… well, maybe… but you were more than likely just close friends who happened to get closer a few times. Growing up, you have always been so focused on school, on getting away from your mother. You never really stopped to hang out with people, let alone pursue romance. 

There were a few - shut-in nerdy types like yourself - but nothing serious. Nothing like Sans.

This with Sans… this feels serious. You don’t want to mess this up and loose this. Sans feels right, like none of your other relationships have felt before. You don’t understand it. You’ve known him a month, been dating a few days.

Is it wrong to feel this way so quickly?

You shift in his arms, earning a slightly annoyed grumble. Closing the book, you set it on the floor before tucking your face into the crook of his neck. 

“you hungry? or do you just want to hang out on the couch necking?” His fingers have moved to dance over your shoulder blades and slide down your spine, pressing in a way that makes you think he might be counting your vertebra. It actually feels really good.

Almost good enough to make you want to lay here forever and let this stocky skeleton rub your back. You let out a breath, squeezing him tightly and pressing a kiss to his jaw.

This is nice.

He returns your tight hold and you feel fingers tangle in your hair; you tilt your head until teeth press against your lips.

Kissing him is always so different - no warm flesh to meet you, instead just the occasional shift of teeth as you move your lips against him. It’s different, but you love it. You can feel the hum of his magic, and it often leaves you breathless. 

You feel his teeth move, open, and suddenly he is nibbling on your lip. That is new… that is good. You were beginning to think his mouth doesn't open. But the slight pressure on your lip, followed by the gentle scrape along your jaw, proves you very wrong as a shiver runs through your body.

By the time you pull away, his mouth is closed again, and he shoots you a wink. You pout and start to lean in for another kiss. You’re interrupted by a growl from your stomach that sets both you and Sans into a fit of giggles.

“heh, come on babe, let's get some grub.” You nod, leaning back and letting him sit up.

You just look at him for a moment, not making a move to get up and letting your eyes take him in. When your eyes meet his again, Sans is blushing slightly, and there is a look you can’t place in his eyes. 

You decide you like it.  

You wonder how you must look to him, flushed with your hair all messy and a silly grin splitting your face. 

Your past is behind you, Lisa will help you get the kids, you’ll go back to school, you have friends, you have a…

Your eyes widen and your grin turns slightly into a smirk. You can’t believe you missed this, it's so utterly perfect. You can’t hide it; you raise your sore hands and Sans’ eyes are already trained on them, a look of excitement in his eyes. 

***Sans… You’re my BONE-Friend.***

You wait, shaking with the effort to hold back your quiet giggles. Sans is stunned, you're pretty sure his eyes are sparkling, and slowly, his soft smile widens into a grin.

He sandwiches your hands between his and slowly looks at you, fondness, wonder and caring clear in his eyes.

“that was amazing. you’re amazing. i can’t believe i missed that one.” He starts to laugh, pulling you into a hug and peppering your face with toothy kisses.

It takes another fifteen minutes before either of you are ready to head out to Grillby’s. 

Walking there, the cold crisp January air feels good. You feel good, warm and fuzzy, and cared for. You still don’t feel quite whole, still a little on edge after telling your story and putting, well… most of it out there.

Your fingers laced with Sans’, you simply enjoy the day. You feel like you are moving forward.

You don’t notice the eyes on your back or the feeling of being watched. 

Sans does.

Casually, not bothering to look back to try and find whoever it is that’s watching you, Sans steers you into the next alley. He presses a kiss to your cheek as an excuse and pulls you through a shortcut, leaving the alley empty. 

Not even a full minute pass until a pair of men stands in the opening of the empty alley way, the taller of the pair smoking. It’s a dead end, and your footprints stop just a few feet in.

The shorter of the two shares an annoyed glare with his partner before they head back down the sidewalk. 


	19. CHAPTER 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The amazing [Maybeapples](http://archiveofourown.org/users/maybeapples/pseuds/maybeapples) Edited this!  
> Come yap with me on tumblr~ [Octogator was taken so It's Allipuss.](http://allipuss.tumblr.com/)  
>   
> [I drew the pic Paps sent to the betting pool~](http://allipuss.tumblr.com/post/138464978629/you-should-draw-the-pictures-taken-of-reader-and)  
>  [And snuggles from Chap 12](http://allipuss.tumblr.com/post/138464730079/please-can-you-draw-sans-and-the-reader)  
> This Chapter is brought to you by snuggle pictures.

The court date is set for early February. Lisa tried to push it for sooner, but the judge it was assigned to felt it was unfair to do it before your mother had a chance to fly back into the country. The more you got to know the woman, the more you realized that the prim and proper Lisa was simply her work mask.

To help distance herself from the cases.

You aren't sure if she’s really bad at distancing herself from the cases, or if your group of monster friends pulled her in like they pulled you in.

Maybe a bit of both.

You end up spending a lot of time with Lisa. So do Sans and Papyrus, and sometimes even Mettaton, Toriel and Frisk. When it becomes clear that a month will go by before the case even gets looked at, Lisa had approaches you with an idea.

As Trent and Ash’s caseworker, Lisa has power. She can ‘supervise’ your visits with the kids, and as long as she tags along, you don’t have to stick around the foster house or the nearby park. This leads to a world of possibilities. 

Like today.

Today Trent, Ash, Frisk, Toriel, Sans, Lisa and yourself go down to the waterfront. It’s Saturday. Even in winter, your city has a little market pop up down by the waterfront every weekend. 

The stalls sell food, crafts, art, flowers, all sorts of things. There are a few street musicians. It’s was a fun, exciting environment.

You haven't come here since you were in college. 

It is almost exactly the way you remember it. But so very different.

Now, there are monsters.

You’ve counted three monster-run stalls so far. You’re happy to see that only a few humans are going out of their way to glare at the shopkeepers - most people check the wares or ignore them. You suppose it's progress.

Apparently, little Frisk knows pretty much every monster they meet, and has taken it upon themself to introduce Trent and Ash to them. You pick up MK and his family from somewhere - he’s a little yellow armless monster who seems super excited about everything.

You flinch every time the poor kid face plants. 

Trent helps them up and Ash locks sight on you before practically charging. They hit you full force and wrap their arms around your legs, offering you a big, pleading grin. “Can we get Nicecream? Frisk says it’s really good! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!” They whine, swinging from your leg and looking up at you.

You put on a thoughtful look and free your hand from Sans. It seems that whenever you aren't signing, one of you will seek out the simple contact from the other.

***Have you and Trent been doing your homework?***

Ash nods then gives you a sheepish look. “Most of the time.” 

You cross your arms and arch a brow at Ash. They match your stinkeye with a pout of their own. “It not as fun without you there to help.” They hide their face against your knee and you practically melt. 

It’s so much harder being stern with them when you can’t be there for them all the time. You scoop them up and hug them tightly; you press your face into their messy mop of hair and will yourself not to cry.

You miss them so much.

You’ll have to take them back to the foster home… no matter how much you don’t want to.

Composing yourself, you lean back and shift Ash to your hip. You’re lucky they are a squirt, you couldn’t manhandle Trent like this when they were this age. You shoot Ash a look of utter defeat and bring up your free hand.

***Ok, we can have Ice cream.***

Ash lets out a happy squeal and hugs you before they squirm out of your arms. “ITS NICE CREAM!” They correct as they practically barge their way back to Trent, Frisk and MK to share the news.

You like this. This is new - you couldn’t take them out like this when you lived with Jerry. You could never afford to do treats like this before. If you aren't careful, you’re going to spoil them rotten.

An arm wraps around your waist, and you feel a familiar press against your side. Turning, you catch a soft look from Sans as his arm tightens around you in a brief hug. The lights that serve as his eyes are soft, and there is a warm smile on his face. 

You loop an arm over his shoulder and lift a brow in a slightly questioning look. Sans just chuckles and shakes his head before tugging you down enough to brush his teeth against your cheek. 

As much as you would like to stand here in the middle of the walkway kissing your boyfriend, you're pretty sure the children have raced off to the Nice Cream Stand. As you separate, you hear a scoff and look up in time to see a passing couple shoot you a dirty look.

You are confused for a moment before it hits you. 

Your boyfriend is a monster. In a world that is still undecided on the idea of treating monsters like people. You start to notice the looks now. It makes you shiver. An old man shoots you a look of disgust, a lady with a pair of screaming toddlers was shooting you a glare and leading her kids away.

An annoyed eye roll from a vender, a look of outright hate from a group of boys that look like they are still in highschool.

You haven’t really thought about this. You’re so used to your little circle, your friends who are mostly monsters, your neighborhood that has several monster-owned shops and is fairly open minded. 

This is public. 

People are looking at you.

You feel a squeeze to your side and a hand on your shoulder.

“Don’t think about them. They’re backwards jerks.” Lisa speaks first; you glance at her to see her staring down the old man, and when you look down at Sans, he is glaring at the group of teenagers. 

You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding and give a nod, trying to ignore the dirty looks from the crowd. Most are indifferent. Of the people who take notice of you, more seem curious than outwardly hateful. 

It’s not so bad. You squeeze Sans’ shoulder before letting your hand slip down his arm to catch his hand. Turning to face Lisa, you offer her a grin and your arm. 

She looks surprised, but after a moment and a laugh she hooks arms with you, and the three of you head after the kids.

It’s still cold out, so you can pretend that that is the reason there is no line at the blue rabbit’s Nice Cream stall. He is exceptionally chipper and friendly. He ruffles Frisk’s hair and gives Sans a thumbs up and a wink. 

There are a lot of flavors - some normal, but some clearly from the underground. Frisk gets a scoop of butterscotch while Trent and Lisa get vanilla; Toriel gets snail and you try to hide your disgust at the idea of snail-flavored ice cream. 

MK gets some kind of yellow popsicle that Frisk helps him with, and the little monster’s parents decide to leave him in the care of Toriel while they finish up their shopping.

Ash is still undecided.

They regard the selection of Nice Cream with the scrutiny only a five year old can muster while the cheerful rabbit lists what he likes about each of the flavors. You keep shooting the rabbit apologetic looks, but he waves it off. 

Finally, they select a chocolate and strawberry swirl.

You're so relieved you just order the same as Sans, the rabbit hands you a pair of blue popsicles while Sans fishes out his wallet. 

With your hands full, you can’t really do more than pout at him in protest as he pays for yours and the kids’ Nice Cream. 

You pass him his popsicle before catching his free hand and leading him to where the others are sitting.

“Sib, Nice Cream is great!” Trent grins, already halfway through theirs. Judging by the amount smeared on Ash’s face, they’re enjoying it too. You grin, enjoying how simple and domestic this feels, enjoying being with your family and friends.

You turn your attention to your own Nice Cream, running your tongue along the side. It tastes, well… blue. It’s an odd mix, somewhere between vanilla and raspberry with a few other hints of flavor you can’t quite place, but leaves it tasting creamy, with a tingly aftertaste you have started to associate with monster food. 

It’s really good. You like it a lot.

Turning to face Sans, intent on asking him the flavor, you find his focus already on you. Well, on your mouth. His own Nice Cream is poised part way from his face to his mouth, and his eyes are following the movement of your lips and tongue as you enjoy your Nice Cream. He has a dusting of a blush across his cheekbones, and you can’t help but mirror it. 

It takes him a moment to realize you’ve caught him staring. His blush darkens and he pointedly takes a bite out of his own popsicle. You’re a little confused and somewhat amused by his reaction - it’s not like you were putting on a show or anything, you were just enjoying your Nice Cream.

Which reminds you.

Holding your popsicle between your teeth, you tug on his sleeve until he looksback at you, still pretty blue in the face.

***This is really good, what flavor is it?***

“echo flower. they’re big flowers that grow underground that repeat the last sound they hear” he hums, taking another bite of his popsicle.

You were never one for really biting ice cream - you give your popsicle a few more licks, analyzing the flavor. It doesn’t taste particularly floral to you, but then again, the underground is like a different world. 

***What was it like? Underground?***

You aren't expecting the flicker of darkness that crosses over Sans’ face. It’s only there for a second, but it holds so much emotion. Pain, loss, longing, desperation - there’s more, but you can’t place all of the emotions. You lean closer, not sure if you should comfort Sans or not.

Before you can decide, he slips back into his happy face and is grinning at you - well, more over your shoulder.

A quick glance shows that Frisk is watching him. They look so serious and adult for a child their age. But as soon as Sans’ grin is back in place, Frisk smiles and returns to signing at the other children.

That’s… odd.

You turn back to Sans and give him a questioning look. He’s still grinning, but you think he looks a little strained around the eye sockets. He gives you an almost pleading look before quickly signing to you.

***later.***

Slowly, you nodd. If the Underground is a painful memory, you know better than most how hard it can be to deal with those. You are patient; you’ll wait until Sans is ready to talk about it.

Perhaps a semi-crowded public place is not the best place for this story after all.

Sans looks truly grateful and finishes his Nice Cream, a bit dripping down his chin as he holds the stick in his teeth.

You touch your own chin and Sans arches a brow in confusion. Swallowing the last bit of your Nice Cream, you tug his stick from him and lean forward, licking the blue smudge before planting a kiss on his teeth.

He hums, and you feel it vibrate against your lips. This is nice, you could stay like this.

But you have an audience. 

A click of a camera.

Ash and MK groaning loudly and squealing “EEEEEEW!”

Trent’s quiet laugh and Toriel’s scandalized “Oh dear!”

Finally, a barely audible “Aww!” from Lisa in the seat next to you.

You pull apart, and you register that Sans is a good deal bluer than he was earlier. You’re blushing equally as red to match.

***You-you had some nice cream…***

You gesture to your face.

“heh, snow problem. but if i have that to look forward to, icey myself getting another nice cream,” he chuckles in a lower tone, leaning in.

Before anything happens, however, Toriel clears her throat loudly. When the two of you look at her, she pointedly looks at the children and you blush harder, this time out of embarrassment. 

You hide your face in your jacket, and as you do you hear a handful of giggles. It’s not long until you feel a boney arm wrap around you and pull you into a hug. You consider elbowing him because you can feel the quiet rumbling chuckle against his chest, but you decide you'd much rather hug him back.

Somewhat less embarrassed, you pull away and turn to Trent and Ash.

***Want to see the rest of the stalls? Pick out a treat to take home?***

“I don’t want to go back there. I want to go home with you,” Ash pouts, latching onto your leg. You ignore the sticky chocolate and strawberry smudge they make on your pants as they rub their face against you. Leaning down, you pick them up.

Hugging Ash against you, you extend an arm to Trent, who’s been quiet. They don’t look at you, but they come over and hug against your side. 

“How long do we have to stay there? It’s crowded, and some of the other kids can be really mean,” they muttered. You squeeze them against you and shut your eyes. You take a moment to just hug them and be here with them.

You really don’t want to let them go.

Lisa clears her throat. Glancing up, she gives you a questioning look and you give a nod. You don’t really want to let go of your siblings to talk right now.

“If everything goes well, maybe mid to late February. If you're truly unhappy with this foster home, I could see about moving the two of you to another, less crowded one. But I can’t promise it will be as close to your sibling, so visits might be harder.” She sounds apologetic, and you squeeze your siblings again. You feel a hand rubbing your back, and you don’t even need to look to know it’s Sans. 

All the contact grounds you, helps you stop thinking about everything you need to do and stay in the now. There will be a time to dwell on the future later.

“We want to stay close to them,” Trent mutters Ash gives a nod of agreement before they finally pull away from you.

“Let's go look at the stalls.” Ash is mostly back to their happy self, but you catch the little sadness in their voice. 

You stand, pulling Sans up with you and looping an arm around his shoulder. His arm falls to your hip as the children take off, Toriel, Frisk and MK sticking close to them.

“I… I know this feels like it's taking a long time. But it will work out in the end. I’m sure of it!” Lisa offers you a very determined grin and crosses her arms. You smile and lean a little more against Sans.

You take another moment. Lisa goes ahead to chat with Toriel and you hold onto Sans. He doesn’t say anything or press, simply letting you gather yourself. 

***I should start looking for an apartment or a house to rent.***

You sign sluggishly as you move to follow after the others.

“house hunting really pounds in the ‘reality’ of the situation.” The way he stresses the word and grins up at you makes you roll your eyes and hold back a quiet giggle. 

***That was a stretch.***

“they can’t all be winners,” he shrugs. “house about we look through some of those listings Lisa’s been sending us tonight?”

You pause, turning to face him and signing slowly. You are wearing what he has fondly dubbed your ‘pun face’.

***But I was Estate-ic for another Wing Dings lesson.***

You have to spell it out, but Sans is getting better at catching onto your signed puns.

You both have a bit of a giggle fit as you catch up with the others, right in time to see Ash harassing a vendor for free samples.

You end up buying some of the ladies’ chocolates for Ash to take home with them and not eat all at once. You stress the ‘not eat all at once’ part several times before letting the child have their candy. 

“i didn’t realize you liked those lessons so much. you’re… picking it up faster than I thought you would, heh,” Sans comments when you return to him.

***I like your voice. I’ll gladly sit through any class if you were the one teaching me.***

You grin before casting a quick glance around. Toriel has her back to you and the kids are distracted with a bead stall. Taking your chance, you sweep down and press a kiss to his very blue cheekbone before continuing.

***And… I’ve been so happy with you and Paps. I don’t really want to move away from that.***

Sans tugs you to a stop again and turns you to face him. Not wanting to take your hands away from you, he rests his on your sides. He won’t look up at you and he looks fairly nervous.

“look, ah… i know we’ve been together for less than a week. i know we’ve only known each other for a little over a month but, ah… i was thinking. well. me and paps were thinking… we’d really like to move into a house soon, now that we got a feel for this city.”

He is muttering and still not looking at you, but his hands still hold tightly onto your sides, though not enough that it hurt. You’re worried, nervous, but you wait, letting him gather his words. When he seems, stuck you rest one hand on his shoulder and another on his cheek.

“we were thinking, maybe…”

He’s cut off as a weight strikes you in the back of your knees and sends you practically falling into him.

“Sib, there's this street musician and she’s got the prettiest voice! She and this neat monster guy are selling CD’s and singing! Can I get one? I haven't gotten new music in forever!”

It’s rare to see Trent get so passionate about something. Though you distinctly remember getting them several new music CD’s for Christmas, so their idea of forever is much different than yours.

You’re still a little distracted as you right yourself. Glancing at Sans, he seems a little relieved and nervous. He doesn’t have to vocalize or sign for you to understand.

Later, you’ll talk about it later.

“I don’t ‘note’ about you, babe, but i kinda want to check out these musicians.” He arches a brow at you and you grin down at Trent.

***If Trent likes them, they can’t be treble.***

This earns a giggle out of Trent and a chuckle from Sans as the three of you head towards the musicians.

Sans squeezes your hand and you offer him a smile. You try not to worry, not to think about it too much. But you can’t help but feel a little nervous. Sans looks nervous, too, but you don’t have a bad feeling about it… but at the same time, you aren't going to let yourself get your hopes up.

The rest of the day is a blur. You end up buying the CD for Trent, and you are overjoyed to find a stall you remember from your college years that sells some of the best bread you’ve ever had. 

You buy a loaf of french bread and goad Lisa into buying a baguette. While you’re there, Sans wanders off, and you find him at a stand that’s selling ‘artisan’ condiments. You are not surprised when he walks away with several bottles of catsup. 

It’s a good day. One of the funnest days you’ve had in a long time. 

But that doesn’t stop it from hurting so much when Lisa has to take the kids back to the foster home.

You try not to cry, you really do. You’re probably squeezing Sans’ hand too hard, but he only returns the pressure. It’s not a long walk from the waterfront to the apartment building. Maybe a little over a mile. But it was quiet.

Every now and then, Toriel and Sans trade puns to fill the silence, but you can only offer them a handful of smiles in return. You’re nervous, and without the noise of Trent and Ash around you, it’s hard to keep yourself from thinking about the future.

Taking several deep breaths, you squeeze Sans’ hand again before loosing your grip to be more comfortable. 

You have several emails to write when you get home.


	20. CHAPTER 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The amazing [Maybeapples](http://archiveofourown.org/users/maybeapples/pseuds/maybeapples) Edited this!  
> I draw crap and put it on my tumblr~ [Octogator was taken so It's Allipuss.](http://allipuss.tumblr.com/)  
>   
> Happy Valentines day everyone! I meant to post this sooner but my nets been a little funky.

The apartment is empty when you and Sans get home. You aren't surprised - Mettaton has a tour coming up and is trying to spend as much time with Papyrus as he can before he leaves.

Sans is trying very hard to be ok with this, but the house seems so much quieter without the large rambunctious skeleton filling the void with his presence. Sans still dislikes Mettaton. You aren't sure if Sans is ever going to LIKE Mettaton.

But he manages to tolerate him. 

In small dosages. 

It helps that Papyrus reaches a whole new level of happy when he is with the flamboyant robot.

Sans wanders into the kitchen and you head towards the couch, stopping at one of your boxes to dig out your laptop. It probably doesn’t even have a charge, so you found yourself pulling out the cable, too. It will make it easier to house hunt, and you don’t particularly enjoy writing emails on your phone.

Once you’re settled into the corner of the couch and are patiently watching your computer start up, Sans returns from the kitchen. 

A mug that you have practically claimed as your own in one hand and a bottle of catsup in the other.

He looks nervous.

You offer him a grin and beckon him closer, trying to ignore your own nerves. 

***You look a little sternum, wanna cuddle?***

“heh, don’t know if i’m carpal-ble of cuddling with a joke thief.” Sans lets out a soft chuckle as he sits beside you and hands you the mug. A quick check tells you it’s tea. You sit your laptop on the coffee table before turning to face him, scooching over so that your legs are touching but you aren't crowding him.

***What’s up? You’ve seemed off today.***

You hesitantly sign, not wanting to push, but from the way he fidgets and plays with the cap of his catsup, you figure he wants to talk but can’t find his words.

You take a drink of your tea and wait. Eventually, Sans throws back a long pull of catsup and turns to face you. 

“just a… lot on my mind. been a little bone tired, too. heh.” He chuckles and waves it off. You give a slow nod; you know he’s deflecting, but you don’t want to push him.

***I’m here for you, Sans. You’ve held me through some of the hardest days of my life… You make me happy. I want to be there for you, too.***

He doesn't respond right away, but his eyes are on your hands. You catch one of his hands and press it against your face into his palm, relishing the texture of his warm bones against your skin. Finally, you press a kiss to his fingers before releasing his hand. 

Sans doesn't pull away, instead he lets his hand brush along your cheekbones before tangling in your hair and pulling you against him.

“babe… sweetheart…” he mutters against your neck as he brushes his teeth over your exposed skin. “you're too good for me… i don’t know what i did to deserve a friend like you… let alone a, this.” He’s holding you tightly and you wrap your arms around him, holding him just as tight.

You stay like that awhile. You tea is probably cold and you’ve started tracing little patterns over his clothed back and shoulders. Sans seems content to hold you, his head nestled into the hollow of your neck. He’s fairly still, it’s possible he’s fallen asleep.

You're ok with this. If he’s tired, if he hasn’t been sleeping well… then you aren't going to be the one to wake him.

Another handful of minutes pass and Sans finally loosens his hold. He doesn't make a move to pull away and you're perfectly happy cuddling here.

“h...how much of the letter have you translated…” his voice is so quiet, you barely catch it. You can feel his hands tighten in your sweater before he pulls away. You don’t want him to go, but he had asked a question.

You close your eyes and think. You don’t have to ask to know what he’s talking about. You don’t want to get up and get the book; you don’t want to pull farther away from Sans than you have to. 

***Most of the first paragraph. I don’t want to skip ahead cause I feel like it’s important to read it in order.***

Sans flushes a deep blue and gives a little nod. “y-yeah… it is.” You wait, but he is still watching your hands  so you continue, a soft smile on your face as you recall the words.

***You said I leave you tongue tied, then made a joke about it. Then you said you liked me a lot… then something about souls? Then, that humans and monsters do relationships differently?***

You sign the last part as a question - there are still portions missing, or that you aren't sure were translated right.

Sans is… a very pretty blue. You would enjoy it if he didn’t look so nervous. Leaning forward, you bump your forehead against his, and hold up your hands.

***For the record, I like you a lot, too.***

He lets out a shaky breath and then a small chuckle before he tilts his head enough to brush teeth against lips. 

“i shouldn’t have been nervous… you're perfect.”

You lean back arching a brow in question. You? Perfect? Hardly. You’re a mess, you’re just figuring out how to hold yourself together. How to be you again. You aren't perfect. If anything, Sans, your anchor, your rock, your… safety, he is perfect. You raise your hands to tell him as much, but he shakes his head as if he read your mind. 

“so… what, ah… what i wanted to ask back there was… well… me and Paps, we used to have a house, we’re used to more space than this, it’d be nice to have a yard… and, well… Paps’ voice really isn’t meant for cramped living like this.”

You both chuckle at that before you give him a nod to continue. You have a fairly good idea where this was going.

“well, i mean… well, if you were a monster this would be normal… so please don’t be weirded out, but um... we’d really like to rent a house with you. one that has room for Trent and Ash… n-no pressure, it's just… we really like you… i really like you… we’ve gotten used to having you around.”

He takes a breath, and he looks like he is preparing to ramble some more, but you hold a hand up to silence him. Sans looks nervous… almost scared. You don’t like this look on him. You lean forward to bump your forehead against his and let your eyes close for a moment.

You need to think.

A month doesn't sound like that long to know someone. But… it doesn't feel like a month. When you think of the monsters you’ve met, they feel like friends you’ve known for years. When you think of skeleton brothers… they feel like family. Sans, well… Sans feels like more.

So much more.

So little time, even your peers and teachers from before… the people you knew for years, didn’t feel this close.

A month.

Really, closer to a month and a half now.

It’s surreal. It’s strange.

It feels right.

This feels like where you belong.

You give a short nod before pulling back and opening your eyes.  

Sans looks… well, still scared, but there is a glimmer of hope in his eyes and you offer him a grin and nod again. 

The worry breaks from his face and he offers you a relieved smile, leaning forward and wrapping his arms around you, tucking his head under your chin where you feel him take several slow, measured breaths.

You want to talk to him, ask him things, but you don’t want to pull away. This must have been eating at him for a while now. You feel… well, awful, for not noticing sooner. Sans has done so much for you. Been there for you in so many ways, been your rock.

You want to be his.

You want to be strong enough to support him too, help him like he helps you. You know a mask when you see one, and Sans’ has started slipping around you. You quite like this affectionate, shy skeleton you're discovering under the disguise of a cocky jokester.

You lean back, pulling Sans with you and wrapping your arms around his back. You feel Sans chuckle against you as he wraps his arms around your waist and makes himself comfortable while he half-lays on you. 

He finally settles with his head propped up on your chest, tilted to see your face as your fingers play along the back of his head and neck. 

“so… this is ok? you're not freaked out about moving in with two guys you’ve just met?” His voice is soft and you can see a flicker of worry back in his eyes. 

You offer him another smile and nod, letting your fingers trace over the dome of his skull before you pull back enough to sign.

***It’s ok. It feels fast, but it also feels… right.***

You pause, letting your fingers trace over his cheekbones for a moment, trying to rub away some of his stress and worry. You don’t know if it works, but he seems to be enjoying your attention.

The pair of you stay like that until Papyrus comes home. 

The taller skeleton walks in looking practically love drunk with a faint dusting of orange on his cheeks and a silly smile across his face. The smile only grows when he sees the pair of you cuddling on the couch.

“FRIEND, BROTHER! I SEE YOU TWO ARE BEING LAZYBONES BUT SEEING HOW HAPPY YOU ARE I WILL ALLOW IT!” He all but yells as he strikes a noble pose. 

Reluctantly, you and Sans hurry to separate before Papyrus can dig out his phone. There is a slight pout on Papyrus’ face that earns a chuckle from Sans and a silent giggle from you. 

“How were your siblings? Myself and Metta are sorry we missed the visit, but it is hard for Mettaton to go to public places like that without causing a scene.” Papyrus does look somewhat sad for having missed the event.

You’ll make sure to take Papyrus next time, you're sure he will love it.

***Next time we will do something where Metta doesn't have to dodge Paparazzi.***

You offer with a grin, and this earns a snort from Sans and a slightly confused look from Papyrus.

“he doesn't dodge them, babe.”

“You misunderstand, friend, he adores his public and, well… He can get distracted and forget about the people around him. He would not want to take away from your time with your siblings simply because he got overwhelmed with his stardom!” Papyrus lets out a sigh and a shrug. 

You're a little confused, but Papyrus waves it off, heading into the kitchen.

Soon, he lets out a squeal of joy at seeing the things you have brought back from the market. It’s declared that tonight will be a night for spaghetti and garlic bread, and you let out a chuckle.

You feel the couch shift, and you turn back to Sans in time to see him getting up. You shoot him a questioning glance and he shrugs.

“gotta work, it's a short shift tonight, so i’ll be home before you guys hit the sack.” He offers an apologetic smile before pressing his teeth to your forehead. 

***What job?***

You know he has several, and judging by the time of day you doubt he is going to put a shift in at the hotdog cart. 

“one of the retail ones. don’t sweat it babe, it’s calmed down a lot since the holiday season’s over.” He hums.

You lean up, brushing your lips against his teeth briefly.

***We can house hunt when you get back! Or read.***

You grin and wave at him as he slowly makes his way to the door.

“heh, sure thing babe, sounds like you got our evening ‘book’ed.” He chuckles before blinking out of the room.

You look at the spot he was in for a long moment before you hear a clatter of pans from the kitchen.

It would probably be a good idea to help Papyrus with dinner.

It’s nice, spending time with the younger skeleton. Papyrus may be a shipping dork, but he is the biggest, sweetest goober you have ever met. You adore him.

As happy as Mettaton has been making Papyrus, you really miss the time you used to spend together doing simple things like cooking and cleaning. You miss it. 

You understand why Papyrus and Mettaton are soaking in every moment they can get.

The robot superstar is going to be the first monster to have an international concert tour. It’s a big thing, and it’s going to last for nearly a year. It’s going to be intense and crazy and Mettaton won’t have the time to fly back into town between concerts.

So it makes sense that Paps is getting as much one-on-one time as he can before they are reduced to phone and skype calls.

House hunting, and hopefully moving, should provide a good distraction while he adjusts. Paps might even be able to find a job on that side of the city, nearer the college people are a bit more open minded. 

Or at least, they had been.

Papyrus welcomes your help in the kitchen, and together you make a pretty good batch of spaghetti and nothing catches on fire. You take charge of the garlic bread and you’re happy with how it turns out.

Your mind wanders as you eat and listen to a Mettaton broadcast, enjoying how excited Papyrus gets at seeing his boyfriend on TV. They seem to just meld together, fall into a relationship like this is what they’ve been doing for much longer than a week.

Part of it, you think, might be because both are so very flamboyant and give everything their all.

But maybe it's more than that?

Sans said human relationships are different than monster ones. Has he been holding back, going slower than he would be used to, just because you're human?

You don’t have to ask Sans to know that he would sidestep that question in a heartbeat. Well. If he had a heart.

You giggle at your internal joke and wave off Papyrus’ glance - he wouldn’t appreciate it.

You could ask Papyrus… but, well… That’s… that would be like asking a little brother for relationship advice. You KNOW Papyrus is far from the innocent cinnamon roll disguise he wears, you’ve seen glimpses of the perceptive and crafty skeleton underneath. But, well… You just can’t bring yourself to ask Papyrus.

It would be awkward for all parties involved.

Glancing towards the door, you think of Toriel. She’s a better option than Papyrus, but, well… She is everything you wish your mother was, and it just feels wrong coming to her with that kind of question. 

No, you can’t. You have a horrible suspicion that if you asked, she would sit you down for the monster equivalent of the birds and the bees talk. 

You need someone blunt and to the point, someone who won’t get weirded out or be awkward about your stupid human questions.

This leaves you two options.

Alphys and Undyne.

You fish out your phone and settle into your side of the couch, tucking your feet under you as you start to text.

_ *I have a question about monster relationships.  _

It’s simple to make a small group text, adding one ‘Strong Fish’, and one ‘cat emoji Dino’.

You settle back into watching the show, listening to Papyrus ramble on about his favorite parts. At least, you do for all of the thirty seconds it takes for your phone to explode with texts. 

You honestly weren't expecting such an immediate response.

_ *WHAT DID THAT NERD DO? _

_ *We’ll try to answer your questions. =^w^= _

_ *Sans didn’t do anything. He’s been very sweet and kind. He just mentioned that human relationships are different than monster ones. _

_ *Oh. yeah, humans are a lot more cautious with relationships I’ve observed. Well, I mean, not so much in anime. _

_ *Humans are dorks and can’t feel or see how well they mesh up with someone else so they move really freaking slow in relationships. _

_ *Like. They take YEARS of dating to get together when like, with monsters you pretty much know right away if you're going to work or not. _

_ *Oh, so then Sans and myself are moving really slow? _

_ *YES. _

_ *Not… Necessarily. _

_ *Babe, all they do is cuddle and smooch. Not even like real smooching, just like shy nerd smooching. At this rate it will be like a year before they even talk about soul stuff. _

_ *Soul stuff? _

Your phone suddenly goes very quiet. You wonder if maybe you stepped over some cultural line or something. Tucking your phone in your lap, you turn your focus back to the TV.

It’s nearly fifteen minutes, and your eyes have shifted to your laptop debating whether or not to write those emails right now, when your phone finally goes off once more with a chain of texts from Undyne.

_ *Look, so soul stuff is kinda personal and intimate. You should probably talk to Sans about that stuff when you feel like you're ready for that step. What brought all this on anyway? You guys may be moving as slow as snails, but you seem happy. _

_ *Sans asked me to rent a house with him and Paps. One big enough for Trent and Ash too, he got really nervous about it.  _

_ *You're already living with them, so what was the big deal. _

_ *There wasn’t one. I’d be happy to continue living with them as friends or otherwise. It feels right. Humans usually don’t do this though, I think that's why he was nervous. _

_ *Humans don’t move in with the people they are dating? Man I moved in with Alphys right away. I mean, I had also burned down my house but I would have totally moved in with her anyway! _

_ *Well they do, but generally not with people they have been dating for barely a week. Or have only known for a month and some change. But well… they feel like family. You guys feel like family.  _

_ *... Nerd if you keep that up I’m going to have to drive over there and hug the shit out of you! _

_ *I mean if you wanted to, me and Paps are just chilling and watching MTT. _

_ *Nah, later, me and the babe are about to start up a new Anime, Madoka Majika or something like that? _

_ *Ooh…I know that one... _

_ *What do you mean ooh?  _

_ *Its got some really great reviews online and the character design looks really cute!  _

_ *No no, it’s good. It’s really good. Have fun! _

You flinch as you send that last text. You may not have watched much anime growing up, but you know a few. You have a few you had really enjoyed. Those two are going to be in for quite the emotional rollercoaster. 

“heh, what’s your phone saying that’s got you making a face like that?” You glance up to see Sans walking in from the kitchen, his plate in hand as he stuffs garlic bread in his mouth. Surprised, you glance at the clock.

Time sure moves quickly when you're asking weird interspecies relationship questions. 

***Undyne and Alphys are watching an anime I recognize.***

He chuckles and Papyrus lets out a knowing humm. “Yes, some of their viewing choices can be questionable at best.” He nods.

The rest of his food gone, Sans comes to the couch and takes his place between you and Paps, half leaning on you. “it a bad one then? can’t be worse than mew mew kissy cutie.” He chuckles.

***No, no its really good, it’s just super sad.***

You offer a shrug and rest your weight against Sans instead of the armrest, pulling your laptop over. 

Sans seems moderately interested in what you’re doing rather than the MTT Cooking show that the TV has been tuned to.

You open up an email to your old professor and advisor and, well… you had considered him a friend, but you’re not sure where you stand with the elderly physicist anymore. He had… not been happy when you left.

You hope he understood.

Hell, you hope he’s still working at the University. 

You start with the typical ‘Hello, it’s been too long, how have you been’, sparing a few sentences for it before getting to the point. Professor Parnell had never been one for an excess of pleasantries and social exercises.

He would prefer it if you got to the point.

You want to know about rejoining the program, what classes you would need to retake, how far were you set back. When would you be able to start in the spring semester?

It feels good to type. You’re - you’re going back. You’re going to go back to school, getting your degree. You’re going to do it.

Your eyes shift to the skeleton who is not so subtly reading over your shoulder as you type out the next few lines.

About a monster who expressed interest in validating their degrees from underground. You know the campus is fairly monster friendly, it had been all over the news when the first handful of monsters started attending. 

But validating degrees can be tricky and take time. 

You want to set up a meeting.

You turn your attention to Sans to find him looking slightly nervous and fiddling with the zipper of his coat.

“you… don’t have to, babe. you don’t need to stick your neck out for me.” He mumbles, his voice barely audible.

***Want to. You promised to go with me if I went back to school.***

You nudge him and press a kiss to his temple.

“heh, yeah, guess i did. but still, what if this guy isn’t a fan of monsters?”

***From what I remember of him, I don’t think he would care.***

You shrug, and Sans gives a little nod, resting his head against yours and closing his eyes. “alright.”

You turn back to the email and reread it. You start to feel a little nervous. What if he doesn't remember you, what if he’s disappointed in you? 

What if he doesn't like monsters?

Your list of worries goes on and on but you close your eyes, take a breath, and hit the send button.


	21. CHAPTER 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So uh... Its been a while huh? Sorry doesn't really cut it especially since I've still been active on tumblr and not here. Depressions a bitch but its no excuse for disappearing off the face of the earth for like a month. I'll not trouble you with it and let you get to the story.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING  
> Suicide mention
> 
> The amazing [Maybeapples](http://archiveofourown.org/users/maybeapples/pseuds/maybeapples) Edited this!  
> I draw NSFW crap and put it on my tumblr~ [Octogator was taken so It's Allipuss.](http://allipuss.tumblr.com/)  
>   
> 

You aren't one to dream. At least not normally. Maybe when you were younger, you had a handful of fanciful dreams, but you don’t remember any of them. Sometimes, on bad nights, you replay parts of your past.

But you hesitate to call those dreams. 

After all, those are memories.

Right now? Right now you are dreaming.

Everything is white, it stretches on forever. You're not sure if you are standing or floating. You think you move forward? Or perhaps the whiteness is moving around you. Or is everything still?

You aren't sure. 

You’re content to wait, see where this odd dream takes you, see what happens. It doesn’t feel threatening - if anything, you feel safe. Nearly as safe as you feel next to Sans.

It’s nice.

You could get used to dreams like this.

Time has no meaning here, but you don’t think it’s terribly long until the silence begins to fill itself with a low static hum, and you feel warmth envelop you.

The static forms words but you can’t understand them, you can’t find their source, but it feels like they echo around you.

Does the voice belong to this white void? Or is it simply another inhabitant? 

Curiosity, overwhelming curiosity fills you. A desire to learn, understand, know everything about you. Know everything you know.

Below that is protectiveness, though not directed at you. Sadness, loneliness, god, so much loneliness it’s heartbreaking, soul crushing, overwhelming.

You feel it for barely a moment before the static disappears, taking the voice and the emotions with it.

You aren't sure if you like this dream anymore.

The white shifts and blurs - you want to close your eyes to block out the sudden shift and explosion of color, but you can’t.

Finally, they settle into a sickeningly familiar scene.

No.

Your father is tall and handsome. With a smile that never quite reaches his eyes. You think that maybe before the military it might have? You were too young to remember. 

He is there for you. The kind and understanding father. He is your best friend, your confidant. You tell him everything.

You tell him about how you worry your mother doesn’t love you. How kids tease you for being quiet. How you have a crush on a boy who turns out to be a jerk.

Everything.

He teaches you how to sign, first military signs, simple things that got drilled into him.

Yes, no, go, stay, safe, danger.

It helps, you don’t have to talk in public when you’re with him. You can point, give and understand simple hand signs. You open up.

It is during a Parent-teacher conference that one of your teachers suggests ASL.

You take to it like a fish to water. You had always loved learning and this is something new, something that lets you talk without having to ‘talk’; you love it. Your dad learns beside you and helps you.

Many of your teachers know at least a handful of signs, since it is a larger school in a city. You aren't even the only kid at school who signs. Turns out one of the kids in your class has a deaf parent, and you become fast friends.

It’s nice, you have friends, you have family. Your mother isn’t really around, and sometimes your father gets sad, but everything is ok. 

At least, it is for a little while.

You are an observer. You’re stuck, you can’t wake up, you can’t look away.

No, please.

You are clutching a paper to your chest. It’s a bright pink flyer for the science fair. You are excited - on the back, you’ve written out a whole slew of ideas for your project. You can’t wait to brainstorm with your dad. 

You grin at the door man, giving him a shy wave as you race up the stairs. You are old enough to walk to and from school, it’s only a block away so it’s not a big deal. You’re hardly the only kid walking to and from school.

Second floor, three doors down.

Please… Anything but this.

You grin the door is unlocked so that means your dad is home. It’s dark. It’s quiet you feel a tinge of apprehension. Maybe your mother has forgotten to lock the door? It's happened before. 

You're starting to panic. Not the child you, the child you is stepping into an apartment with a similar layout to the one you're currently living in. No, you the observer are screaming and begging in your mind.

You don’t want to see this.

Not again.

Please.

Curiosity, worry, suspicion, and a comforting warmth settle around you, calming you enough for the dream to continue. 

You call out to your father. A pause, then you call for your mother. Voice soft and quiet. No response. You step into the kitchen, dropping your backpack and leaving the flyer on the table. You get a snack from the fridge, a handful of baby carrots and a stick of string cheese, not the most exciting, but you like it. 

You eat your snack happily, sit at the table and do your homework. Now and again, you glance at the door or the clock. Your dad should be home by now. He is almost always home when you get off school.

You finish, pack up your backpack and leave it by the door. Glancing down the hall, you see the light to your father's office on. 

He never leaves it on unless he is in there, perhaps he just didn’t hear you come home? You take a step down the hallway, calling for your father again.

You the watcher start to fight again, the warmth squeezing you, the curiosity nearly burning you as you watch yourself step forward, fingers brushing against the doorknob.

No. No. No.

Don’t.

Don’t look. You don’t need to see it.

**_"Yes I do."_ **

The door creeks open, your voice catches in your throat as you freeze.

Red, so much red. Splattered against your father's bookshelf, all his medals and books marred with the sticky color.

Your father is slumped in his chair, head leaned back. He could have been sleeping. He could have been. But he wasn’t. Even at that age you knew he wasn’t. Hot tears fell down your cheeks and someone screamed.

You screamed. Was it you the child or the you watching? Was it both? Was it just you?

Horror, Sorrow, regret.  

Something tries to pull you away, but you are too far gone - you have to finish the memory now. 

You barely register as red stains your hands, you are grabbing your father's shoulder, shaking him, screaming, anything to bring him back. You’re looking anywhere but his face. If you didn’t look, you could pretend it was fine, you could pretend that there wasn’t a gaping hole in the side of his head.

Wake up. Please.

You’re screaming it over and over. Wake up. Wake Up WAKE UP. 

**_“Wake up.”_ **

You scream until your voice is hoarse. Scream until the neighbors find you clutching what is left of your father, still sobbing for him to wake up.

**_“WAKE UP.”_ **

Your eyes shoot open, a scream stalling in your throat and the memory still fresh in your mind. You fight against your blankets until you are free and standing. 

No.

Why?

Why now? Things have been going so well. Why that memory now? You scrub your hands against the front of your shirt. You can still feel the cold, half-dried blood on your hands. You feel dirty. 

You haven’t made a sound, the brothers are still sleeping. It’s late, the apartment is dark. It looks too similar to your old home. It’s too much. You can’t be here right now. You need air, you need to move, you need to get your mind back.

You slip your coat on and step into your boots. You pause at the door, mind going to Sans - you even manage to glance down the hall. 

No, you can’t. It’s… it’s too similar. You don’t want to see it. God, why do you have to relive it. You know it isn’t THAT hall, but you can’t bring yourself to go knock on the door. No, you can’t stay here right now. You need to go.

You need to calm down.

You need to move.

You should tell him.

You force yourself to take a step, and then another, towards the hallway. It’s not that far, it’s not that hallway, it’s Sans’ room, not your father's office. 

You make it two more steps before the images flash back into your mind, as fresh as they ever are.

No.

No, you can’t.

Don’t look, why did you have to look. Your hands are rubbing against your coat, trying to wipe off blood that's not there. You’re moving. When did you start moving?

It's cold, when did you get outside? 

It doesn't matter, you're not in the apartment. It’s cold. You can focus on that. Focus on moving, focus on what's around you.

Don’t think about it, it happened years ago, stay in the present.

Your feet hurt, but your legs are numb. How long ago did you stop rubbing your hands against your coat in favor of clutching it around you? Your lungs are burning, and your tears are half-frozen on your cheeks.

Slow down. How long have you been running? Where are you? You finally come to a stop, taking in your surroundings. You’re at the waterfront, halfway across one of the walking bridges. 

With how cold you are and the sharp pain shooting through your feet, it’s not going to be a fun walk home. 

Your phone buzzes. Or did it stop buzzing? It changes and you notice it. You must have left it in your coat pocket. Your hands skim over the front of your coat, finally finding your phone. It takes you longer than normal to pull it out, your hands are shaking so badly that you nearly drop it. 

So many missed calls, and a near flood of texts, all from Sans.

_ Where are you?  _

_ The front door was open, your coats not here. _

_ What happened? _

_ Are you alright? _

_ Babe. _

_ Sweetheart. _

_ Please. _

It goes on and on. God, you are awful. Your fingers shake over the keys, but before you can, your phone starts to ring again.

Sans, of course it’s Sans. He’s probably in a near panic trying to hunt you down this late at night… this early in the morning.

You fight back a sob, he deserves better than you, someone more put together than you. He is just going to leave, just like everyone else you’ve loved.

Stop it. That’s not true. Trent and Ash didn’t leave.

But they got taken.

You’ll get them back.

He’ll still leave, you’re to much trouble, you run off in the middle of the night and worry him sick.

He won’t, he’s your friend.

Then why won’t you talk to him? Why won’t you answer the phone.

How long have you been standing here, letting your phone ring in your hand?

You slide the button to answer.

Your boyfriend’s deep worried voice echoes from the speaker before you can even bring it to your ear, calling out your name. You can hear the panic in his voice. He sounds raspier than normal, and from the background noise, he is clearly outside. 

“Where are you? Shit… Are you ok? Are you there? Babe?” You let out a shaky sob and clutch the phone to your chest. You hear a muffled growl coming from it, unable to make out his words.

“Please… I need to know you're alright.” He… he sounds as broken as you feel. You did this to him, made him feel this, how could you.

Another sob as you fall to your knees. You don’t care that you’re in public, nobody is awake at this hour, nobody can see you crying your eyes out on the little walking bridge. 

Nobody would be able to hear you.

Nobody but the one who matters, the one who needs it.

When was the last time you spoke? Said a word, any word? You bring the phone to your face, Sans is still calling your name, so much more frantic and worried than you have ever heard him.

He is always calm, always in control. You’ve never heard him like this.

This is your fault.

Do you even remember how to speak? You mouth the syllables, it feels so strange. But…

It feels right. 

“S….Sans.”

Your voice is quiet and unsure as you stumble over his name. Still, the other line goes silent. 

He is quiet for a long moment. You can hear him take in a long breath before he responds his voice shaky but laced with hope and wonder.

“Sw… sweetheart?”

You smile, a crooked shaky smile that’s more relief than happiness. That was… easier than you thought.

You open your mouth, a flare of confidence sparking in you. You can do this, you can speak to him. 

“Sa-”

Something hard strikes your head, knocking the phone from your grasp and throwing you to the ground.

You hear Sans screaming for you and you let out a pained grunt reaching for your phone. Your fingers wrap around it as a booted foot comes slamming down on your outstretched hand, and you heard the sickening crunch of your fingers before the pain hits you.

A scream rips through your throat as the boot stomps against your hand again. 

“S-SANS!” 

The third time, Sans’ voice is cut off by static, and you feel shards of the broken phone cut into your hand as you finally look up at your attacker.

A sadistic grin and a billow of smoke are all you register before something strikes your head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come back from over a month and I give you this. I maybe be just a bit evil. don't worry, the next few chapters should be coming out much sooner then this one did.


	22. CHAPTER 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for violence and some bloody stuff in this chapter.
> 
> Also I have a question for ya'll at the end of the chapter!
> 
> The amazing [Maybeapples](http://archiveofourown.org/users/maybeapples/pseuds/maybeapples) Edited this!  
> I draw NSFW crap and put it on my tumblr~ [Octogator was taken so It's Allipuss.](http://allipuss.tumblr.com/)  
>   
> 

A familiar blue fire burns from his left socket. He is locked in that space between dreaming and awareness, still lingering on the last few images of his nightmare.

Finally, with a gasp, his sockets snap open and he sits up, nearly falling off his mattress and fighting his way out of his tangle of sheets. It takes him a few minutes to gather himself, but then, it always takes him a few minutes.

Breathing back to normal and magic calming down to an uneasy simmer, Sans grinds his palms into his eye sockets. 

That was unsettling. 

He is no stranger to nightmares, he’s had them for the majority of his life. 

The last two years, his nightmares showcased a dusty red scarf and a golden hallway. But then, has it really only been two years? With the resets, the passage of time was more complicated. Sometimes he feels lucky - he doesn’t remember all the little details like Frisk does. He just has his notes, his workshop, his bits and pieces.

And of course, the nightmares.

His brother crumbling to dust, still pleading with Frisk, believing them able to be a better person. Standing in that golden hallway, facing down a dust covered child with soulless red eyes. Standing over their broken and crumpled body once the life left them, and them just looking like a scared kid. Being cut down by that child, dragging himself from the room as he starts turning to dust.

He is no stranger to nightmares.

Ever since he met you? Well, his subconscious has been getting a little more creative. It’s you, crumpled and broken that he stands above. Not in the golden hallway, but in that bastard’s apartment, an alleyway on the way to Muffet’s, outside of Grillby’s. Places you would go with him.

Places he would go to look for you.

It’s almost like…

No. 

Frisk said no more resets.

They have never gotten this far before.

He’s sure he’s never met you before this timeline. 

He would remember meeting you. He’s sure of it. You’re his… you are special.

Stars above, you have no idea what you are to him. What you mean to him.

Another deep breath and he looks at the clock. It’s late, or early, depending on how you look at it. Sans is confident he hasn’t made a sound. He’s had years of practice, after all. Even before the resets, he had nightmares of a half-remembered man. All he had was a drawing, a handful of pictures, and some books.

And nightmares.

Of his melting face, hands reaching out in regret as he falls into the core.

Falls? Or jumps?

Sans is never sure.

Sometimes, he dreams, and it feels like his father is reaching out, trying to contact him. But that can’t be true. The man is dead.

No.

Worse than dead.

Erased. 

Sans remembers. He is almost positive Papyrus has dreams of his father, even if he forgets them shortly afterwards.

Sometimes, Alphys gets this look on her face, like she is remembering.

But it’s always fleeting. 

Sans takes another breath and moves to stand at his window. It’s too bright in the city to see the stars properly, but it feels good to see the sky. It helps to ground himself while he goes over his dream.

It's been awhile since he’s woken up so panicked. 

He was in the hallway, but you stood in the place of judge. Your back was to him and you didn’t move as he approached you.

‘......................................’

You had turned, your mouth was moving, but nothing but static came out. Static he remembered from a very different set of dreams.

The walls started to melt, and it was just you and him. Your mouth opened again, letting out the static and a voice he long forgot  came out.

**_“Wake up.”_ **

You stumbled, clutching your face, and Sans rushed forward to catch you.

**_“I… miscalculated. Wake up.”_ **

You were gone; the room was white, and Sans saw the shadow of a dark figure before he woke up, his magical fire burning in his eye and a sense of panic and urgency gripping his soul.

Another deep breath, and Sans steps through the void. 

It wouldn’t hurt to check on you. He just wants to see you.

His sockets land on the empty couch and his soul pulses in worry.

No.

Your name falls from his non existent throat.

The door is open. He doesn’t need to search the apartment to know you are not here.

He teleports. 

The front of the complex. You aren't there. His phone is in his hand and he is texting you before he knows it.

He teleports again. 

No.

He calls you -

You don’t pick up.

He calls you again and again.

Texts you.

Nothing.

His soul burns. He’s worried. Terrified.

He needs to find you.

He calls again.

Sans is so far beyond panicking at this point. 

It takes him a moment to realize you picked up.

Sans calls out your name, and flinches at the amount of worry in his voice. But that doesn’t matter, you picked up.

“Where are you? Shit… Are you ok you there? Babe?? Are -” He can’t suppress a growl as he hears you sob. He needs to find you. He needs to see you.

“Please… I need to know you're alright.” Sans’ voice breaks as he closes his eyes, trying to focus on you, that unique ball of light that was YOUR soul. He has to find you.

“S….Sans.”

Was that?

Had you just.

He had longed for your voice, he desperately wanted to hear his name on your tongue, but only when you were ready to speak.

“Sw… sweetheart?” he manages to stammer. Despite his panic, his worry, hearing your voice sends a spark of joy deep in his soul.

“Sa-” A dull thud and a clatter, and just like that, fear and panic seized him once more.

He’s screaming your name into the phone as he desperately searches for you. Reaching through a bond that was just barely starting to form.

You scream.

There, a light spark that he KNOWS is you.

“S-SANS!” You scream his name. Everything is gone, his fear, panic, worry. It all takes a second seat to his rage when he hears the pain and fear in your voice.

The line goes dead, but it doesn’t matter. Sans closes his eye sockets and holds onto everything he knows about you, everything he feels for you. Grips that little spark between the two of you and takes a breath.

Then takes a step through the void.

\---

You curl in on yourself, cradling your hand against your chest. Bits of plastic and glass are sticking into your palm, and your fingers are mangled. You can’t close your hand, so you do what you can to protect it. 

A dark chuckle reminds you that you are not alone, and very much not safe.

“As close as that freaky body guard keeps to you, we sure as hell thought it would be harder to get to you.” A sharp kick hits your ribs before a fist grips your hair, pulling you to your feet.

You take several quick breaths, trying to focus your eyes on the person standing in front of you.

He is short and stocky, built like a tank. He has a greasy sheen to him, like he is unwashed or sweats a lot. He’s sneering around a cigarette as a hand dips into his coat pocket.

He looks vaguely familiar. Maybe you saw him around the bakery? Or outside of Grillby’s? You stop pondering where you saw his face before when the one who is holding you throws you against the railing. 

Fear and a sense of vertigo hits you when you look down. You cling to the railing with your good hand, trying to right yourself as the pair laughs.

“We heard from a little bird that you were a monster fucker. Frankly, kid. We don’t approve.” The tall one - you know him - is slim and has a sharp look to him, though the way he keeps glancing at the fat one you know he isn’t the leader. You’re sure he works with Jerry, or at least hangs in the same crowd.

“You wouldn’t be the first slut we helped take a dive, nice of ya’ to run yourself here. Was a bitch keeping up with you. Kinda feel like making you hurt for that.” A glint of silver draws your eyes back to the fat one. 

A three-inch blade rests in his hand, and you must have reacted because he is laughing again. “Well.. hurt more. Your hand’s fucked to all hell.” 

“Guess there's no point in making it look like a suicide, huh Reggie? Since yeah went and smashed the fuck’s hand up already.” The Tall One’s voice is sharp like his face, and it’s quickly cut off by a grunt of pain as he earns a kick in the shin.

“NO NAMES. How many times I gotta tell ya’, yeah piece of shit.”

You edge to the side while they are distracted, maybe you could run-

“Where you going, sweetcheeks?” 

For a moment you don’t feel it, it’s more of a pressure than anything else. You stumble back, clearly confused. A hot wetness is running down your side and your breath is coming short. Tears in your eyes, you don’t bother looking down. 

The fingers of your good hand meet the hilt of the knife, and you let out a shaky breath.

Oh god.

“Fuck kid, you looked surprised. What were you expecting.” They both have a chuckle, and suddenly you’re falling backwards. You should have told Sans where you were. Should never have left the apartment.

Oh god.

You’re falling back and your eyesight is getting hazy.

Boney arms catch you and pull you tight against a familiar ribcage. 

“Where did that fucker come from!” One of them yells. It doesn’t matter who. 

You’ve felt Sans in a bad mood before, but never like this. His magic pops and boils around you. It swirls with his rage. You can FEEL his power. You can feel what he desperately wants to do to these humans who dare hurt you.

“Look, shithead.” That’s the fat one, you are sure. For all his bravado, you can hear the fear in his voice. “This is as much your fault as theirs. I ain’t afraid ta’ dust ya!”

His voice is cut off by a deep growl that rumbles through you. You want to cling to Sans, but you’re afraid to move your hand. But still, you could…

“S-sans.” It comes out as a sob, but you desperately want to tell him how happy you are that he came for you. How you want to get out of here before he gets hurt, too. How you want him to hold you close and chase away the chill creeping into your arms and legs.

“...as badly as i want to dunk you two, i got a few questions.” Sans’ voice is deep and foreboding. Maybe you should be scared. Judging from the gasp you hear, at least one of them is scared.

“THE FUCK ARE THOSE!” 

You don’t know, you don’t care. You just want to bury your face into Sans’ coat. You feel safe here.

“...why have you been tailing us? Who’s put you up to this?” Sans’ voice practically booms.

“We need a reason to want to dust a monster and kill the slut fucking him? They’re worse than you!” You hear a shuffle and a loud bang. You’re suddenly jolted to the left. 

“What? You thought I was just going to stand there and take it?” A dark chuckle comes from Sans and you crack an eye open. There is a blinding flash of light and one of the men screams. A rush of bones follow it as you hear another scream.

“The fuck! Never seen a monster fight back.” He sounds like he’s in pain, whichever one it is. You shift your gaze, and Sans’ eye is blazing, one of his hands is raised, and with a flick of his wrist, you hear them scream in unison.

You don’t want to look. You can tell from the look on his face that Sans is more than capable of killing these men for what they did.

It should scare you.

This dark look, Sans’ sharp canines clear in his forced grin as he flicks his hand again, calling forth another flash of light -

It should terrify you.

But it doesn’t.

With a deep breath, you shift your hand, biting back a whimper as you release the pressure on your side. 

“S….sans.” Why is your voice so weak? Why does your hand shake so badly as you reached up to touch his face?

The streak of red on your hand left is your answer.

That… probably isn’t good.

But it’s not important right now.

“Sans… not worth it,” you try again louder, fingers tracing over his cheekbones. After a shaky breath, he finally glances down to you. 

For a second, his eye lights go out completely and he looks terrified. 

Another set of bangs… gunshots? You feel your reality shift. It’s almost like teleporting, but not quite.

His focus turns to the men, and with a jerk of his hand a wall of bone separates the pair of you from them.

Your name shakes in his voice as boney fingers hover near your side. You aren't sure why until you glance down. 

Oh right. You’ve been stabbed.

That's probably bad. 

That's probably why your limbs feel so cold, what with the blood loss. “Fuck… fuck. Stay with me. Just. fuck. I’ll get you to Tori.” You feel his arms grip you and you let out a soft whine that might be his name. 

You don’t want to see Toriel right now. You just want Sans to hold you. You feel safe here.

One tug and the vertigo of a teleport later, and you notice it’s warmer, probably inside.

Sans tries to put you down, but you cling to him with your good hand, leaving more streaks of red. “S-Sanssss,” you manage to slur. Things are fuzzy and your body feels numb. You don’t want him to put you down. 

“Sweetheart, I need to get Tori, and Paps… fuck… I hope they can do enough.”

You try his name again, but it falls short. Your vision is going dark and it feels nice, it feels warm. Vaguely, as you start to black out, you’re aware of Sans screaming for Toriel. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, slightly less of a cliff hanger but I'm pretty sure I'm still the devil!
> 
> My question~
> 
> What color do you think reader's soul is? I know the color but I'm curious to see what you guys think it might be!


	23. CHAPTER 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh Snap! Look at this another chapter And it's been less than a week, what is this madness!
> 
> Wow, there is a big rang of what color people think Readers soul is! A handful of you got it right but we still have another chapter or two before I let you know~
> 
> The amazing [Maybeapples](http://archiveofourown.org/users/maybeapples/pseuds/maybeapples) Edited this!  
> I draw NSFW crap and put it on my tumblr~ [Octogator was taken so It's Allipuss.](http://allipuss.tumblr.com/)  
>   
> 

It’s nice here. It’s warm and dark and you feel like you’re floating. Nothing hurts here. Nothing scares you and you feel no pressing needs or worries. 

This is nice.

But it’s so very wrong. 

You don’t belong in this warm dark place - you have your family, people you care for, things you desperately need to do.

You have a feeling that this warm darkness that engulfed you is not as nice and friendly as it feels. As inviting, as insistent as it is that you lay here forever, sink into the abyss, you start to fight it.

It scares you; this once warm and comforting darkness is now oppressive. You struggle and fight. 

Fight to do what, you're not sure. Move? Wake up? Anything. You even try crying out but the void swallows your voice.

You feel skeletal hands grab hold of you.

Not Sans- you know his hands well - his hands are near the size of yours, smooth with sturdy finger bones.

These are large, bigger than Papyrus’, even as they circle your biceps and start to pull.

It… it feels weird and it hurts.

You become aware of a deep pain in your chest and ribs. Shooting pain running up your arm. The blackness fades into white, and as it leaves, it the pain fades.

This white void is familiar. 

This was how the first dream had started, in this empty white space. 

No. 

You don’t want to dream again. You didn’t want to remember again.

You feel like you’re forgetting something.

Something really important.

You need to do something. 

You don’t want to be here right now. You don’t want to relive memories.

You don’t want to be in this empty white cage.

But…

It isn’t empty.

You are here. You’re more aware of yourself this time. Is this lucid dreaming? Or something else entirely? 

You turn, expecting to be faced with more blank endlessness.

Needless to say, you’re surprised to see a tall dark figure standing a comfortable distance away from you.

You expect they? he? was trying give you space so to not scare you. 

It doesn’t quite work. You’re still scared, but you aren't running and screaming from whatever this is.

He - you’re sure it’s a he - is tall, has nearly half a foot on Papyrus, but is much slimmer than the younger skeleton brother.

He’s a skeleton with cracks running from his eye sockets. One socket looks to be stuck in a permanent droop.

His hands are folded politely in front of him as he watches you.

He seems to be waiting. It takes a moment for you to realize he’s waiting for a reaction from you.

You take a step forward, then another. You stay far enough away from this strange skeleton that you don’t have to crane your neck to look at him. 

The longer you look at him, the more you notice an odd buzzing pressure in your head. It almost hurts, but is more annoying.

Is it coming from him?

Before you can ponder it, or even ask him, his hands start to move. Slowly and carefully, he starts to sign.

You don’t quite catch it - you’re too busy staring at the holes in his palms. 

You offer a sheepish smile as an apology, to which he lets out a staticky huff and starts to sign again.

**_*My child, you should not linger here.*_ **

Your confusion must be clear, because he starts to sign again.

**_*You need to wake up.*_ **

After a moment, you bring up your own hands.

***Wake up?***

**_*Yes. You need to leave this place.*_ **

***How do I leave.***

**_*By waking up.*_ **

***Who are you?***

This causes him to pause, but he shakes his head and takes a step forward. You now have to look up to make eye contact. This close, his edges seem fuzzy, almost static or goopy, you can’t decide. 

It’s like he is making an effort to stay visible, or solid.

**_*It does not matter who I am. Wake up child.*_ **

You figure it won’t hurt to try. It’s not like you have any other ideas, and it feels really important to wake up. 

Closing your eyes, you try to will yourself awake.

You feel a pair of large hands on your shoulders and the light tap of a skull against your forehead. A voice, deep and masculine, broken and distorted with static, speaks.. He speaks slowly, and you realize he is speaking in Wing Dings.

**_‘My deepest apologies. Please, be good to my boys.’_ **

Before you can answer, or even open your eyes, you feel a sudden sense of vertigo.

Pain.

Pain is the first thing that you register. It’s not as sharp or overwhelming as the first time, but it is still there. A dull ache in your ribs, a heaviness in your right hand. 

Your eyelids are heavy and your mouth is dry. You manage to pry your eyelids open, and you’re greeted with a room you’ve never seen before.

It’s a level of dirty that has you twitching to clean it: socks, papers, dishes, more socks, and a plethora of dirty clothing assault your eyes. At least there’s a designated walking path that is somewhat clean from the door to the bed.

You use the term bed loosely; judging from the height, you are on a matress on the floor.

You take a deep breath - well, as deep as you could manage, as your lungs and side protest any amount of strain.

You feel something shift and nuzzle into your hand. The one that doesn’t feel like hamburger. It draws your attention away from the room to realize you aren't alone.

Sans.

He looks terrible. You’ve never seen the bags under his eyes so dark. He’s sitting on the floor, upper body stretched out on the mattress so he could be touching you. There are little tracks of blue trailing from his closed sockets, has he been crying?

Your hand shifts to run over one of these dried lines and across his cheekbone. He looks like he stayed up until he passed out. 

You try to roll over, you want to hug him, curl around him, protect him. You made him look like this. You made him hurt like this.

The movement brings a sharp grunt of pain from you and you end up clutching your side and jostling your bandaged hand in the process.

Another pained sound, and Sans’ eye sockets snap open. You have never seen those pretty little sparks that were his eyes so dim. As they meet your eyes, they brighten slightly, and he lets out shaky whisper of your name.

Almost like he doesn’t quite believe it.

You feel like you want to cry. You attempt to sign, only to have him grip your wrist above the bandages and guiding your hand to lay on the bed. 

“you're awake. please don’t let this be a dream. you really woke up?” He sounds so broken and it makes your chest ache, you tug him closer with your good hand, wanting to touch him.

You're so weak you can barely grip his shirt, but he gets the picture, crawling up the bed to sit beside you, helping you to into a slightly more upright position.

“i-i thought i was going to lose you.” His fingers trace your face, touching your lips, tracing your nose, running under your eyes. It’s like he’s making sure you are real.

You don’t mind; it feels nice. You let your fingers run up his arm, ghost over his clavicle to hook under his jaw, and tug him down to you.

You want contact, you want to feel him and reassure the both of you that this is real.

Teeth brush your cheek, peck your nose, gently press against each closed eye and rest on your forehead. With each little contact, he whispers your name. It makes you shiver. Once he stops, it’s your turn.

Your good hand slides up and cups his face, keeping him partially leaned over you and pressing his teeth to you. 

“Sans.” Your voice is raspy and cracked. Speaking feels so foreign to you.

It’s worth it, the way he shudders and breathes your name, finally pressing his teeth to your lips as he holds you against him.

The two of you stay like that for a time, muttering each others names, pressing light touches and kisses against each other just to reassure each other that you’re fine. That you are here and Sans is here.

It gives you time to wake up, assess your pain, remember. 

You cling to Sans, replaying the attack and the dream that started it all. Your thoughts go briefly to a tall man with a distorted voice but the memory seems to shift, slip from your hold. 

You lift your bandaged hand again, trying to assess the damage.

It’s wrapped and splinted so that you can barely move it. It feels heavy and it aches. Sans is watching you, and once you catch his eyes, he sighs and nuzzles into your neck. 

“Tori and Paps did what they could. your hand was… it wasn’t pretty, kid. Paps worked himself to the bone to get it to this state.” He squeezes you gently before pulling away to look at you.

You open your mouth - you want to talk to him, you really do - but you barely get out a dry rasp. You wonder how long you’ve been out. Instead, you bring your good hand to the opposite shoulder and draw a plus sign against it, the question in your eyes.

***Hospital?***

“heh. we tried.” Sans’ hands fist in the sheets and he looks away, his voice bitter with suppressed anger.

“wouldn’t even look at ya. just said they aren't equipped to care for monsters. didn’t believe me when i said you were human, they just rolled their eyes and threatened to call security. w-wouldn’t even look at you long enough to see you were human.” His voice cracks and faint blue tears pool in his sockets. 

Your hand shakes. You feel so tired. You had no idea. 

You brush away what tears you can, and Sans presses his face into your palm. It takes a moment for him to calm down, but when he does, he shifts to stand.

You grab what you can, ending up with a handful of his shirt, trying to tug him back down.

You don’t want to be alone. 

“D-don’t,” you croak out.

Sans is on his knees again, brushing his teeth over your fingers and along your wrist as he tries to sooth you. 

“shhh shh. sweetheart, don’t strain yourself, i’m just getting yeah some water. it’s been… a while, and as much as i adore your voice we need to get some liquids into you, and some food if you think you can manage?”

At the mention of food, you do feel hungry, but also slightly nauseous. You give a nod anyway, you’ll try.

Sans’ grin tilts in a ghost of a real smile before he blips out of the room, returning in less than a minute with a glass of water and a bowl of something. 

He helps you to sit up, muttering apologies at every little whine you make. Your ribs hurt, your sides hurt, and you don’t want to move. But now that you can see it, you really want that glass of water.

It’s like your mouth just got ten times drier at the sight of it. 

You know you need to drink slowly, but Sans still has to remind you to slow down. It feels so good.

When it’s empty, your eyes beg for more, but Sans shakes his head, holding up the bowl of some kind of soup.

“try this first. then i’ll get you more water, babe.” With a sigh, you nod, and he moves to sit next to you, holding the bowl steady and letting you manage the spoon.

It’s good - mild and mostly broth, but good. 

You manage to stomach all of it and it leaves you feeling a lot better. Sans takes the bowl from you and shoves it off the edge of the bed, causing you to snort. He just rolls his eyes and pulls you close so you are leaning back against him.

One of his hands lays flat over your side, brushing over your ribs through the thin fabric. 

You take a moment to really assess yourself. These aren't what you were wearing the night before. Was it the night before? It brings a dark blush to your face when you see the worn screen print of a rib cage on the dark shirt. You’re pretty sure you know whose this is.

You must have frozen up or something, because Sans leans back and gives you some space. “don’t worry, Tori was the one who changed you. she comes by every few hours to check on you. we’ve all been really worried.”

You relax against him again and let out a breath. You can feel him nuzzling into your hair and it feels good just to be held.

“if you could… i understand if you can’t…” His free hand slides down your arm to lace with your functional hand. “i’d like you to tell me what happened. i just… you really rattled my bones, sweetheart.” He lets out a dry laugh at his bad joke. Trying to make light of the situation. 

You take a breath.

Then another.

Not too deep - you can’t properly fill your lungs without a spike of pain.

Biting your lip, you close your eyes, lean back against him and start to speak.

It’s slow - you stutter and stammer, and sometimes you have to pause and really think about how to say something. Sometimes you just need to take a break.

But you tell him everything. From the strange white dream to reliving the memories you worked so hard to suppress to waking up and panicking. 

You tell him about the men, everything you can remember before blacking out. You start to tell him about the odd white place again and the strange man, but as the words reach your lips the memory starts to slip away and the sentence dies in your throat. 

You're done. It's… It's more than you’ve spoken in years. Hell. It's more than you’ve spoken in almost a decade. Your mouth is tired and your body aches. You want to sleep.

But Sans wants you to stay awake, at least until Toriel can come check on you. You turn, resting your head on his shoulder.

It’s not the most comfortable thing, laying against a living skeleton like this. He’s got bumps and ridges, and you squirm around until his floating rib isn’t jabbing into your side. It’s not comfortable. But you’re happy here.

He’s warm.

You feel safe, protected here.

You feel cared for here.

You can’t remember the last time you felt this content. This…

“H-how did you find me?”

Your voice is quiet and hoarse from overuse. But Sans had hung onto your every word. Drank them in like they were the most precious thing he’s ever heard.

“i followed your soul.”

“Soul?”

“yeah. i’m… used to yours.” The hand on your ribs moves to touch your sternum, just below your collarbone. You’re sure you are blushing darkly, but you let him continue.

“i grabbed hold of the little spark i could feel and blindly teleported. stupid, I know. but i… stars. as much as I’ve dreamed about hearing your voice, sweetheart. hearing you scream my name like that. i… god, i think it would have broken me if i was to late.”

He’s shaking now, and you kick yourself for doing this to him. You lay your hand flat against his, pressing it against your chest and taking a long slow breath, holding it, then letting it out. Slowly, he starts to calm down, though his arms are still wrapped around you tightly.

“Whats m-my soul look like?”

You question after he seems to relax. You wanted him to talk, it helps to keep you awake, and, well… you’re curious. Souls, like actual proper souls, are such a new concept. Dismissed as spiritual and religious until monsters came above ground.

“from what i can see… it's the most beautiful thing i’ve ever seen. its… its so bright. it practically shines through your chest when you're feeling a strong emotion. that's why…” He pauses, his hand fisting in your shirt before relaxing.

“it's one of the reasons why i could feel you from so far away. your soul was calling for help and i could see it.”

“Could you show it to me?” You tilt your head enough to see his face, and you catch a glimpse of dark blue cheekbones before he hides them against your shoulder. He mutters something you can’t quite make out before he manages to compose himself.

“Not right now. You're still recovering. Healing. When you’re better, I’ll show you.”


	24. CHAPTER 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not dead! I'm super super sorry this chapter took so long. 
> 
> Lifes been a bit crazy of late and I have no internet at my house. This chapter is brought to you by a coffee chains free internet. 
> 
> This chapter is also brought to you by the amazing [Maybeapples](http://archiveofourown.org/users/maybeapples/pseuds/maybeapples)  
> I draw NSFW crap and put it on my tumblr, but I've been kinda dead there to,[Octogator was taken so It's Allipuss.](http://allipuss.tumblr.com/)  
>   
> 

You try to stay up to see Toriel. You really do. But laying next to Sans, you can’t help but drift off. He just has a relaxed comfortable aura around him that lulls you to sleep. You just feel so safe feeling the gentle press of his ribcage at your back and the press of teeth against the back of your neck.

You're pretty sure he is already asleep, judging from the evenness of his breathing, so you relax and let your eyes drift shut and enjoy it.

Really, you only intend to rest your eyes, but you wake up what must be a few hours later to feel a touch on your shoulder, and you roll over into the empty spot beside you.

Blinking a few times, you look up into a soft fuzzy white face.

Kind sweet Toriel shouldn’t look this sad. It doesn't hurt as much as seeing the tear tracks run down Sans’ face, but it still hurts. 

You must have made some sleepy sound as you tried to shake the sleep from your useful hand.

“No need to get up for me, my child. You should rest. You gave us all quite the scare.” She smiles, pressing your hand against your chest and patting your shoulder. 

“It was good to see Sans properly sleeping as well for once. He’s rarely left your side.” She sighs with a shake of her head before pressing one of her big paws over your ribs, and it’s not long until you feel the warm fizzle of her magic sink into you.

Your fingers stumble over Sans’ name, and she gives you a chuckle.

“You’ve got that lazybones in such a tizzy that he’s baking.” She chuckles, moving to your hand as soon as the ache from your ribs subsides.

***Baking?***

You bastardize the sign one handed, but Toriel seems to understand from the context. With a chuckle, she nods. “Yes, he will likely dote on you for the near future. You’ll have to put your foot down if you want him to stop. Though…” She pauses as she carefully uses a claw to slice through the bandages.

“You should let him, at least until you feel better. It will help him recover from nearly losing you.” Her eyes are on your hand as she carefully unwraps it, so she doesn’t see the downward tilt of your lips. At the reminder of how much you’ve hurt Sans.

You’ll have to be better. 

You’ll have to be more careful. 

Gods, they both keep talking like you nearly died. A faint memory of a dark place and a broken voice crosses your mind before you hear Toriel calling your name.

“You should be able to go without the splint in a few days! The bone is still very brittle, and this hand may always be a bit stiff, but - well. It's much better, I promise!” She seems generally excited by the state of your hand.

The palm and fingers are covered in little red lines, the biggest being a long slash across your palm. You flex it experimentally and it twinges in pain.

You can’t quite close or extend your hand, but you can still move it.

You’re hopeful. 

***How long?***

You question Toriel as she starts to rewrap your hand in fresh bandages. 

“... Two and a half days… We all feared the worst when Sans teleported you straight into my living room,” she answers softly.

You want to ask more, but she sushes you and tucks you in. “Rest, dear, once your friends hear you’re awake you will have quite the chain of visitors.” She chuckles and you feel more of her magical warmth sink into you.

You hum and let your eyes drift shut. You do still feel quite tired.

Toriel isn’t wrong. 

It only feels like ten minutes, but is likely longer when you wake up to Sans finger combing your hair. 

“hey sweetheart, how do you feel?” He hums, pressing a kiss to your forehead. You wrap your arm around him and let him pull you into a sitting position as he leans back with a chuckle.

“Better.” You sigh, tucking your face into the collar of his hoodie. He certainly smells like he has been baking. 

He hums and strokes your back, happy just to hold you. “heh, guess I’m not the only lazybones anymore.” He chuckles, leaning his chin against the top of your head.

“Tori let out that you were up and about, so I’m pretty sure everyone is headed over.” He grumbles, his arms tightening around you for a moment before letting go, and leans back. You whine, fingers snagging his clothing and trying to tug him back.

At least that brings a real chuckle out of him, and it sends a small spike of warmth through you. 

“if you're not feeling up for it, I’m more than happy to run them off.” Sans grins at you while cupping your face.

Gods, it’s tempting. A part of you, a large part, wants to stay curled up here in his messy room. Safe and tucked away from the outside world. 

But if your friends were even half as worried as Sans has been, you owe it to them to see them.

“S-should see them.” You mutter, shifting to let your legs drop over the edge of the bed. Sans is quick to stand and hover over you. From the calculating look he is giving you, it really isn’t a surprise when his bony arms loop under your back and legs to pick you up.

It does surprise you when he manages it with little effort. 

Your surprise must be clear on your face, as he heads towards the door, a aura of blue gripping the handle before it swings open. “ya’ already fell for me so didn’t think we should risk a  _ falling _ again. it's only a short  _ trip _ to the couch, after all.”

You giggle your quiet laugh and Sans seems to relax, holding you closer. 

By the time Undyne kicks open the door, Papyrus and Alphys at her heels, Sans has made you comfortable on the couch. 

Probably more so than you need to be - you have several pillows tucked around you and a warm snuggly blanket that you're pretty sure he stole from Papyrus. You’re even munching on a warm cookie as he busies about making you tea.

Apparently, the oddity of Sans actually being busy isn’t lost on everyone, because Undyne’s battle cry of “PUNK!” ias cut short as they catch sight of the short skeleton leaving the kitchen, your favorite mug in hand.

“UNDYNE! I KNOW YOU'RE EXCITED TO SEE OUR HUMAN FRIEND BUT COULD YOU MAYBE STEP INTO THE APARTMENT?” Papyrus calls out from the hall. 

This seems to shake Undyne out of her stupor as she stomps over to stand in front of you. Her single yellow eye narrowing. “What the hell, punk! Who told you that you could go out pick fights?! You can’t just go wandering around at night without some way of protecting yourself!

“UNDYNE!”

“U-u-undyne!”

“Buddy.”

Undyne ignores the scolding, worry and warning respectively, and grabs your good hand, crushing the remains of your cookie in your hand.

You’re too busy trying not to panic to mourn the loss. Undyne is angry. You might be used to how loud she and Paps can be, but anger still scares you. She doesn’t seem to notice the way you pull back, pressing into the couch cushions. 

“You could have been dusted by those fuck-” 

There is a dull thud, and suddenly Sans is in front of you and your hand is free.

“WHAT THE FUCK, SANS!”

“LANGUAGE, UNDYNE!” 

“I don’t  _ trout _ that you're upset.”

“SANS!”

“but there is no need to be a  _ bass _ about it.”

“LANGUAGE, SANS!...Wait.”  Papyrus lets out a frustrated groan as he realizes the second pun and retreats to the kitchen.

“NYAGH!” You see a flash of teal and as you lean around Sans your eyes land on Undyne standing with a rather wicked-looking spear of magic.

It’s honestly fairly scary.

The room feels colder and Sans’ stance shifts to be more defensive, keeping you at his back.

“U-undyne! N-not in the house!” Alphys’ worried voice seems to calm Undyne down, at least slightly. She takes several slow breaths and once the spear dissipates, you duck your head back behind Sans, reaching out to grab his coat. 

He makes a sound deep in his throat, almost like a growl, but reassuring. You take a deep breath and tug Sans towards you.

“Fu- Sorry.” You hear Undyne growl before stomping off towards the kitchen. 

It’s a moment after she leaves the room that you can feel everyone relax. The chill leaves and Sans turns to face you, snatching up your good hand, glowing blue eye scanning it for injury. Once he seems satisfied, he brushes the crumbs from your palm and places a toothy kiss against it.

He lets his sockets close as he just sits there and breathes, your own breath matching his out of habit as his magic fades.

You bring up your bandaged hand and rest it on his shoulder while your thumb traces his teeth.

You are ok.

He is ok.

Your friends are loud but they wouldn’t hurt you.

Sans is here with you. You’re fine.

One of his eye sockets cracks open, and as that white pinprick meets your eyes, you can’t help but blush at the look in his eyes.

It's filled with so much caring and… something you can’t quite place. His grin widens as he nuzzles your hand and you can’t help but mirror those emotions.

A high-pitched squeal slowly builds in volume and pulls you out of the little moment, but not before you hear the click of a camera shutter.

Turning, you see Alphys holding up her phone. The tiny yellow dino’s face is slightly pink, and she lets out a nervous giggle when both of your focuses turn to her.

The rest of the visit goes without incident. Papyrus picks you up and gives you a hug before sinking more magic into your brittle healing bones. 

Alphys presents you with a new phone that she tells you is practically indestructible. It certainly feels like it from how heavy it is.

Undyne.

Though she shoots a few sheepish looks at Sans, she finally announces that you are going to start training once you’re better. You shoot Sans a confused look before she and Papyrus go off explaining how they are going to teach you self-defense and how to fight and protect yourself.

You aren't terribly thrilled about that. You’re not a fighter - you’ve never been much for confrontation unless you were backed into a corner. Only if you had to, and even then, you would rather take a punch than put someone else in danger.

You were Jerry’s personal punching bag for years for that very reason.

Sans’ arm presses you against his side reassuringly. Maybe… maybe it wouldn’t hurt to learn a little.

It’s another week before you feel comfortable using your hand, can shift and bend without pain. Sans is still hovering around you and doting on you. During all this, you find out that he is quite the gifted baker when he wants to be. You’re showered in magic-infused cookies and cake, several varieties of quiche, and a shepherd's pie with tomato-based gravy.

Papyrus is torn between being being ecstatic that his brother is doing something and being distraught over his beloved kitchen being taken over.

However, your bonefriend does have to take breaks from spoiling you. He has to work after all, and during these times he usually leaves Papyrus or Toriel to watch you.

You aren't sure what they’re supposed to watch you do. You don’t do much. Muffet has given you strict instructions to focus on healing - apparently she’s training two new employees, so it looks like you’ll have company when you finally go back to work.

You are currently sitting criss-crossed on the couch, laptop propped up on your knees, and looking through houses with Papyrus. You know that something is eating at your lanky friend, and that scrolling through these two-story houses near the university district is just a distraction for him.

You have made several attempts to get it out of him. But Papyrus is surprisingly good at avoiding a topic if he doesn’t want to talk about it. Hence why the pair of you are looking at houses.

“I DO LIKE THE KITCHEN IN THIS ONE, BUT THE YARD LOOKS FAIRLY SMALL FROM THE MAP VIEW.” He lets out a thoughtful “Nyeh” as he scrolls through the pictures again. The price is a little on the high end as far as you’re concerned, but Papyrus doesn’t seem to mind.

***Maybe go look at it? Might be bigger than it looks.***

You offer with slower than normal signs. He hums and nods. “I WILL ADD IT TO THE LIST.”

So far, almost every house you’ve looked at has been added to the list. 

Another few minutes of searching, and Papyrus starts to shift and squirm. You don’t blame him - he’s a very active skeleton and sitting still during these long periods of time with you is hard on him. 

This is actually a record, he normally is up and cleaning or cooking by now.

His eyes keep darting to the television, a faint dusting of orange across his cheeks. Looking up from your computer, you see why.

It’s Mettaton. Some daytime TV interview talking about his upcoming worldwide tour.

He is in the process of explaining his plans for the next two years, and how excited he is to meet all of his beautiful fans across the world.

Glancing back to Papyrus, you swear you catch a flash of sadness in his eye sockets.

***Pap?***

He’s not looking at you, or he’s pretending he doesn’t see. Frowning, you watch him a moment and take a breath. So far, you’ve only used your voice with Sans… but Paps, Paps is that goofy big brother that you never realized you needed in your life.

You can talk to Papyrus.

Maybe.

A few false starts have him looking at you before you finally manage his name.

“Paps?”

Well, part of his name.

If his mood has been melancholy before, this is the exact opposite. A look of wonder crosses his face and you only just manage to shove your laptop onto the coffee table before two boney arms wrap around you.

“HUMAN! I- I’M SO HAPPY!” He nuzzles his teeth against the top of your head and gives an exaggerated “Mwah” sound. You can’t help but giggle softly, tilting your head up to look at him. Orange tears are gathering in the corner of his eye sockets, but he is letting out a course of happy ‘Nyeh heh hehs.’ You can’t get over how happy people get at hearing your voice. Every time you speak to Sans, his eyes sparkle like it's the first time. 

You wonder if Papyrus will react in hugs and happy tears every time you speak. It takes him a moment to calm down but he doesn’t let you go - instead, the two of you shift to watch the rest of the interview as you lean your back against Papyrus.

The idea of platonic cuddling never crossed your mind until you met these monsters. 

You give him another few moments, your fingers toying with the leather of his gloves. 

“Pap-yrus. You were sad.” You manage to work out. Not a question, but a statement. From the way his hold tightens around you and the way he lets out a breath, you know you were right.

“Nyoh hoh hoh… Was it that obvious, human?” You simply shift so you can look up at him, though he seems intent on not making eye contact.

“Well… Metta has been very busy… and he is leaving next week.” Papyrus pauses, finally letting you go so you can sit up and face him properly.

***You miss him already.***

You shift back to signing, still not fully comfortable with speaking.

“Well, Yes! I miss him every moment I am not with him, he… He makes my soul so happy! At first I… I admit I was starstruck and saw him as the TV personality. But I’ve gotten to know him! The Real Mettaton! And, well. I didn’t think I could love him more than I already did!”

“He’s just. Stars, I can’t stand the thought of being away from him for so long. He’s been working so hard to get everything ready and spend as much time with me as he can, and well…”

He pauses, fidgeting with his hands.

“Metta… Wants me to come with him. Wants to go public with our relationship.” His voice is so quiet and unsure, so un-Papyrus, that it startles you.

“DON’T GET ME WRONG, HUMAN FRIEND, THERE IS NOTHING I WANT MORE THAN TO SHOUT MY LOVE FOR HIM TO THE WORLD. IF I WENT ON THIS TRIP WITH HIM, I’M SURE I WOULD HAVE A GREAT TIME! BEING ABLE TO SEE THE WORLD BESIDE HIM. GETTING TO BE THERE FOR HIM AFTER EVERY SHOW! SUPPORTING HIM TO MY FULLEST POTENTIAL.”

Papyrus pauses to take a breath, his face falling as he loses some of his bravado.

“But, well… I’ve never been apart from Sans for that long. I’ve had… dreams that I never seem to really remember. But, I know that he’s not there and it's…Not good.”

He seems to stop, and he looks so lost you have to touch him in some way. Your hands find his and give them a little squeeze. 

“Papyrus. It’s ok to be scared.” You take a moment to think about what to say before you finally take a breath. 

“It's your choice. Do what you think is best for you.”

You’re both quiet for a long moment while Papyrus seems to be lost in thought.

“Sans wouldn’t like it…”

***Sans loves you, he’ll understand.***

“I would miss everyone so much.”

***We would miss you too, but we would understand.***

“I… I supose...”

***Metta would understand, too.***

This gets a dark orange flush from him.

“I know, human. Nyah… I… I think I know what I will do.” He gives a determined nod before turning to face you. “Could you… not tell Sans about this until I speak with him? I know he doesn't fully approve of my relationship with Metta, he may not take it well.”

“I promise.” You respond easily. He brightens at your voice and pulls you into a tight hug. 

“THANK YOU HUMAN!” He proclaims, loud enough to make your ears ring. 

The rest the afternoon is far more pleasant. More house hunting, cleaning and laundry with the cooking channel blazing in the background. 

Papyrus has just returned from the laundry room and you’re folding clothing while he scans through your list of ‘maybes’ when your phone lets out a notification buzz.

You have a new email.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really want to write a Papyrus fic. The tol skelly doesn't get nearly as much love as the smol skelly.


	25. CHAPTER 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not dead! I'm just a terrible person. I've been pretty dead online but I'm trying to do better about balancing online stuff with irl stuff~
> 
> This chapter is also brought to you by the amazing [Maybeapples](http://archiveofourown.org/users/maybeapples/pseuds/maybeapples)  
> I draw NSFW crap and put it on my tumblr, but I've been kinda dead there to,[Octogator was taken so It's Allipuss.](http://allipuss.tumblr.com/)  
> 

It seems like the Professor finally got around to responding to your email. You’ve nearly forgotten you sent it with all the things that have been happening in your life. 

But no, you had sent it, and he’s finally replied.

A normal person would have opened the email already. But here you are, worrying about if he remembers you, where he stands on monsters, if he’s willing to work with you. All questions that will likely be easily answered if you would open the email. 

But you don’t look at it, you sit there and stare at your inbox long enough to worry Papyrus.

Just do it, you’re an adult, it's only an email, it can’t hurt you. 

Taking a breath, you finally click it open and start to read.

_ How could I forget one of my best and brightest students to ever disappear off the face of the earth? I’m overjoyed to hear from you again and would be more than happy to schedule a meeting to figure out where you stand in regards to your degree.  _

_ I would also like to meet with this mentioned monster ‘Sans’. We have had several monsters come to us to get their degrees accredited. We’ll even be accepting several monsters onto our staff next semester.  _

_ I am free Monday and Wednesday next week during office hours, so feel free to drop in. _

_ Sincerely,  _

_ Professor Clark Parnell. _

You are… pleasantly surprised. You can feel the stupid grin crossing your face, and you can’t help but let go of the rest of your nerves.

This is good. You can’t wait to tell Sans when he gets home! You cling to the little scrap of good news like a lifeline. 

You guys deserve something good after the shit you’ve been through lately.

The thought startles you.

It came so naturally, but it’s been so long since you’ve let yourself think something along those lines. That you deserve to have good things, deserve to be happy.

It feels… good.

Sans has mixed feelings about the email. You can tell he’s excited, he’s grinning wider than normal, he’s letting you putz around his room and clean while he reads about your university. 

But you know he doesn't trust it. 

He’s reading anything he can find on Parnell.

The blurb on the university website, the top ten articles that show up when he googles him, the reviews of his books, student reviews of his classes. Sans probably knows the man better than you do now.

He’s gone on to snooping about the other teachers in the science department. By the time you’ve fished out all of his laundry for the next load and rescued nearly a full dish rack of dishes he’s calmed down enough to look at the classes being offered next semester. 

You’re met by a wide grin that's nearly mischievous, and he waves you over as soon as you step into his room. 

“babe, babe! next semester they got this magitech class, integrating magic and robotics. guess who’s teaching it!” 

“Alphys?”

“ _ doctor _ Alphys. looks like they’re letting her teach while finishing up her degrees.”

You grin and sneak up behind him in a hug, before slipping your arms in front of him to sign.

***Wonder why she hasn’t told us yet?***

“she’s probably psyched herself out about it, she’ll get around to it.” He gives a little shrug before spinning in his chair to wrap his arms around your hips. It’s a fairly awkward chair hug, but you enjoy the heck out of it, snuggling him.

“so... you're going back to work next week…” He mutters into your shoulder.

“Yeah.”

“any chance i can talk you out of it?” He gives a nervous chuckle, squeezes you just a bit tighter.

“Sans… I miss it.” It’s not just work, and by the way he nuzzles against you, one hand raising to press against your previously broken ribs, you know he understands that.

You miss going outside, walking, hanging out with your friends. You miss your late night walks to help you calm down at night. 

You miss not being afraid. 

And now you are.

You’ve been afraid of Jerry for so long, now you’re afraid of Deb, afraid of the men who attacked you and whoever else might be out there. Afraid that you might loose the kids, afraid of being alone.

It isn’t fair.

“ok. but uh… i want you to start the self defense stuff Undyne and Paps were talking about. i was talking to Tori and i think… it might be good for both of us.” He pulls back, looking up at you, the worry clear in his sockets.

“Ok.” You smile and press a kiss to his forehead. Maybe it would help both of you to regain some of your normalcy. 

So you find yourself in the park near Trent and Ash’s foster home. Papyrus and Undyne are in the midst of some strange flexing and yelling ritual while you give your siblings a very brief explanation of what happened to you. 

The majority of the foster kids are playing in the park today, excluding some of the older ones. As much as it hurts to be apart from them, it makes you happy to see that they’re getting along well with the other kids now.

“PUNK!”

Well, it seems like you’ve been caught stalling. 

Your eyes find Sans’ sockets and you give him your best pleading look. He makes no effort to hide his snickers. You roll your eyes and half-jog up towards Undyne and Papyrus. It does feel good to be outside, and some exercise will do you good.

With so many people and monsters around you, you feel safe.

You aren't sure what you were expecting when it came to ‘self defense’ training.

Maybe dodging magic? Or some kind of training that would only really be useful if you were fighting a monster? But no, it’s… fairly normal.

They have you run laps, do push ups and crunches to warm up, and then you found yourself nose to nose with Undyne.

Well, nose to ribs, considering the height difference, and the fact that she lacks a true nose. “So, I talked to one of the other trainers at my gym, she does self defence for women and junk like that.”

***You work at a gym now?***

“Yeah, nerd! For like a week now, don’t interrupt!”

“UNDYNE HELPS PEOPLE GET SWOLE!” You aren't sure if it’s the absurdity of Papyrus flexing muscles he doesn't have in his Jog-boy crop top or the fact you just heard the word ‘swole’ come out of his mouth.

There is a beat before the dam breaks. It starts with Undyne’s cackle, and soon your quiet giggle joins in with Sans’ deep chuckle. A few of the kids within range join in and practically swarm the tall skeleton. 

“NYEH HEH HEH! SO YOU HAVE GANGED UP UP THE GREAT PAPYRUS, HAVE YOU, TINY HUMANS?! WELL THEN, I WILL JUST HAVE TO CAPTURE YOU ALL!” He lunges and catches a squealing Ash around their middle while the rest scatter as Papyrus gives chase.

It takes you a minute to calm down and turn back to face Undyne. She shakes her head and lets out a laugh of her own. “Anyway, self defence. So, I can tell you're not a fighter in a traditional sense.” She pokes you in the chest before continuing. “So I figured we would focus on some hold breaks and little things that can help you get away. You're also going to start jogging with Paps, work on your speed and stamina.”

You give her a nod of understanding before she continues.

“Alright, so this one’s pretty basic…”

The next hour is spent with Undyne grabbing you in different ways and showing you exactly how to twist, squirm or jab to get away. Papyrus has returned with all the children to watch. In fact, you’re pretty sure there are a few extra in the herd.

You’re glad they seem to enjoy watching you try to throw and break the hold of the fish woman with a grip of steel. 

You feel about ready to collapse by the time it’s over. You would have felt a little better if Undyne looked like she had broken a sweat at all. But no, as you hobble over to the safety of Sans, she turns to your audience. 

“ALRIGHT LITTLE PUNKS! LET'S SEE WHO CAN DO THE MOST JUMPING JACKS!”

As you catch your breath, you watch Papyrus and Undyne rearrange the children and start running them through exercises. 

“looks like we got three extra.” There is a worried tone to Sans’ voice as he glances around the park. You mimic him, looking for any potential adults or older siblings that looked like they were trying to find someone.

Nobody in your immediate line of sight. 

Standing, you try to suppress the groan - you’re starting to get a bit sore from all your exercise. Taking Sans’ hand, you tug him along with you as you head over to the park bench the Foster parents are sharing. The woman, Marge, is knitting and her husband, George, is reading a paper.

Marge situates her knitting before glancing up at you. 

Making sure Sans’ can see your hands, you start to sign. 

***Looks like the kids are multiplying. Do you know them?***

She takes a moment as Sans translates, squinting at the kids who were now broken into pairs and doing crunches. “‘Fraid not, I recognize them from the neighborhood but not sure whose they are. Pretty sure they are siblings, or at least live near each other.”

“suppose we should find their parents. let's divide and conquer.” Sans arches a brow and it takes you a moment to catch the pun. A quiet laugh, and you turn to face the herd, waiting until Papyrus or Undyne notice you.

It only takes Papyrus a second to glance up and as soon as he does you start to sign, making sure to be clear and exaggerate the movements to make up for the distance.

***We are going to go find the extra kids’ parents. Keep an eye on them?***

You receive a double thumbs up and and an audible wink in response before he turns his attention back to the kids. 

That done, you split up.

Well, more like George and Marge go one direction and you and Sans go another.

Your confidence may be slightly bolstered by the public place and your ego-boosting training session, but you’re far from ready to wander around a park alone. It’s not long until you find a fairly frantic looking and irate suburban mom who seemed to be looking for something.

Judging from her beige khakis and light pink polo, it’s either her children or a small dog. You point her out to Sans and he gives a little nod. You’re up to jogging up to her, but with a familiar tug you are suddenly a few feet behind her.

“looks like you lost something, lady?” Sans’ low voice hums out, making the woman jump.

As she jumps and squeals, you see Sans’ grin widen and you squint at him, giving him a knowing look. You KNEW he did that just to startle people.

This is your first time on the side of the startle’er rather than the startle’e.

“Lord! Don’t sneak up on someone like that. My kids ran-” The rest of what she was about to say is cut off in another shreak... as her eyes fall on Sans.

You don’t need to look to know that Sans has stiffened beside you. You hold up one of your hands in a placating manner, while the other goes to rub reassuring circles against Sans shoulder.

***Do you know sign?***

Her screaming fades to disgust and slight confusion as she glances at your moving hands.

“What?” Well then, worth a shot. You give a little shrug and return to Sans side now that the screaming has stopped.

“look lady, i can see  _ youth  _ got a problem with me. i’d be  _ kidd _ ing if didn’t admit the feeling was mutual. but it’s a- _ parent  _ that you’re looking for your kids and a few extra joined our group.” The lady don’t seem to catch any of the puns he’s being less than subtle about.

Not that Sans is ever subtle with a puns.

“My children know better than to associate with  _ your  _ kind!” She practically hisses.

A quick glance tells you that Sans eyelights are nearly out. You give Sans’ shoulder another reassuring pat before you start digging in your coat pocket for your notepad. 

“i don’t really have the  _ stomach _ for bigotry. so  _ tibia _ honest,could you just tone it down? we’re just trying to find these kids’ caretaker.”

You scribble a quick note before ripping it off and handing it to her.

Well… trying to. She looks down at your hand with even more disgust than she has leveled at Sans.

“I’m not touching you! You're disgusting and a disgrace for touching that beast!”  You freeze, confused for a moment before your glare begins matching Sans’. You pointedly hook an arm through Sans’ and you just KNOW that he has the biggest shit eating grin across his skull as he leans his head against your shoulder.

You shake the note at her one more time, but she's gotten a bit green at your display, so you let it fall at her feet. In a fluid motion, you turn away and Sans matches your step.

One, two, three steps, then there’s a familiar tug and you’re back in front of the bench you and Sans have been sharing. The children are sprawled across the grass in mild exhaustion, listening to Papyrus give a dramatic retelling of how he and Undyne first met.

You turn and press your lips to the side of Sans skull, pleased with the shade of blue he has started to turn.

“that’s... mild, compared to what some people will say, will do.” He grumbles, so you press another kiss in the place right above where his jaw fuses with his skull, causing his grumbling to turn into a pleased hum. 

You lace your fingers with his and let out a breath. Sans tugs you against his side, looping his free arm around your waist as yours finds its place across his shoulders. You give him a tight squeeze before pulling away to use your hands.

“Sans.” You have a lot to say and you really didn’t think you can vocalize it all. You angle your back so that it blocks your signing from the others in an attempt to have some privacy.

***People like that will always find something to hate. Before monsters, people hated other humans for being different from what they see as the norm. I’m not going to let their opinion dictate who I care about.***

You step forward and pull Sans back into a hug, pressing your face into his shoulder. “I care about you, Sans, a handful of people telling me it’s wrong is not going to change that.” You take a deep breath. His jacket’s probably leaning a bit heavily towards ketchup rather than old books and the slight musky smell that is Sans.

You can’t hold back a light giggle. It’s going to be hell getting him out of the jacket long enough to wash it.

Sans is quiet as you speak, simply holding you tightly and pressing toothy kisses to your neck. 

“i don’t deserve someone as sweet as you.” Sans punctuates the sentence with a slight nip just under your ear that causes you to shiver. Oh, that is cheating.

You let your lips find the equivalent place, just where his spine joins his skull, and retaliate without mercy as you gently let your teeth scrape across bone, pulling a shiver and groan from him. “Yes you do, you deserve all the good things.” 

You pull back enough so he can see your pout, and maybe try and catch him with his mouth open. 

No luck, but you will happily accept your very blue consolation prize. You press another kiss to a deep blue cheek that's just buzzing with magic. 

You would have likely continued, but a loud wolf whistle and a chorus of heckles remind you that there’s an audience.

You turn to see Papyrus and Undyne cheering and laughing, respectively, while the herd of children are a mix of dramatic gagging and giggling.

Most of them are still in the ‘kissing is gross’ age range so it’s understandable.

With a deep breath, you tug Sans with you towards the horde. You have to separate when Ash comes barreling forward and you lean down to sweep them up.

They’re getting bigger - they’ve grown an inch since December and put on enough weight for you to notice. It won’t be long until you wouldn’t be able to pick them up like this. 

“Sib! Kissing is soooooo gross!” They pout at you. You arch an eyebrow at them in what’s clearly a challenge.

“No! Don’t!” 

Too late! You pepper several loud wet-sounding kisses over Ash’s forehead and cheeks. They push and swat at you, but there is no real force behind it. “Release me!” They squeal, and you set them back down. Your eyes find Trent and you offer them a mischievous grin. 

Trent visibly pales and makes a run for it.

Your soreness and exhaustion are temporarily forgotten as you chase after them - you have a sibling in dire need of gross wet smooches.

As you run after them, you hear Sans’ deep chuckle join in with Papyrus’ laugh and Undyne’s cackle. 

By the time you return, with a lighter mood and a pouting sibling with ruffled hair, the jovial mood has turned a lot more tense. 

“Sib, is that the police?” Your eyes widen slightly as you pick up the pace, jogging so that Trent could keep up.

“look, i  _ donut  _ know what the lady told you, but we didn’t steal her kids.” You resist the urge to roll your eyes as you come up to the group. Papyrus seems to be physically restraining Undyne, who looks livid. The foster kids are behind the two larger monsters while the three in question are beside Sans, who is talking to the police.

The woman stands behind them, glaring daggers at the children and the monsters.

You join Sans, and you can feel Trent and Ash coming up beside you. 

***What’s wrong?***

“the lady says we kidnaped her kids and tried to ransom them.” Sans replies, briefly glancing over to your hands. To most he looks relaxed, but you can see the tension in him.

One of the officers, a middle aged man on the shorter side with greying red hair, clears his throat to call your attention. 

“I take it you are friends with these monsters….” He lets the question hang while Sans gives the officer your name. You start to sign along, but one glance at the look of confusion on the officer's face tells you that he hasn’t a clue you’re spelling out your name.

You flash an apologetic smile before angling to face Sans and making a few quick signs.

“they got a notepad and a pen in their front pocket, if you’d prefer they write.” Sans takes some liberties with your wording, but it's not like ASL is word for word when it comes to phrasing.

“Yes, that would be appreciated.” As you pull out your notebook ,the officer starts to brief you on the situation.

“Mrs. Morris here claims that her children disappeared hours ago, at which point she became frantic and searched the park. Then less than an hour ago, this monster,” he points at Sans, who gives a little shrug, “and human approached her, attempted to assault her and taunt her with the fact that you stole her children, before casting a display of threatening magic. I’d like for you to write down your side of the story.” He sounds exasperated and tired, but not particularly threatening. From what you can tell, he seems fairly neutral.

You give him a nod and start to write.

_ ‘We were here with our friends, my siblings and the other foster children in their home, playing and exercising. Papyrus, the tall skeleton, went for a run with the kids and we realized a few extra joined the herd. We assumed that they were friends with someone in our group and that their parents would show up looking for them. After a while George, Marge, Sans and I decided to go look for the parents. We found Mrs. Morris who seemed to be looking for her children and approached her. She insisted her children would never approach monsters. I wrote her a note explaining the situation and describing the three children and where we were but she refused to take it because of my relationship with Sans. At which point Sans-’  _

You pause your writing to glance at Sans, and he gives you the barest of nods. 

_ ‘Sans used his magic to teleport us back here. We were just waiting for George and Marge to come back before we decided what to do next.’ _

The Officer reads it over, glancing up once to look at the two of you. You can tell he has a question he desperately wants to ask, but his professionalism won’t let him. With a little shrug he finishes the rest of your note. 

“Teleporting, huh? Well, I’ve seen stranger things since ya’ll came above ground. Your story matches up with Mr. Sans and Mr. Papyrus, as well as Ms. Undyne. Frank, if you could go write up Mrs. Morris? I believe this is the third time this week she’s called in the police over a similar matter.”

Mrs. Morris lets out a disgusted shriek as Officer Frank leads her away. “YOU'RE GOING TO SIDE WITH THESE FREAKS OVER YOUR OWN KIND?! HOW DARE YOU! I’LL HAVE YOUR BADGE NUMBERS FOR THIS! MY HUSBAND IS FRIENDS WITH THE COMMISSIONER!”

She’s cut off by something Officer Frank says as he leads her and her three children towards the squad car. 

The kids at least shoot your group a few apologetic glances.

“sorry if we caused yeah any trouble, officer.” Sans gives a little shrug. He seems much more relaxed now that nobody seemes to be in any real trouble.

“Mrs. Morris is more bark than bite. Yesterday she called us in because her kids bought Nice cream and she was convinced they were poisoned.” He gives an apologetic shake of his head. “The Commissioner isn’t going to fire me for being fair and doing my job. Hell, we just hired a whole pack of Monster dogs in our precinct. Some of the best Officers I’ve ever met.”

Undyne lets out a cackle as she and Papyrus join you. “Those mutts better be! I trained em!”

The Officer (Harold Jackson, you learn) really hits it off with Undyne. It’s nice to see him brighten as they trade old and new stories about the dog guard. You can’t help but grin as you lean against Sans.

You let out a sigh, looping your arm in his, glancing over to him with a bright smile.

Sure, some people suck, but not everyone is bad.


	26. CHAPTER 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What is this nonsense! Its been less then a month and I've made another chapter. Its almost like I'm becomeing responsable.
> 
> Oh crap, here's another responsable adult thing: I'm going to be moving across the countery in less then a month so I might not get another chapter out unitl after I settle on the other side of the countery. 
> 
> My Broski Indigo edited this for me.
> 
> I draw NSFW crap and put it on my tumblr, but I've been kinda dead there to,[Octogator was taken so It's Allipuss.](http://allipuss.tumblr.com/)  
> 

Your first day back at Muffets was hectic to say the least. Business was booming. It's been busy enough in the little spider bakery that the spider monster hired three new employees.

A pair of monsters named Bratty and Catty, who usually worked the morning shift, were quite the eccentric pair. Their sense of humor and banter played well off each other and seemed to keep the customers entertained. The third was a human boy named Tony, a neighborhood kid who was just finishing up highschool. He was quiet but friendly, and he made the best cup of coffee out of the five of you.

The way Muffet went on about how it took all three of them to fill the void you left with your sudden leave, and now that you were back someone with your intelligence was better put to use keeping and ordering inventory while Muffet baked and at least one of the other three ran the front.

You suppose it made sense to you. Out of everyone in the bakery, you were the fastest at doing this simple math. Even if you didn’t mind working the front it was easier for everyone if you worked in the back.

It wasn’t until the end of your second shift, the day before you were going to meet your professor, that you realized what the woman was doing. In all but title she has made you into an assistant manager by giving you different responsibilities so that you are rarely in the front unless someone was on break. Even when you were done with inventory, the paychecks, and the order forms, more often than not she would call you into the kitchen to lend a hand.

She was protecting you. Just like everyone else. You were grateful, really. But you wish she didn’t have to. You wish none of them had to protect you. You didn’t understand why everyone had to be so against anything slightly outside of what they considered the norm.

You… You couldn’t understand how anyone could hate another so much they would stalk them, waiting for the opportunity to attack.

Then again, you never really understood why Jerry felt the need to beat you almost daily either.

Why can’t you live without the fear that someone was going to hurt you or someone you cared for?

You and Papyrus counted it lucky if you went on a shopping trip and the only things thrown at you were insults.

You were so worried about going on campus with Sans.It was much more densely populated and there would be more people than either of you were used to. Schools were always a gathering place for ideas and movements.

You couldn’t help but worry about what movements would be the loudest there.

It was strange to be on campus again.

For the most part it hadn’t changed. The new theater building they were just starting construction on when you left was finished, the trees were just a bit bigger, and they finally repainted the railing leading up to the science building.

But the faces were different.

You recognized a few, the ones that were just freshmen when you left. A handful you had tutored, but they didn’t seem to recognize you. You were glad for it, really. Being here after so long was making you tense and nervous, causing the skeleton next to you to become even more tense than he already was.

Of course from an outside eye nobody could notice just how tense he was. Sans was the poster boy for relaxed and lazy. It had been a fight just to get him to shed the blue parka long enough to wash it, but he certainly looked good in a pair of slacks and a clean white turtle neck. As soon as he had thrown the freshly laundered parka back on, you couldn’t hold back your giggles as he sank back into his comfortable slouch and burrowed into the warmth of it.

You dressed in a pair of slacks yourself and donned a fitted button downed shirt instead of one of your sweater, adding a fuzzy gray cardigan on top for warmth as well as the tactile fluff you took comfort in. Sure spring was coming but it was barely February, not at all warm enough to go without some form of jacket.

Both of you were worried. With the way your last few outings went you both were braced for the worst.

But the campus was… surprisingly nice.

Sure human students outnumbered monster students nine to one but they mingled fairly well. Yeah it was as cliched as any college environment, but those social lines were not drawn according to race.

You saw a cat monster with three humans heading toward the library carrying thick text books Combined with the fact that none of them looked like they had slept in weeks, you guessed they were probably law students. A pretty green fire elemental, who waved at Sans, was sitting with a few other girls watching a purple monster girl and some boys take turns showing each other different tricks on their skateboards. You even recognized a boisterous blonde bunny from Grillby’s who was working at the campuses coffee kiosk and looking considerably less drunk than you normally see her. This was a good sign. Sure there were still groups that shot dirty looks at monsters and those that befriended monsters, but it was clear they were the minority.

“it feels a lot more welcoming than i thought it would,” Sans voices next to you. You shoot a smile his way and squeeze his hand before tugging him toward the science building, one of the few you could probably navigate from memory alone. Sans eyes were practically sparkling as you walked by the various labs and classrooms. You had to practically drag him away from the bulletin board advertizing different classes and lectures.

He has to return the favor when you freeze in the hallway leading up to the professor's office. A firm boney hand rubs small circles in the center of your back while you steel yourself. It was going to be fine. This teacher wants to see you. Wants to see Sans.

Wants to help.

A few deep breaths and you offer a smile to the skeleton next to you.

***Okay, I’m ready.***

“hi ready, i’m sans,” He responded with a widening grin and a low chuckle.

It didn’t fool you. You could see the stress in the corners of his mouth and the rims of his eye sockets. You were quick to swoop in and press a kiss to the ridge of his nasal bone, turning him such a lovely shade of blue that you couldn’t hold back a giggle.

“not fair,” you heard him grumble as you lead the way to Professor Clark Parnell’s office door. It was already cracked open.

Before your nerves could take hold again you firmly knock on the door frame and peek into the partially open door.

Your name was called out to invite you in. Parnell’s regularly dry and monotone voice held a hint of fondness that you weren't expecting as you and Sans stepped into his office.

It was exactly as you remembered it. Bookcases lined the walls, desk in the center, a scattering of cushioned chairs spaced around the room. The wood of the desk was a rich warm dark wood with intricate little designs carved along the edges. It was a pretty thing that looked like it belonged in a dean, or a psychiatrist's office than a physicist who has decided to take on teaching in his retirement.

The bookshelves matched the desk for color. Some filled with books, many of which you knew he wrote, and quite a few ragged that looked like he had gone over them several times with highlighters and sticky notes. A few awards were shoved up on the higher shelves where they would be out of his way.

The Xerox boxes stacked beside and behind his desk spoke more of this being the office of the head of the science department, rather than that of someone solely there to impress or intimidate you. From the open one alone you could tell they were filled with paper marked with various notes and equations, heavily marked with notes, and even more equations in the corners and margins.

It looked like your old professor may be starting another book.

Speaking of your professor.

He was an older man in his late sixties with a dark complexion. He looked considerably more freckled than when you last saw him face to face. He was just as tall and lean as you remembered him. His hair still trimmed close to his skull to keep it low maintenance and likely to hide his receding hairline. He had never been one for a full suit, or even ties, preferring button ups and sweater vests.

Eyes that normally were always half lidded in a look of mild interest widened slightly in surprise as they landed on you. He had passed on his way around the desk to greet you. His eyes gave you a once over before flicking to Sans and doing the same.

Once his eyes were back on you they had returned to normal.

“Damn, child, what happened to you? You look like you’ve been through hell.” Blunt as always. You cut off the quiet growl coming from behind you with a shake of your head and a slight laugh of your own. You stepped forward to meet the older man with an outstretched hand.

You were slightly surprised when Parnell used it to pull you into a brief and stiff hug.

“You’ve lost weight, a lot of weight. Have you been sick?” Before you could sign otherwise a bony arm wrapped around you waist and pulled you against Sans side.

“Ah, you must be Sans, It's good to meet you,” Your professor said without missing a beat as he turned to Sans and extended a hand.

“sans, sans the skeleton.” You glance to the side and a brief look of panic crosses your face. Sans eyes are on your professors extended hand, and there's no hiding the excited and mischievous sparkle in his eyes.

Oh no.

Before you could sign, say, or do anything, their hands meet as a loud wet sound of flatulence fills the air.

Horror fills your face and surprise covers Parnell’s.

Then the turd of a skeleton beside you starts to cackle.

You shove his shoulder and step away to start to sign.

***Oh my god, Sans. Really? Really? Oh my god!***

You were sure you repeat yourself several times before a deep rich laugh joined the skeleton’s cackle. “A whoopie cushion? Really? I havn’t seen one of those since I was a child!”

Sans turns his palm to show the little whoopie cushion taped to his hand. “heh whoopie cushion in the hand trick, it never gets old.”

You take a moment to compose yourself and hid your face in your palms to prevent Sans from seeing you fight back a contagious giggle.

“Well, it’s certainly interesting to meet you, Sans. Feel free to call me Clark.” Your old professor chuckled before returning to sit behind his desk and shuffle a few folders around to expose a laptop.

“So… How did a term off turn into two years? How’re your siblings? Trent and Ashley right?”

***They prefer Ash,*** you corrected out of habit before continuing. ***That is… a long story and it's not particularly pleasant.***

Sans set a gentle boney hand on your back to lead you toward the pair of chairs in front of the desk.

Clark’s sign language was a bit rusty but you signed out the basics, Sans translating when needed. You explained that you felt trapped in an abusive situation and needed to take care of your siblings. But now you’re out of it for the most part, that Trent in Ash are temporarily in foster care while you tried to get custody.

Professor Parnell was livid. Not really at you, but you were not fully spared his ire. “You could have contacted me. I’d have helped. Hell, you're one of the brightest students I’ve had in a long time. To think that was very nearly wasted!”

You shrug and sink into your chair a bit.

***I didn’t want to be a bother.***

You really didn’t. You were so used to being considered a hindrance at best,even before you lived with Jerry. You had always gone out of your way to avoid asking for help or imposing yourself on others, especially those you respected as much as Professor Parnell.

The man took a breath before shaking his head. “Yes… I figured as much. Regardless, it is good to see you again. I’ve gone over your credits, I think you’ll be able to take the classes you need and finish off your thesis. Then we can talk about you getting your doctorate.”

He flipped open his laptop to type a few things into it. “You’ll have check with financial, but when you get custody of your siblings the fact that you have dependents will qualify you for some government programs.”

***I don’t know if I’ll get a doctorate.***

“You will.”

“you will.”

Both men spoke in unison, startling your hands into stalling.  They share a chuckle before Sans spoke.

“babe, if you didn’t have to worry about Trent and Ash, even about me and Paps. if it was just you, what would you do?”

You thought a long moment while listening to the tap of Parnell’s keyboard before finally answering.

***Probably take classes until they got tired of me and kicked me out.***

“Or had you teach. Or hired you on in one of the labs. Before you left there actually talk of having you become a teacher's assistant instead of a tutor. Regardless, I’ve known you long enough that I can tell you're the kind who loves to learn for the sake of learning.”

You raised your hands to sign but Parnell cut you off, “If money is an issue, well, I’m sure we can come up with a long term solution, but for now I have a few scholarships you qualify for, simple write an essay fill out your information types.” With one last keystroke you heard a printer kick into action before he turned his to Sans.

“Now. Mr.… Sans. What degrees are you hoping to get accredited?”

“well, i had what you’d consider a doctorate in physics electrical engineering, as well as several magical applications of technology that i’m not sure how useful they are now-a-days, let alone how you’d accredit them.”

“Really now? We’re bringing in a monster teacher What we have learned from the soon-to-be Dr. Alphys alone is quite impressive. I assume you’ve put this knowledge into practice? What sorts of projects did you work on?” There was a spark of excitement in Parnell’s eyes as he leaned forward across his desk to focus fully on Sans.

“yeah, worked with the royal scientist before Alphys. Was the lead engineer when we built the CORE, that’s what we used underground for electricity. it converted geothermal energy and ambient magic and spits out electric energy. it powered the whole underground for… a long time.”

Sans faltered towards the end before giving a shrug and a forced grin. “pretty sure its still running, spitting out power for the monsters who didn’t want to leave and for the people who want to visit.”

“Thats amazing… I’ve read about the CORE, spoke with Alphys quite a bit about it. Think how that kind of technology could be put to use above ground!” You weren't sure that you’ve ever seen this mans eyes sparkle like that.

“I think we will easily be able to accredit your degrees, Mr. Sans.” The teacher stood and collected the papers from the printer before handing them to you. “Would you mind giving me a moment with your boyfriend? Please consider filling out at least a few of these scholarship applications, it was good to see you again and I’m glad you're returning to finish your education.”

You give Sans a glance and he gives you a shrug in return before your step out of the room to wait in the hall.

Sans can take care of himself, and you doubt your professor will do anything bad to your bonefriend.

But still.

You worry.

It wasn’t long until Sans joined you, letting the door snap shut behind him. Maybe ten minutes? Long enough for you to read through the applications and for you to start mentally planning your email to the financial department.

Sans looked a bit nervous with a few beds of sweat running down his skull and a slight flush to his cheekbones. When his eyes met you he grinned and walked straight into you to wrap his arms around your waist, just a few inches from burying his face in your chest.

“we done here?” His voice had a slight strain to it.

“...Yes,” you responded easily while pulling him the rest of the way into you to rub slow circles into his shoulderblades.

A low hum was your only warning before you felt the familiar tug of a shortcut.

Then you felt a different kind of tug that pulled you forwards until you were falling. Sans twisted the pair of you just in time so most of your weight landed on his mattress rather than on his bony body.

He seemed intent on clinging to you for the near future so you amused yourself with tracing small patterns on his shoulder blades and down his spine. The light hum that vibrated against your chest and sent a flush to your face was a sure sign your affections were appreciated.

It took a few minutes for him to calm down enough to tilt his head up and rub his teeth against your lips. He looked considerably more relaxed than before.

“What did he have to say that was so bad?” You hummed quietly.

That brought back the blue blush and his eyelights seemed to want to look anywhere but your face.

“he ah… said that he’d like me to teach a class about magical energy conversion if I can get Alphys to vouch for me… seems like it’s not one of her strong suits and it would pair well with her magitech class.”

“That's good?” You question. You're met with an earnest grin and a slight nod. “yeah. i love having an audience, i’d get paid to torment a bunch of kids with my amazing jokes and sometimes talk about something i know a lot about. It would be great…”

“You’d be able to quit all those part-time jobs you hate.”

“i don’t hate the hotdog stand.” He gave you an offended look and you bent down to bump your forehead against his.

“So what's wrong than?”

“well… it's nothing about the job offer, more that… well. i don’t know if you realize how much that guy cares about you…”

You're look of confusion must have been question enough. “said something along the lines that he never had any kids of his own but always thought of you as well… not his kid, but you get the idea. wanted to make sure what my intentions were and that i wouldn’t hurt you. i explained that was the last thing i ever wanted to do to you… i mighta got carried away explaining that…”

You flushed darkly and and enjoyed the matching blue that was taking over his face. “What… did you say?” You question softly, and earn a flustered whine from the skeleton. His eyelights met your eyeballs and you narrowed your eyes playfully. You were more than willing to lay here and cuddle him until he spilled.

With a huff and a slight pout he buried his face just under your chin. For a brief moment you thought he was hiding until you felt his teeth tugging on the upper button of your dress shirt.

“Sans?”

Your only answer was a snap you felt more than heard and the feeling of teeth against the hollow of your neck.

“Did…” You paused as he left a little nip against your collarbone before gently scraping his teeth up the line of your neck. You weren't sure when you had rolled onto your back, but you were now very aware of him half leaning over you propping himself up with a hand fisted in the fabric of your cardigan.

“Did… you just eat my button?”

Pausing mid nip just under your jaw, he was still for a moment before taking a long breath and collapsing on top of you. He wasn’t all that heavy, but it was still enough to knock your breath from you.

“maybe?” He was shaking with the effort to hold back his laughter and you nudged his skull  while doing your best to fight off your own and keep some offense in your voice. “You don’t know?”

That broke the dam as his suppressed giggles turned into full cackles. You couldn’t hold back your laughter any longer as you started to chuckle under him.

Though it was shortly cut off into a gasp as teeth pressed into the sensitive place where your jaw joined your skull, just under your left ear.

That felt… really nice.

But that doesn't mean you don’t know what he was up to.

“You're… trying to distract me,” You stated, earning a small tug against your earlobe and an amused hum.

“is it working?” his teeth scrape across your jaw and you tilt your head to try and catch him with your lips. He dodged you easily and found the neglected spot under your right ear to give it the same attention.

You wanted to respond with a, ‘No, it wasn’t working,’ but you couldn’t quite get the words out through a sound that was very close to a moan as your fingers scraped down the back of his ribs, looking for purchase, pulling a growl from Sans.

That was a sound you wanted to hear again. But the way Sans pulled away from you to meet your eyes with a searching look that you knew you were walking a thin line.

This was very close to becoming more than a makeout session. You weren't sure if you were ready, and from the slight hesitation in his movements you knew he wasn’t quite sure either.

But you knew that you mirrored the want in his eyes, and you couldn’t help but lean forward to ghost your lips over his teeth. The tension in the room was thick and heavy as the teeth pressed more firmly to your lips.

The mood broke at a loud call of your name, followed by an even louder call for Sans.

Papyrus was home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I Really want to write out the next chapter before I move for... reasons... but I don't want to get your hopes up. Though you'll probably get a few chapters of a fluffy Papyrus/reader story I started thats in the process of being edited.


	27. CHAPTER 27 (And a note...)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Dusts off account and fanfictions.
> 
> Hey guys. Long time no see. I… Honestly don’t expect anyone who followed my fics to still be on the lookout for them it's been so long. But on the off chance that you are still around ‘I’m Sorry’ doesn’t begin to cover it for disappearing for as long as I did.
> 
> I’ll post the rest below if you're interested in why I’ve been gone. My tumblr, that is dustier than my fanfiction account, is over here →
> 
>  
> 
> [Its NSFW so Children Beware.](http://allipuss.tumblr.com/)

You are baking.

You are baking with as much focus as you can muster while trying not to eavesdrop on the conversation happening between the two brothers. While at the same time… you are listening intently to see if you need to step in.

Ok, you were eavesdropping.

But they certainly weren't making it hard.

Papyrus’ inside voice could be heard from across the apartment on a good day. But during this heated argument, he seems to have lost all pretenses of an inside voice.

But what had you shaking slightly as you tried to focus on stirring brownie batter was the fact that Sans had raised his voice.

It wasn’t loud... Not quite yelling, but it was deep. His voice rumbled through the house and shook you to your bones.

It scared you.

It wasn’t directed at you, but it scared you.

“you’ve been dating for a little over a month and you want to go on tour with him?! for two years?!” Sans voice held a tinge of anger in it and you had to keep reminding yourself that it wasn’t directed at you. He’s not mad at you. He’s not mad at Papyrus. He’s mad at the situation.

How many times had Jerry just been “mad” and you just so happened to be the easiest outlet.

No. Sans would never.

You scraped down the brownie batter a little more aggressively than you needed to as you reminded yourself of that.

Stop. Shaking.

...Please.

“SO?! HE LOVES ME, AND I LOVE HIM! I AM SURE THAT HE IS MY SOULMATE! BESIDES I’M NOT GOING TO BE GONE FOR TWO YEARS! I’M GOING TO BE GONE SIX MONTHS, THEN WE WILL BE BACK HERE FOR A MONTH WHILE METTATON TAKES A BREAK BETWEEN THE EAST COAST SHOWS AND THE SOUTHERN ONES! THEN WE SHALL BE BACK IN FOUR BEFORE THE WEST COAST, AND AGAIN AFTER THAT BEFORE THE FINAL SHOWS!”

It was just Papyrus… You were used to Papyrus being loud.

Everything was fine. You were ok.

When did you get on the floor?

It didn’t matter.

“you're what? that bucket of bolts is your **w h a t?** you're sure?!”

“AS SURE AS YOU ARE ABOUT-”

“don’t.”

You were barely listening anymore… not really. You pressed yourself into a corner, pressing your knees against your chest while resting your face against your knees.

Dammit. It's been so long… You haven’t gotten like this since the bad night…

“i thought you wanted to help us find a house? you were excited about it! you’re going to miss moving in if you leave in two weeks! we might not even have a place picked out by then!”

“WELL… TRUE… BUT, I MEAN IN THE LONG RUN IF METTATON AND MYSELF CONTINUE OUR RELATIONSHIP…”

“oh, stars. no. i can’t have t h a t conversation right now.”

“PLEASE BROTHER! I’M AN ADULT! BESIDES, YOU HAVE YOUR… UGH. ‘VERTABAE’ TO TAKE CARE OF YOU! AND FOR YOU TO TAKE CARE OF! YOU WON’T BE ALONE! AND I… IT’S… HARD ENOUGH BEING APART FROM METTATON AS IT IS…”

“you... stars. you didn’t!” There was anger… a hint of horror in his voice.

“I-ITS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS IF WE DID!” In response, you don’t think you’ve heard Papyrus so embarrassed. You registered long stomping strides moving away from you and you relaxed ever so slightly. Still… your knuckles were turning white as you clutched the legs of your pants.

“where are you going? this isn’t over!”

“YES, IT IS! I’M NOT A BABYBONES ANYMORE!” You flinched so hard at the slam of the door that the back of your skull hit the cabinet.

It was quiet… Papyrus was gone. The fight was over.

And you were still scared.

You couldn’t stop shaking. You weren't even fully here anymore. It wasn’t even that similar… it was just… The fighting, the yelling, the stomping, the slamming… It put you in a bad place.

It brought back memories and phantom pains from not so long ago.

You had been good. You had been so good! You had been almost normal. Why now? Why can’t you deal with this like a normal person would?

Why did you have to cower and flinch at every little word!? You weren't even sure how long you had been down here… how long had they been arguing?

“...sweetheart-”

You flinched at his voice and bit your lip so hard you began to taste blood. This was stupid. Sans wouldn’t hurt you. Sans would NEVER hurt you.

“..fuck… stars.” You heard your name and the shuffle of his approaching slippers

You opened your eyes… when had you closed them? He was kneeling in front of you. His face was… You hadn’t seen him look so worried since that night. He reached towards your face but hesitated when you flinched back.

“it’s ok sweetheart… oh, stars… how long? i’m sorry.” Cool bones met your face, stroking your cheek ever so softly.

It was ok… It’s just Sans. Sans wouldn’t hurt you. Sans was you, boyfriend. Not an hour ago he ate your button and was well on his way to turning you into goop the way he had been playing with your neck.

“shh, it’s ok sweetheart…” He pried one of your hands off your leg and pressed it against his chest.

You knew this. You had started to match his breathing before you felt his cloth covered sternum under your fingertips.

It didn’t take long to calm down. But you weren't ready to get up.

You ended up in Sans’ lap on the floor, face pressing against his shoulder for nearly thirty minutes. It wasn’t the most comfortable place but you felt safe here. He didn’t ask what triggered it… But the apologetic looks he was shooting you… The way he shooed you out of the kitchen and into the living room… You think he had an idea.

Sans finishes your brownies. The pleasant smell of warm chocolate filled the apartment before he finally joined you on the couch. He didn’t sit too close, but close enough that you could lean forward and touch if you wanted.

You did. You wanted the contact.

He only seemed a little surprised when you closed the distance to lean against him, slightly turning to use your hands.

***I’m Sorry-***

He cut you off, cupping his boney fingers around yours to pull them against his teeth. “no, it’s ok. not your fault sweetheart. don’t apologize for it.”

Sans paused for a moment, his thumbs rubbing your fingers before he let them go.

“do ya… wanna talk about it?”

You paused… did you? No… but you probably should. You… you weren't going to get better unless you talked about it. Talked to someone.

Talk being a loose term because you couldn’t bring yourself to vocalize, not after your panic attack.

So you began to sign. You explained to Sans how it wasn’t really his or Papyrus’ fault. But how the yelling and the anger and frustration put you in a bad mental place. You explain how disappointed in yourself you are. How you had been doing so well, how you hadn’t really had an attack since the bad night.

You… sign briefly about some of the worst things Jerry has done to you. How you had grown to fear even the slightest sign of irritation or hint of anger in his voice.

And you apologize again.

For being broken… Sans deserved more, deserved better than a shattered mess like you.

You had every intention, of telling Sans every little thing that made him perfect. What made you lov- care deeply about him, but he stops you. Light blue tears are gathering in the corners of his sockets and you know that if you tell him everything you feel for him the dams will break.

You don’t know why… you’ve not known him long but you feel pulled to him. Like he was a piece of you that you hadn’t realized you were missing until you met him.

You aren't whole without him… If you lost him you were sure you would never be whole again. It was almost like...

...Like he was your soulmate.

But… those weren't real were they? Just a thing that happened in movies and stories. Not to real people…

But Papyrus called Mettaton his soulmate…

“sweetheart... you're not broken. maybe a little cracked and dinged up in places. but it gives ya character. souls like yours… like ours… sure they got scars but they are still good.”

The palm of his hand rests against your sternum... In any other setting, this would have made you flush but this didn’t feel sexual… It felt deeper. Much more private and personal.

It didn’t feel like his fingers were pressing against the fabric covering your chest. It felt like they were inches away from touching something deeper.

“your... stars. i haven't really seen your soul, but the way it lights up and flares when you’re happy. the way it pulses when you smile or laugh. you aren't broken, sweetheart. you're a survivor.”

His hand laid flat against your chest for a long time and you leaned against him, flustered and unable to speak or sign after such a deeply personal moment.

The way he talked about souls…

“Y-you talk like s-souls are a real thing…” You mumble, shifting to press your back to his chest and lean back against him. You felt so tired after your attack and after talking to Sans.

“they are… humans… forgot about them while monsters were underground. but they are real. monsters are mostly their soul with only a little physical matter. human souls are deeper, protected under all of this.” He gave you a light pinch and you squealed.

Sans chuckled at that, gently rubbing the abused skin.

Still, you saw it for what it was. He was trying to redirect the conversation.

“W-what does it look like?” You question and you can’t help but smile at the defeated groan that escaped his teeth.

“...it’s… heart shaped. humans are brightly colored and generally stronger than monster souls. ours are upside down hearts… white most of the time but they can take on the color of a monster’s magic.” Your poor bone friend… sounded so uncomfortable talking about this.

But Undyne and Alphys said you should ask Sans about soul stuff…

The way Papyrus had claimed Mettaton as his soulmate. Like it was a real thing.

What was Sans to you? What were you to him?

“Can you?” You weren't sure… show you? Explain what this was? The way Sans’ hands tightened on you… held you close as he buried his face against your back… You knew the answer. You knew that his face was darker than his hoodie.

“t-that’s... a really big step. ta’ look at someone's soul outside of battle… stars. that’s... i don’t think i’m… we’re ready…” You could feel him shaking as you squirmed in his hold to wrap your arms around him to just hold him.

“I-its okay Sans. We can wait.” You felt him nod but you didn’t get another response from him.

He was happy to just hold you close, and honestly, you were happy to be held.

You stayed like that until he fell asleep against you. Until you heard the timer for the brownies.

Then you had to squirm out of his vice like hold to try and save them from burning.

Brownies were a good thing. Warm gooey chocolate… Just what you needed after your attack. By the time you made it back into the living room with two large still hot brownies, Sans was half awake and looking for you.

Shoot… looks like you would have to share one with your bonefriend.

Silently mourning the loss of what would have been a glorious moment of gluttony you pass your sleepy skeleton one of the brownies and snuggle up to him.

The both of you really needed the comfort of chocolate and cuddles. Now that you were mostly calm you notice just how shaken Sans is.

It had a bad enough figh- argument… that it set you off. It must have been awful to be a part of it. You can’t remember a time the pair actually fought.

Sure they bickered… pulled little jokes and japes on one another. But truly fight?

Never.

At least not that you’ve seen or heard. You were pretty sure that you would have noticed. The closest they had gotten to a fight was the whole starting to date Mettaton thing.

You tug Sans into your lap. You stroke the back of his skull and occasionally pick crumbs of chocolate off of his hoodie while you try to find your words.

“Is… It so bad? U-undyne made it seem like moving fast was normal for monster…”

Sans huffed and shoved the remainder of his brownie in his mouth to delay his answer. You could tell Sans didn’t want to talk about this. But you DID promise Papyrus that you would help talk Sans around.

Sure, when you agreed it was more of a ‘provide emotional support for all parties while I go out on the longest road trip ever!’ rather than an ‘I’m kinda more moving out but I’ll visit a lot!’

“it... is. for the most part anyway… when someone finds their person… it hurts to be apart from them. even for a short time.” He nuzzled against you and let out a defeated sigh.

“i can’t stop him… i can’t hurt him like that if he and that bucket of bolts really are… i just… i really really don’t like Metta, sweetheart.”

His arms wrapped around your waist as he nuzzled into your neck. “ya’ don’t know what he was like underground. he’s selfish… and god forbid the time- times when he’s in charge. i’m honestly surprised he could see past his own ego long enough to see paps…”  The dark way he talked you could feel that this was somewhere you shouldn’t push it.

Sure Mettaton had quite the ego… and he had some questionable invasive habits towards friends. But you couldn’t see him as fully bad… not really.

But Sans was right. You didn’t know what he was like then. Just what he was like now…

“He makes Paps happy…” You offer, giving him a squeeze.

“yeah... he does do that…” Sans responded.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I mentioned in August I was moving? I think I did but I will mention it again. I moved, from the pacific northwest to the coast of Virginia. It is almost as far away as I can get from where I grew up. Left behind all my friends and family to start a new life here. Clean slate.
> 
> Nobody ever talks about how hard that is. 
> 
> I got within a few weeks of landing here, Min wage is really awful in Virginia, there are places where it is worse, but not many. It's a good job, I like it, I get to work with animals. It’s a lot of work, though. And it's super draining. Having a full-time job really eats up free time. Depression doesn’t help. And I’ll be honest it's been getting worse and worse to the point I’ve made an appointment so I can discuss getting back on medication. 
> 
> But I can’t continue on the way I have been. Working and then coming home and barely having the energy to cook or spend time with friends via online or with my significant other. I work and I sleep. That’s all I really do right now. Days off, if It's not shared with my other than I can almost guarantee that I won’t wake up until I have to. Its… awful. I hate being like this. I hate the fact that I am distancing myself from writing and art, things I love. That I’m pulling away from friends because I just can’t. 
> 
> I want to be normal. I want to be happy.
> 
> Some good things that have happened since my move. I’ve made some great new friends! I got involved in an RP group and fell back in love with roleplaying. If I’m honest it's one of the reasons I managed to actually work on chapters again. 
> 
> I adopted two leopard geckos! They are named Andy and Frank. They are both girls.
> 
> I’ve started a school/training program that will let me function fully as a dog groomer! It's a lot of fun and I enjoy it so far. 
> 
> For the future, I can’t promise consistency. I’m not sure when I will be able to write or post something. But I will finish what I’ve started. Even if it takes a while. ‘I’m Fine’ is going to get some touch-up and continuity fixes. ‘I need to tell you something…’ will to. I’ll post any changes I make. ‘Static’ will eventually get a continuation of sorts but that's a long ways off. I’m going to post a one-shot series because I have a few smutty and angsty ones that I use as warm ups to get me in the writing mood.
> 
> That is it I think. The basics of it all anyway. I’m sorry again for disappearing, I’ll try not to do it again but if it does happen again. I’m sorry for that to.


End file.
